The seven stages of relegation for a Newcastle supporter

5) Anger

Could have been a lot worse than 5

Chelsea 5 - 1 Newcastle United (Saturday 13/2/2016)

For crying out loud, did you ever see a more spineless performance in the top flight of English football? Within two weeks of the transfer window closing, our unaddressed defensive frailties have erupted like an infected abscess, and Newcastle are 3 - 0 down after seventeen minutes. It makes my blood boil.

Relegation? (through gritted teeth) Possibly.