Singing Hoedown: Mario Balotelli

I was watching the very popular TV series ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway’, when they had a round called Hoedown. The 4 members of the show were given a topic, and each had to sing 4 lines regarding the topic, in an American folk song style. Sure enough, as a football fan, I started wondering what it’d be like if Mario Balotelli were involved in one of these.

Stars on the show : Jose Mourinho, Roberto Mancini, Joey Barton and Mario Balotelli.

*Music starts*

Mourinho :

I’ve worked with Balotelli, and boy was it a pain; When he loses his head, my tactics go down the drain. He does the weirdest stuff; he rubs the club name in dirt; He gets himself clicked wearing our city rival’s shirt!!

Mancini

Mario Balotelli is infamous for his deeds; When he gets bored in training, he throws darts at the kids. He makes me wanna tear my hair, makes me wanna retire; How did he even manage to set his bathroom on fire?!

Barton:

Come don’t make me laugh now, Mario’s just a kid; Ask for my opinion when he’s done half the things I did. What’s with all the talk? I don’t see the reason; He’s not even a man; neither punched nor been to prison!

Balotelli:

I don’t like being laughed at; I think it isn’t fair; They make fun of my celebration; sometimes even my hair.What’s the big deal if I throw darts or crash my Audi? Why can’t they leave me alone? WHY ALWAYS ME?!