Cristiano Ronaldo is still the second best player in the world

In a professional career spanning twenty-five years, Simon “Smudger” Smith played for over sixty-seven clubs. The ultimate utility player, as his pace diminished, Smudger managed to reinvent himself time and again, from poacher to holding midfielder, centre-back to goalkeeper.

It’s fair to say that hopes aren’t too high for an England World Cup triumph next summer. Even those fervently optimistic fans that get ‘England World Cup Winners’ tattoos before the tournament even starts are going for ‘England World Cup 2nd Round 2014’ designs for Rio.

Last Tuesday, two of England’s oldest enemies (Germany and themselves) combined to inflict a consecutive Wembley defeat for the first time in 36 years. Germany looked organised and technically proficient while England may not have been entirely toothless, there was a feeling that their jaw has been wired shut. Having said that, I thought the performance was actually a very good one to build on for next summer – it was perfectly flat.

It was a fairly unremarkable friendly save for the heart-warming reports that at half-time both teams put aside their boots and the match ball to have a war.

Elsewhere the games had more importance as Rio’s line-up was confirmed. A lot of people had written France off at 2-0 down against Ukraine but the one thing you can say about the French is that they never give up. They were expected to face a tough but with their love of garlic, I always thought they would feel at home in the middle of Kiev.

Portugal also booked their place with a strong team performance. What most excites me about them is the way they stick to their systems and each player does his job to make them better than the sum of their parts. It’s hard to single out one player butCristiano Ronaldo certainly had a decent game. No doubt he’ll be delighted to have surely secured his place as the second best player in the world and will sit back happy with such an impressive accolade.

I know all too well how the pressures of awards can get to players. It seems like only yesterday that I was on the shortlist for an international award. For years debate had raged over who was the prominent player between me and Jan Molby. We were very different players but Jan had beaten me to the Balloon D’or three years in a row, but plenty of people thought I was actually the fattest footballer. He was more round and often more spectacular when falling but I think it’s fair to say that my weight had a greater impact on my team than his did on his. Anyway, one year they decided to push back the voting after one fateful weekend and it really opened the door for me. I went off to Nevile Southall’s birthday weekend while Jan contracted a stomach virus. I still think I would have been overlooked once again were it not for the two whole cheesecakes I put away on the bus on the way home.

It was the only personal award of my career in the end. I was actually nominated for the Barn D’Or once but in typical fashion I was waylaid and missed it.

Another knock-on effect of Portugal’s win was ensuring the World Cup will be devoid of Zlatan Ibrahimovic. The charming Swede announced that the tournament won’t be worth watching without him but I think we’ll manage. It made me think of Eastenders in the 90s when Nigel left. It was a blow to lose the fifth most important character, but life went on.