Tales from the Tabs – Sunday 9th June

The Sunday Mirror

While last week’s edition was so poor it appeared to have been put together by the work experience kid, this week’s attempt appears to be edited by someone who has misread their instructions. Instead of telling us who may be going where, which let’s face it, is all we buy the bloody paper for, we are instead given a list of players who will all be staying at their current clubs. It will warm the hearts of many that Edin Dzeko and Carlos Tevez are looking to stay at Man City, presumably due to their love of the club rather than failing to find someone else who will match their wages. Equally exciting is the news that Christian Benetke is discussing a new contract and Marouane Fellaini is expected to stay at Everton by Roberto Martinez. Belatedly, we are told that Chelsea like the look of Rooney, Cavani, Jovetic and Hulk, while not being so keen on Torres and Demba Ba. Whilst Bernard is the subject of a tug of war between Dortmund and Spurs. Let’s face it, a real life tug of war between Jurgen Klopp and AVB with the winner getting Bernard would be far, far more entertaining than The Mirror could ever dream of being. Must do better – again.

NOT pictured: Jurgen Klopp and AVB. Courtesy of RonAlmog

The Daily Star on Sunday

Running the Mangala and van Ginkel to Chelsea story shows that an agent somewhere has been busy and doing his job well. The Star follow this in their usual pragmatic style by claiming that Peterborough are asking £10m for Dwight Gayle. Who says there is no value in the English market? Tears will be shed in North London with both ?ukasz Fabia?ski and Gervinho linked overseas, with the proceeds and then some being spent on Stevan Joveti? and Yohan Gourcuff.

It wouldn’t be a transfer window without a Patrice Evra rumour, and this time it is a return to Monaco that the paper ‘understands’ will take place. Failing that, Gael Clichy could be off to the principality as the Monaco Football Manager 2014 project continues at pace. The titling of Tiago Ilori to Liverpool as an exclusive seems slightly bizarre, considering the story has been in pretty much every national publication over the last fortnight. Expect an Isco to Man City ‘Exclusive’ next week. Steve McClaren is apparently the new manager Dave Whelan wants to install at Wigan, while far from being content at Everton, The Star foresee Fellaini going to either Chelsea, Arsenal, Man United or Napoli.

Another busy week for The Star, although I’d say The People just edges it out for overall gossip. However, with The Sun starting to drop its transfer ‘truth bombs’, they make it the one to watch over the forthcoming weeks. As for The Mirror? It can’t get any worse, surely…