The coach, the Polynesian Island and the Spaniard: The art of being a loser

LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat hugs Head Coach Gregg Popovich of the San Antonio Spurs following the Heat’s victory against the Spurs in Game Seven of the 2013 NBA Finals on June 20, 2013 at American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida

I’m a big believer in the idea that a person’s true character is revealed in adversity and difficulty, not when everything is going right. When you are under pressure or in a tough situation, that is when everybody sees what kind of person you truly are.

In sports, that means when you’re losing.

Nobody likes a sore loser, but there are plenty of examples of them rearing their ugly head, most of all in the sporting world. John Drummond, the US 100m sprinter, led on the track and refused to move after a false start penalty disqualified him in the World Track Championships in 2003. The shot of him led prone on the track, pleading “I did not move” to the officials, is one of the more infamous and pathetic images in sporting history.

Ranking not far behind is Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, whose refusal to shake Mark Hughes’ hand after his side’s League Cup defeat to Manchester City back in 2009 sparked media attention at the time. There are countless other examples, far too many to delve into here.

Granted, a crushing defeat must feel nearly unbearable to someone who puts all of their energy into doing one thing: winning. It must be so difficult to walk away with your head held high and kind words in your mouth after that experience. However difficult it may be, though, it is the right thing to do. It is so much more dignified for an athlete to go out with grace and pride than with a sulking whimper. The man who sulks after a defeat doesn’t just lose once, he loses twice.

This past 10 days or so have been the time for celebrating the best of the losers. The eyes of the sporting world have been on three competitions: the NBA Basketball Finals in the United States, the Tennis Championships at Wimbledon, and Confederations Cup in Brazil. Three competitors from those tournaments, the San Antonio Spurs, the Tahiti national football team and tennis star Rafael Nadal, are linked by one unenviable distinction. They all lost.

But these are no ordinary losers. They are losers who have reminded us of the value of losing with a grace and dignity that is to be admired and celebrated. In very different circumstances, these athletes have all handled their defeats in the exact same way; with sheer class.

Gregg Popovich and the San Antonio Spurs

What do you do when you’re the coach of a team that loses one of the closest, most exciting and most stressful NBA Finals ever played in the history of professional basketball? When your team falls in overtime of the seventh and final game, at the very last hurdle that it possibly could? Do you cry? Do you scream? Do you sulk at the podium and tell the media how devastated you are?

Well, that’s what most of us might do. But not Gregg Popovich.

The San Antonio Spurs head coach watched his side gruel through seven extraordinary games against the favourites Miami Heat. He saw his side come inches away from victory more than once, only for a Ray Allen buzzer beater and a trademark takeover by LeBron James ultimately end his team’s chances of the title.

Popovich had every reason to feel angry and disappointed in defeat, and he undoubtedly was. But there was no way he was going to let those emotions get the better of him when the final buzzer went.

As time expired, Popovich did something so respectful and classy that the video of it went viral. He walked straight up to LeBron James, the Finals MVP and the man who snatched the Championship from right under Popovich’s nose, and he hugged him. He even told the Miami Heat forward that he loved him. It was a powerful mark of respect at what is usually the most volatile time for a defeated coach.

Popovich could have been angry. He could have complained about questionable officiating, or about the controversial flopping incidents (of which LeBron was a guilty party) that were highlighted during the series. He could have said that the Spurs deserved it more and that this was injustice.

But that just isn’t Popovich. At the post-match press conference, he went out and let everyone know that he was proud of his players, but that they lost to a better team, a team that he had the utmost respect for.

Leadership starts at the top, and the example that Popovich set for his team ran down to his entire franchise; both players and fans alike. Four-time NBA champion and 14-time NBA All-Star Tim Duncan remained especially humble in the agony of defeat, insisting on giving credit to the Heat and to LeBron in his post-match interviews.

What was especially encouraging to hear about the loss was that back in San Antonio, fans were out on the streets as a show of support for their team and for the game. They channelled their inner Popovich and stood as a community in celebration, refusing to be brought down by the pain of defeat.

Of course, everyone in Spurs colours that night still lamented their loss. The disappointment of losing the title in such circumstances is not something you can hide very easily. But beyond that, they still managed to rise above the hurt and celebrate being a part of such a special series. The Spurs attitude made them winners without a trophy; a true class act. Taking Coach Popovich’s great example they lost like men, on their feet, and they earned the respect of a nation for it. Everyone, from CBS analyst Bruce Feldman to the Houston Rockets‘ Jeremy Lin and even actor Billy Crystal, took to Twitter to share their admiration for the fallen finalists:

Wow….Popovich is so classy!

— Jeremy Lin (@JLin7) June 21, 2013

Tahiti holds up a sign reading ‘Obrigado Brasil’ after the FIFA Confederations Cup Brazil 2013 Group B match between Uruguay and Tahiti at Arena Pernambuco on June 22, 2013 in Recife, Brazil

Unlike the Spurs, who were on the brink of making the title their own at several points during the NBA Finals, the Tahiti national football side never stood a chance in the Confederations Cup. They lost all three of their group stage matches by scorelines of 6-1, 8-0 and 10-0 respectively, setting a record as the least successful team in Confederations Cup history.

The results were hardly surprising. Tahiti were a surprise addition to the tournament after somehow defeating New Zealand to claim the 2012 Oceania Football Confederation Nations Cup, a victory that earned them the right to appear with the world’s best in Brazil.

From the moment they qualified, Tahiti knew they were going to lose and so did everybody else. It was inevitable. They are a team of mainly amateurs competing against some of the most talented football players on the entire planet.

In that way it makes it easier for the Tahitians to accept defeat. Knowing they were outmatched and out of their depth, it would have been much easier to be gracious when the inevitable defeats eventually came. Even if it is by the sort of scorelines usually reserved for lopsided Sunday morning pub league games.

But what Tahiti showed us was a different kind of class. It was not the class that Coach Popovich and the Spurs showed by being gracious and humble losers. That would have come easily for the already humble underdogs. What Tahiti showed us was how to lose in the right way.

Losing with class and dignity is not just about your reaction at the final whistle, but your reaction throughout the entire contest. In all three of Tahiti’s heavy losses, the (mostly) amateur side acquitted themselves well, refusing to withdraw into defence and insisting instead on playing positive, attacking football with a fast pace and a high line.

Their efforts landed them with a minus 23 goal difference. But it also awarded them the respect of their opponents, and in turn the footballing world. Spain coach Vicente Del Bosque praised the Tahitians after his side handed them a 10-0 thrashing, telling journalists: “It was quite humbling to play against them. They were sporting, they played fairly well and every time they got the ball they tried to attack us. They were noble opponents”.

Nigerian forward Nnamdi Oduamadi offered similar praise after scoring against the Tahitians in Nigeria’s 6-1 victory in the opening game, saying: “Tahiti came out to fight like lions.“

Before bowing out at the end of their journey, the Tahitians gave us one final display of the admirable character that has quickly made them a fan favourite in Brazil this year. The squad paraded around the Maracana stadium sporting Brazil flags and a large banner which read “Thank You Brazil” in Portuguese.

Not many teams can walk away from a tournament with their pride intact after such crushing defeats, but after the effort and positivity with which Tahiti approached their inaugural Confederations Cup campaign, that is exactly what they have done.

Steve Darcis of Belgium shakes hands at the net with Rafael Nadal of Spain after their Gentlemen’s Singles first round match on day one of the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Championships at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club

Losing in straight sets to Belgian Steve Darcis, tennis superstar Rafael Nadal crashed out of the first round of Wimbledon in shocking fashion after struggling with the transition from clay to grass. It was obvious to all watching that Nadal was clearly hindered by his bandaged right knee. The Spaniard’s Achilles heel, so to speak, was clearly causing him a lot of discomfort and no doubt played a significant part in Nadal’s surprising defeat. Ever the professional, however, Nadal refused to use the knee problems, which also led to last year’s Wimbledon exit, as an excuse for the defeat.

Addressing his defeat after the game, he said: “There were not a lot of good things for me. I tried my best all the time I had my chances but I did not make it. It is difficult to adapt your game on grass. Now is not the right time to talk about my knee. The only thing I can do is congratulate my opponent. It is not a tragedy, I lost, it is sport.”

This was Nadal’s first ever first round exit from a major tournament, and he would probably have been excused for nursing his pride and blaming his woes on the injured knee. But Rafa wouldn’t stoop to that level. His body is letting him down, which must be unbelievably frustrating to a man who is still such a fierce competitor. To his credit, though, he did not let that frustration surface at any stage of the proceedings. He didn’t sulk during the match, he paused for autographs at the end and he maintained his composure and dignity in the post-match press conference. The 2 time Wimbledon champion went out with a lot of pride and a lot of class.

Our three examples are not the only sportsmen that can take a defeat well, but they serve a a prime example to everyone in all sports and in life in how to approach a defeat. Anyone can be a good winner, but it takes something altogether more difficult, and much more commendable, to be a good loser.

Very cool to see the warm reaction from Gregg Popovich to the Heat staff and players.

— Bruce Feldman (@BFeldmanCBS) June 21, 2013

I don’t think I’ve ever seen opposing players hug and kiss the coach of the other team after winning a title in any sport ever.

— Jimmy Traina (@JimmyTraina) June 21, 2013

How classy is Popovich? Great final. Congrats Pat.

— Billy Crystal (@BillyCrystal) June 21, 2013