The Footy Mumble: Frankie's new contract, Rooney the Hooligan!

Lampard’s got a new contract!

Signing a contract with Chelsea is definitely not on on the cards for Frank Lampard at the moment, and it seems the midfielder is moving quickly to secure his future by signing another contract – to write children’s books.

Aptly named Frankie’s Magic Football, the book is all about schoolboy Frank, his football loving friends, and his pet dog, Max.

“I first had the idea of Frankie and his Magic Football when reading stories to my own children. Sport and reading are two essentials for us at home, so I decided to make up my own football stories and adventures. The characters are loosely based on friends and team mates I’ve played with over the years. I am delighted that Little Brown liked the stories as much as my children and will be publishing the Frankie’s Magic Football series,” Lampard chirped about his new contract.

Rooney the Hooligan set to take on saintly Madrid

“Wayne Rooney is a football player and hooligan all rolled into one … a freckled demon. To look at him, you’d think he was one of the 4,000 British fans on the terraces … yelling and drinking beer and jumping the queue to get in through Gate D.”

Even before Manchester United set foot on the Bernabeu pitch, Madrid paper Marca seem to be scared about Wayne Rooney’s prowess, as he prepares to line up against Cristiano Ronaldo and co., with Hugo Cerezo writing the above lines for them.

Balotelli can never be missed, can he?

15 days since his move to Milan from Manchester, and it seems like Balotelli is making sure he doesn’t get forgotten too soon.

Just a couple of games into his Milan career, Balotelli has found himself in as many controversies. To his credit, neither were his own fault.

After receiving racial slurs from his own club’s Board member, he has now received them from his former fans (Inter Milan fans that is).

Inter Milan have been fined €15,000 for racist chants aimed at Balotelli from their fans during a match against Chievo on Sunday. Do we really need to dwell about the fact that the amount fined is more like pocket change for a footballer, let alone a club?

QPR crazy on Samba, says crazier Anzhi chief

It’s pretty common to see coaches and players in football developing amnesia and blaming the media for misreporting their comments. But it seems like this is being taken to new levels by Anzhi director German Tkachenko.

The Anzhi boss said in an interview to Russian site www.sports.ru:

“In my view QPR have lost their minds.”

Did we mention the line preceding it?

“At QPR he will earn almost as much as he did at Anzhi.”

Amnesia, anyone?

Video of the Day

In today’s Video of the Day, check out a brilliant back heel goal by Antti Frantsi in a Finnish Cup second round match.