The Footy Mumble: Of chimps and models

Today’s mumble is all about management. Some want to buy clubs, some are looking for successors while others are asking for mercy. Read the previous edition here.

Beckham buys Malaga, players turn models

Struggling Spanish club Malaga’s Dubai owners have waved the white flag in their attempts to save the club from self-destructing. Or as it seems in this case, white underwear!

That should be enough of a hint for you guys to realise who we are talking about – famous footballer-turned-underwear model David Beckham who, the L.A. Times claim, is eyeing a majority stake in the club.

While Malaga fans would be happy to get rid of the current owners, who can make Scrooge look like Bill Gates, they would worry much more about their players.

After all, these players will no doubt be spending more time on Las Vegas runways as Calvin Klein models than as players on the football field.

Fergie confirms Pep talk

Sir Alex Ferguson seems to have taken a liking to our Daily Mumbles, going by his latest comments. He has confirmed his not-so-secret meeting with Pep Guardiola in New York, on his usual vacation during the international break.

But as the Mumble also reported, he rubbished any rumors of his imminent retirement with Guardiola replacing him. The United gaffer claims he met the ex-Barcelona coach only for a few minutes.

And unless the Scot had already resigned from his United post and was merely wishing his successor good luck , one can promply trash those rumors – where they belong – along with Beckham’s old CK shorts.

Shinji hurts back showing off his moves

New boy Shinji Kagawa has added to Manchester United‘s woes by injuring his back.

Reports flying in about the Japanese sensation claim he felt his back in training and thus pulled out of his country’s World Cup qualifier against Iraq.

We at the Mumble wonder whether he hurt his back showing off his moves on the pitch or was it actually off it, especially since his girlfriend is Ameri Ichinose!

Barton and his chimp talk

No human can match Joey Barton and his ridiculous behavior on the pitch. Except for a monkey, as the midfielder himself claims.

The ex-QPR captain, who was sent off on the final day of last season and subsequently banned for 12 matches, claims ‘the little chimp’ inside him took over, as he continues to struggle for an explanation that even comes close to describing his behavior on that day.

We at Mumble are only as confounded as you at this bizarre explanation. Maybe we need to stop dreaming about ‘Superman’ and instead concentrate on finishing our evolution from monkeys to humans!

City get ready to beg for pity

Manchester City‘s Middle Eastern owners might have given the club an air of invincibility, but it seems like UEFA is determined to prevent other clubs from choking up on it.

And the first step has been taken up in this regard as the European board has withdrawn payments to 23 clubs over the continent who failed to clear their dues to players and other clubs. The list includes the likes of Athletico Madrid, Malaga and Rubin Kazan and is a measure introduced as part of the Financial Fair Play plan.

Going by the firm moves of the UEFA, it surely wont be long before City give up on the balancing act with their finances and instead beg for mercy from UEFA.

Clubs are allowed only a €45 million ceiling on losses over 3 years from 2011-12 to 2013-14. And having already made losses of £197 and £121 million respectively in the last 2 years, City don’t seem to have much hope if UEFA decide to stick to their guns and will be getting ready to appeal to the board’s better nature.

Hapless Arsenal fans will thus probably get a chance to finally gloat at City, after becoming a virtual feeder club to the Citizens in recent seasons.