The Footy Mumble: Sneijder banned as Wenger weeps!

DISCLAIMER: You should realise its not a serious article when it starts with a piece on Joey Barton!

Barton in the news again…for the right reason!

Yes, you read it right. Barton is in the news again and this time its not for kicking, punch or biting anyone on or off the field, but for actually helping his team.

And no, its not by avoiding a red card for once, but for scoring a goal! Hard to believe, yes? But we’ve got video evidence for you!

Sergio Ramos the bullfighter!

Sergio Ramos has revealed that his childhood ambition was to be not a footballer but a bullfighter!

Talking to Spanish paper AS, he said, “I always wanted to be either a bullfighter or footballer but my mother was a little scared of me becoming a bullfighter. So I opted for football which was less dangerous.”

Not as dangerous? Felix Baumgartner tells us a different story from this GIF!

Lionel Messi’s week old son becomes club member

If you thought Messi was breaking record only on the football pitch, boy were you wrong! This obsession of records seems to be affecting Messi more than we like, as it seems he is now hell bent on breaking records of the pitch too.

Why else would he, or anyone else for that matter, make his 7 day old son a member of Newell’s Old Boys, his home town club, back in Argentina.

The infant has already been issued an official membership card (which he can’t read) and a replica kit (which he can’t wear!).

Arsene Wenger was reportedly seen weeping in the janitor’s room of the hospital, after missing out on yet another talent.

Sneijder banned from Twitter

Wesley Sneijder’s fondness for the social media is well known, what with all the tweets of his linking him to Manchester United again and again…and again…and again!

And if you were wondering why the Twitter silence, his wife Yolanthe has explained, via a tweet of course, that the silence is not out of choice but enforce, after Inter finally banned him from using it.

It seems the club have certain tweet rules which Sneijder ignored reportedly, and after several warnings, they were forced to ban him.

And tweet celebs have jumped at the opportunity to use this as a weapon to link him to an Inter exit, claiming that the club are trying their best to force him out of the club and get rid of his high wages.

Wanyama to United, Sagna for Arsenal exit?

And in today’s transfer news, Celtic‘s Victor Wanyama has been linked to Man United…yet again, and this time the Reds are linked with a £12 million bid for the midfielder.

The news comes just 2 days after Celtic’s famous win over Barcelona, so don’t go believing everything you read just yet.

And in somewhat more familiar news, yet another Arsenal player is embroiled in a contract wrangle with the club.

After Nasri (who left), Van Persie (who also left) and Theo Walcott (in the process of leaving), it is now the turn of Bacary Sagna.

Sagna has only recently returned to the first team after a long absence enforced by a broken leg. With his contract running out in 2014, Inter have been linked with a move for the player next summer.

Apparently Sagna wants an improvement on his £60,000 per week salary and a longer contract than Arsenal are ready to give him.

Expect a lengthy wrangle, culminating in a move, be it Inter or elsewhere, next summer.