After trawling through Google images and finding much kit-based entertainment, Simon Furnivall has finally whittled down his list of the worst football kits ever designed to a top ten. Here they are in all their glory.
The footballing world has been home to some dreadful kits over the years. Kits that players must have looked at and questioned whether their wage packet was really worth it, kits that fans laughed riotously at when asked to part with their hard-earned cash in exchange. A lively debate on twitter recently was the spark for this article, a countdown of what I believe to have been the ten worst kits ever designed. If you have alternative suggestions, please feel free to mention them in the comments section.
10. Bolton Wanderers – The Reebok YearsIt would be tough to single out just one of Reebok’s numerous disgraceful designs for Bolton. Perhaps they’re simply taking the piss, aware that the Lancashire club don’t have the fan base to actually make money off merchandising, maybe they’re legally blind, or perhaps they simply don’t care. Whatever the cause, there is a special place reserved in Hell for the designer of these monstrosities.
9. Coventry – 1970sI’m not sure quite when this kit was seen on the backs of reluctant Coventry players, but I’m sure it’s something they’ll never forget. I mean, how does something this catastrophically brown end up getting made?
8. Invisible United“The players couldn’t see each other.” One of the most infamous footballing excuses, and certainly worthy of inclusion in this list. Man United’s grey effort may well not have been remembered were it not for Alex Ferguson’s proclamation following the game that it was the kit to blame for their 6-3 defeat to Southampton.
7. Arsenal Away 1991Arsenal have had their fair share of terrible kits, but this one takes some beating. I mean why, just why?
6. Jorge CamposMexican goalkeeper Jorge Campos could have one of these lists dedicated entirely to his efforts. What makes them even more special are that Campos designed the kits himself. Shy and retiring, he was not.
5. Southport 1990sAgain a kit I am unsure of the exact date of, but it may stand to be Southport’s most important contribution to the world of football. It an era during which bad kits were found round every corner, this almost magic-eye style orange number was particularly shocking.
4. The Bird Poo KitNorwich City wore this proudly as they beat Bayern Munich in the early ’90s. For that it has something of a retro cool, but it still looks like a football kit covered in bird dirt. Not good.
3. Partick’s Pink CamouflageJust to prove that modern day kits can be just as bad as those of yesteryear, Partick Thistle came up with this horror for the 2009-10 season. Admittedly it’s hard to stand out as the third football club in Glasgow, but I’m not sure it’s the right sort of city to encourage your fans to wear this sort of kit either.
2. Stoke City 1992-93Currently Stoke are famous for Tony Pulis’ baseball cap, Rory Delap’s throw ins and changing the words of Delilah to something decidedly more dirty. Back in 1993, however, they managed to win promotion from the third tier of the game despite wearing this ridiculous purple number.
1. Celtic Away 1991-92There are simply no words for this level of horror. Celtic, hang thy heads in shame. The worst kit ever inflicted on football is, by several country miles, this woeful effort.
I’d like to thank everyone who submitted a suggestion for this list, there were some truly awful kits on show but some had to miss out. I’ve decided to list those that did in an honourable mentions section. If you have more suggestions for terrible kits, leave a comment below.
Honourable Mentions
Leeds Third Kit 1992
Hull Home Kit 1992
Atheltic Bilbao Ketchup Shirt
Sheffield Wednesday Goalkeeper Kit
Everton’s V-Neck
Scotland’s Salmon Pink
Chelsea 1995-96
Atlético Madrid Spiderman
You can follow Simon on twitter @SFurnivall.