Top ten Ian Holloway Quotes

Blackpool manager Ian Holloway has never been a very shy person. To say he was outspoken would be pushing things a bit too far. This past week, he accused the English FA of wanting to get Blackpool relegated, and even said, “On Sunday, we have to try and do the impossible. It’s got to be perfect. No one else has beaten them (Manchester United). And if we do, they might get fined because we are rubbish.” He has set the Premier League alight with his comments throughout the season. So, here, we list The tangerine boss’ top ten quotes till date. Enjoy, and read with a bit an open sense of humor.

Speak on, Sir!

10) “Sir David Beckham? You’re having a laugh. He’s just a good footballer with a famous bird. Can you imagine if Posh was called Lady Beckham? We’d never hear the end of it!” – Reacting to rumors that David Beckham might be knighted.

9) “I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose thats one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they’d have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin.” – On celebrations that see Footballers taking their shirts off.

8) “I’ve ridden a horse but I’m rubbish at it. I look like a crab sat on a horse with my hunched back. I’ve got rounded shoulders so I’m in all sorts of trouble and the bloody horse seems to know it as well! Many a time my wife’s seen me in excruciating agony when I’ve gone down instead of going up – let’s just say those bloody saddles are rather hard.” – On why he dislikes horses, and his inability to ride them.

7) “Why haven’t they got cameras? The officials can speak to each other easily enough now. Why aren’t we using laptops that are linked up and can give a decision in five seconds? A chimpanzee could do it – with not much training. We might as well go back to being cavemen, grab our girl by the hair, drag her into the cave whether she wants to come in or not because we may as well live in that age. We’ve come forward, haven’t we?” – Speaking about goal-line technology and the evolution of Homo-sapiens.

6) “To put it in gentleman’s terms if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She wasn’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee.” – On a physical and ugly win at Chesterfiel, while Managing Blackpool.

5) “When my wife first saw Marc for the first time, she said he was a fine specimen of a man. She says I have nothing to worry about, but I think she wants me to buy her a QPR shirt with his name on the back for Christmas.” – On QPR’s then new signing, striker Marc Nygaard.

4) “In the first-half we were like the Dog and Duck, in the second-half we were like Real Madrid. We can’t go on like that. At full-time I was at them like an irritated Jack Russell.” – On a Blackpool Game which was an affair of two halves.

3) “I love Blackpool. We’re very similar. We both look better in the dark.” On his move to Blackpool. And, er, their likeness…

2) “Every dog has its day, and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark!” – His exact words after securing promotion to the Championship .

1) “He’s six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster – That would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his c***’s massive.” – Describing Cristiano Ronaldo.

So there you have it! The top ten quotes of a truly colorful man! His words will genuinely be missed if Blackpool get relegated this season. Having said, Best of luck to him, and his Tangerine future.