Top 10 jokes on football players

Humour is a very funny thing (pardon the corny wordplay). Even in the most serious of situations, you can find something or the other to laugh at if you just look hard enough. Therefore, it isn’t at all surprising that the beautiful game has a funny side to it as well. And nowadays, the advent of social media has provided a platform for people to share these jokes all over. It has also led to people finding new ways to make people laugh, with football memes and even Twitter parody accounts becoming very common these days.

Here, I’ll take a look at 10 of the funniest jokes I’ve come across on the internet. Bear in mind the numbers aren’t a ranking, they’re just their for representative purposes:

1. Invincible – Stewart Downing made a big-money move to Liverpool in the summer of 2011 and his time at the club was an absolute disaster, to say the least. Due to his lack of contribution from open play (i.e. a lack of goals and assists) in his first season at the club, he was the butt of many jokes. The best one of those came when a picture of a DVD titled ‘Invincible’ was put on the net. Here’s the cover:

Invincible… or not. Whatever.

2. Fernando Torres‘s struggles since his move to Chelsea are well-known and he has been providing plenty of material for online jokers. Given the number of jokes you find on the misfiring Spaniard on a daily basis, it’s hard to pick one or two good jokes about him. But this one is particularly excellent:

What do Fernando Torres and a puzzle have in common?

A: Both fall to pieces when put in the box.

3. And so is this one:

Freddie Flintoff isn’t the first person to do a sport he’s not used to…

For instance, Fernando Torres has been having a go at football.

4. Another striker who gets trolled for his goal-shy ways is Emile Heskey. The former England international is arguably the most trolled footballer in the world and it’s hard to pick out one good joke about him (there are websites dedicated to Lord Heskey). However, this is one of the better ones:

Robert Green faced over 100 shots in training today without conceding a goal. Tomorrow, he and Heskey will train with the rest of the squad.

5. This one on Heskey, however, takes the cake:

It seems unfair that David Beckham is in the news because he played paralympic football for ten minutes to promote London 2012 whereas Emile Heskey has been playing paralympic football for 14 years and no one gives him any credit.

6. Sir Alex Ferguson was known for many things. Apart from being the most successful manager in Manchester United’s history, he was also known for his habit of pointing to his watch from time to time. Here’s one of the best ‘Fergie Time’ jokes:

Fergie Time!

7. Real-life football isn’t the only form of the game that gives us a few laughs. There are several jokes related to Football Manager and even the FIFA series. Here are two of the best ones:

My wife says she’s leaving me because of my obsession with Football Manager.

In my defence, I’ve got Dani Alves, Kompany, Vidic and Lahm.

8. And another:

My mum said she wanted to talk to me about my obsession with Football Manager.

However, I did not want to attend the meeting, so I sent my assistant instead.

9. John Terry is arguably one of the best English defenders of his generation; his personal life, however, leaves a lot to be desired. Nevertheless, his antics have resulted in him being the butt of many jokes, like this gem:

After Wayne Bridge refused to play for England while John Terry remains captain, fans are now urging JT to try it on with Emile Heskey’s wife.

10. And we end this with another barb at good ol’ Terry:

John Terry has retired from international football to spend more time with the wife……..He hasn’t decided whose yet. (credit goes to @FootyGags for that one).