Transfer gossip: Lot of hot air and very little substance

Reportedly, Thiago lost about 400,000 followers on Twitter the day he signalled his intention to re-unite with former coach Pep Guardiola at Bayern Munich, while Cesc Fabregas found 800,000 new followers when he woke up to the news that Man United had made a bid for him. The desperation in those fans for a world class midfielder is palpable; David Moyes and Ed Woodward are you listening?

And, if you are someone who’s been paying close attention to the transfer window, you would just be astounded at the amount of information in the hands of janitors, nurses, doctors and airport attendants who seemingly tip off reporters that they’ve just seen Cristiano Ronaldo arrive at Manchester airport via a private jet, Wayne Rooney with Jose Mourinho in a cafe, Eden Hazard doing the rounds of London and visiting a public toilet while at it.

The common joke going around a few weeks ago was that according to latest reports, Strootman has undergone so many medical tests at United, that he’s now a qualified doctor!

After being chased by Arsenal for much of the summer, Higuain looks to be heading to Napoli

Meanwhile in North London, ‘Le Professeur’ Arsene Wenger has been the talk of the town for the “war chest” that he has been handed by the Arsenal board to fill the squad with some quality players. No day is complete without at least two reports on how Arsenal have come close to signing Gonzalo Higuain from Real Madrid (who, if today morning’s dope is to be believed, is on the way to Napoli; hard luck Arsenal fans) while also courting Luis Suarez of Liverpool with Champions League football.

The main actors in this drama are always the players, figuratively and literally. The range of emotions that they go through outshines that of most soap opera and movie stars. Rooney has been left “angry and confused” after manager Moyes’s comments, while last year, Cristiano Ronaldo was “sad” at Madrid. Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who moved from AC Milan to PSG in the summer of 2012 on a salary of £11 million-a-year, claimed to “miss his freebies” from Italy.

That is the crazy, mad world of the football transfer window; propelled by fantasy football, dearth of stories in other spheres, hero worship and ‘insider’ info; filled with lots of hot air and very little substance.

So if you can keep your head above water for the most part, and enjoy the rumour mill while making judicious use of the information that comes hurtling down, you should be in a good place. Just make sure not to get too high on the transfer dope though!