What goes on inside a streaker's mind?

LONDON, ENGLAND – APRIL 28: A streaker is led away during the Babcock Trophy match between the Army and the Navy at Twickenham Stadium on April 28, 2012 in London, England.

Kick Off — Look at the fans chanting. It’s a fine day for streaking people. I’m going to do it. NOW or NEVER!

0:16 — I’m going to just take off my shirt first and nobody will get the hint. Good lord, it’s freezing. NO. If I have to become a legend, I’ll have to face the consequences. Why the hell is this dude next to me looking at me like that? Weirdo, haven’t you seen a streaker before?

0:33 — Oh damn, no security at my section. THIS IS IT!!!

0:40 — Where’s my pitcher? Oh yes, found it! Let me finish this pitcher of beer first!

0:47 — Let’s do this.

0:51 – This dude is still looking at me. I’m going to punch him and then run on to the pitch.

0:53 — Bam! Hahaha! He’s knocked out cold and I’m doing it! I’M ON THE PITCH! I’M A STREAKER! YES! I DID IT! I HAVE ACHIEVED GREATNESS!

0:54 — MY PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD!

0:55 — How in the hell am I running so fast? Usain Bolt got nothing on me.

0:58 — Oh damn! Security on the right. Cops are behind me. Oh hell, they’re all over the pitch. They are acting as if I’m a terrorist or something. I’m naked. Look, no bombs! Just a legend.

1:01 — Ok, time to pump up and run faster. Oh hell yeah, totally broke the ankles of the fat cop. The crowd is behind me now!

1:04 — Burn. Dude, totally got this security staff. But I’m feeling a little tired now. I’m slowing down too. What the….

1:06 — Wait, am I too drunk or is Rooney running towards me? Closing really really fast.

1:08 — Going to Yaya Toure, away from this Rooney fellow big time. COME AT ME, BUGGER! Oh! Oh god! My legs have given up! Hell!

1:11 — Run Forest Run! You’re gonna be on YouTube being chased by best striker in the world. Rooney. Come on!

1:14 — Come on, you can do this. You have to – oh shit, no exits here. Cut me some slack God. This is awful. They’re going to take me down. And it’s cold…it’s gonna hurt like crazy!

1:17 — Oh, no! No! Spasms! I’m having back spasms! Wait, What? Rooney just Cantona’d me on my back. This hurts like…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

1:20 — Hey fat cop, get off me ok? You’re gonna kill me! Don’t sit on me. GET OFF ME FATSO!

1:28 — Oh no! I think I just pooped. It smells awful. Take that cops and security people. OH HELL NO! HANDCUFFS? WHAT FOR!

1:35 — HAHAHA! Listen to the crowd. They are behind me. They love me. One of them will get me out of the jail tomorrow morning. I”M A LEGEND! MY DREAM CAME TRUE AT THEATER OF DREAMS!

1:40 — I can’t wait to watch myself on YouTube tomorrow. F*** off you bunch of fat cops.

1:43 – Oww. a punch in the face!! Glad I’m drunk or this would have hurt really badly. AND PERSIE SCORES. *OHHHH ROBIN VAN PERSIE! OH ROBIN VAN PERSIE!* owww, another punch to the stomach.

Quick Links

Edited by Staff Editor
Sportskeeda logo
Close menu
WWE
WWE
NBA
NBA
NFL
NFL
MMA
MMA
Tennis
Tennis
NHL
NHL
Golf
Golf
MLB
MLB
Soccer
Soccer
F1
F1
WNBA
WNBA
More
More
bell-icon Manage notifications