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Many of us yearn to connect with others, but attachment issues occasionally get in the way. It can be challenging to build a sense of trust and security in your relationships, feel close to loved ones, or open up about your emotions if you have attachment issues.
Early childhood is when attachment issues typically emerge, but if you don't actively work to resolve them, their effects may persist throughout your entire life. Fortunately, it's possible to deal with your attachment issues and develop healthy relationships with those around you.
Recognizing the issue is the first step. Understanding what attachment issues are and how they manifest will help you determine whether or not they affect your relationship.
Meaning of attachment issues
An individual with an attachment issue struggles to establish emotionally strong attachments and healthy relationships with others. Early childhood is often when attachment problems start. Infants need to get adequate attention from parents and caregivers, as well as have their needs met, to have a healthy attachment pattern.
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An insecure attachment style can result from irregular or uneven attention from family members and caregivers. Future social interactions may suffer as a result of attachment issues, which can also result in personality disorders and issues with self-esteem.
Insecure attachment styles generally fall into one of three categories:
1) Ambivalent attachment
Overly dependent individuals have attachment security anxiety, also referred to as ambivalent attachment.
Due to their low self-esteem, they're unable to fully trust themselves or their spouse, which causes them to experience separation anxiety and persistent worry about both secure connection and loss of attachment.
2) Avoidant attachment
Individuals who have this attachment avoid emotional vulnerability and perceive intimacy as a flaw. Those with this attachment-related problem won't depend on others, but they will anticipate others depending on them, which will lead to an unbalanced connection.
3) Disorganized
When parents behave unpredictably or inconsistently, a disorganized attachment style may result.
If your upbringing was dysfunctional or disorderly, you might not have observed any patterns or laws that influenced your education or behavior. As a result, you might find it difficult to maintain a constant perspective on your relationships as you become older.
Signs to identify attachment Issues
It's not easy to identify issues with attachments, but once you do, it's easier to build a healthy relationship by overcoming them:
1) Trouble keeping eye contact
The inability to make eye contact may be a sign of uneasiness with oneself and others. Eye contact conveys security and trust. While growing up, one of the earliest connections we make is eye contact. Individuals who lack this safety tend to have trouble maintaining eye contact.
2) Impulsive actions
Abnormal behavior is one indication of attachment issues. Individuals who desire to get close to someone may form rapid attachments with them but later distance themselves if they believe their relationship is not fulfilling their needs.
Moreover, behavior may have a tendency towards aggressiveness, drug misuse and mood swings.
3) Failure to establish mature connections
As an adult, it might be difficult for someone to establish social attachments due to anxious attachment patterns, which can have an effect on friendships and sexual relationships.
4) You dislike being reliant on others
People with avoidant attachment styles frequently have a strong desire for independence. You think independence is the most crucial trait, as you feel you can't depend on anyone but yourself.
Although it's wonderful to be able to take care of yourself, everyone occasionally needs support. When you perceive asking for or receiving aid from others as a show of weakness, your attachment issues may make it difficult for you to do so.
5) Active avoidance
If you struggle with attachment, you might fear and seek closeness at the same time. You'd rather not allow someone to get close enough to upset you, as you don't want to have to deal with abandonment.
You can react by withdrawing and closing down when someone starts to bond with you on a profound, emotional level. You choose to maintain a distance, as you don't want to take the chance of opening out to them.
Attachment issues in adults
When a specific study was performed, it was shown that children who were raised in a secure attachment setting were happier to see their mothers when they arrived to pick them up from the research center than children who were insecurely attached.
The attachment was causing undesirable emotions in children and eventually became the main contributor to their problems with adult attachment issues.
Adults with attachment issues are typically treated with psychotherapy or talk therapy, in which the patient and the therapist work through concerns to move past the past and create a new future. For healing to take place properly, it's also made sure that the patient and therapist build a bond and a foundation of trust.
The better the outcome of treatment, the earlier you recognize the signs of adult attachment. It's best to consult a psychotherapist as soon as possible before this problem complicates problems for you and your family. If you've previously tried talking to someone you love or trust, it's time to schedule an appointment or pay them a visit.
If attachment issues in a child are not properly treated, the symptoms may persist into adulthood and cause problems with relationships and social interactions.
Anyone who was subjected to abuse or neglect as a child should think about consulting a physician or psychotherapist, especially if they believe that the problem is impacting their interpersonal connections.
Personal connections and overall quality of life can suffer as a result of attachment issues. Nonetheless, therapy can be useful. A person who seeks psychotherapy can recognize and comprehend thoughts and behaviors that can be hurting their relationships. Once these concerns around attachment issues have been addressed, a person can create effective tools and coping mechanisms.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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