Do you cry when angry? : learn ways to regulate your emotions

Ever been in a heated argument and found yourself cry when angry? Many therapists observe how anger frequently conceals undermined sentiments. In fact, the hurt that your anger hides increases the more intense it is.

The limbic system, the area of the brain that controls emotion and stores our long- and short-term memories, sends the signal to cry emotional tears. The most obvious emotion that causes people to cry is sadness. But anger is a factor for more than half of us.

How does the wrath turn into tears? why do you cry when angry? (Image via Pexels/ Jan)

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Why do you cry when angry?

Anger Iceberg (Image via Amazon/ Book Toucan)

Anger Iceberg stands for the notion that, even while anger is manifested externally, other emotions may be concealed internally. These additional emotions, such as grief, fear, or guilt, could make someone feel vulnerable or they might not have the tools to appropriately manage them.

The main cause of enraged tears is usually related to the intense feelings that underlie the anger, such as being hurt, humiliated, betrayed, or feeling unfairly treated, to mention a few. According to the proverb, anger is a reaction to a feeling rather than a feeling itself.

Intense irritation can develop when we go through these terrible experiences, where we feel like we can't express ourselves, be heard, or make our point, or when we feel unfairly blamed for anything, and that's when the tears start to flow or you cry when angry because we feel so helpless.

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How to stop crying when angry?

Are there any ways to cope with this feeling and deal when we cry when angry? (Image via Pexels/ Karolina)

Fortunately, it's entirely possible to be more controlled at specific times. Don't go turning into a robot, however, how alluring it can be to avoid crying at all costs. Suppression of our feelings won't work because we can't simply switch them off. Here are a few ways that can help you not cry when angry or manage your anger temporarily:

1) Disconnect

One option is to pause and take a step back. This can be especially useful in work or public settings when you can spend some time in the restroom or your car.

Try relaxing your body and mind by taking a few deep, quiet breaths during this break. You can do miracles by drinking ice-cold water; it will keep you physically and mentally cool. In essence, by pausing the scenario, you'll give yourself the room you need to collect your thoughts before picking up the dialog again.

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2) Write it down

Express and write down what you are going through. Cry when angry but dont let it overwhelm you. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

In other situations, you can try writing down three or four points, try journalling what you wish to communicate in advance if you expect to enter a contentious conversation and anticipate angry tears.

After all, crying out in anger can make you feel anxious in social situations, which could make you forget what you're trying to say. However, by creating a few talking points, you'll have something to fall back on if your composure falters.

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3) Look for an explanation

We begin to cry when an emotion surprises us or when we haven't yet expressed our sentiments. The best remedy is to start processing and expressing emotions more openly on a regular basis. Stop shoving things down, hold them in, and act like they don't exist.

Safe spaces are the ideal starting point. If you begin expressing and releasing your emotions in comfortable and secure settings, they won't have to deal with them when they are unexpected or when it is inconvenient to break down in tears when you are upset.

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It might be frustrating to cry when you're upset or frustrated, as you might have imagined. So the next time you're in that mental state, try to notice any of those warning signs and work on your ability to process and express all of the complex emotions that might be on the horizon for you.

Additionally, therapy is always an option if you feel like you need more support in learning to regulate when you cry when angry.

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Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.

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