The traits of a narcissist can often be bothersome. Individuals with these traits have an excessive need for attention, often lack empathy for others, and strive for grandiosity. Basically, they prefer to have all eyes on them and no one else. Narcissistic traits lie on a continuum and their behaviors can vary from person to person. However, their behaviors often serve a common goal: to enhance their self-esteem and potentially manipulate others.
We often use the term too loosely and label anyone with an elevated sense of self as a narcissist. It is also important to differentiate someone with narcissistic traits from someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. The latter grapple with mental health issues and can notice severe disruptions in their everyday lives.
Identifying 12 traits of a narcissist
The traits of a narcissist can often be difficult to deal with and contribute negatively to relationships. Since the traits are so self-encompassing, it can be difficult for you to navigate through the relationship. While it is common to talk about narcissism in the context of romantic relationships, it can exist anywhere. You can have a narcissistic boss, a family member, or even a friend.
Here are 12 traits of a narcissist:
1.Self-importance
One of the primary traits of a narcissist is that they believe in their superiority. They believe that they deserve the best and nothing less in return. They may expect special treatment and be preoccupied with gaining power.
2. Low regard for rules
Since narcissists believe that they deserve special treatment, they consider that rules are beneath them. They may skip a queue, order around, seek immediate gratification, and order people around.
3. Lack of empathy
The hallmark feature of narcissistic personality disorder is that they don't experience empathy or at least experience a severe lack of understanding. Since they are so engrossed in their own experience, empathy becomes impossible.
4. Manipulation
Gaslighting is a primary form of manipulation used by narcissists against their victims. They make you question your sense of reality and what you believe is true.
5. Rage
They are also likely to snap at others, especially significant others if their demands are not met. They may lash out at you, call you names, or even insult you in a public setting.
6. Egocentrism
The world should revolve around a narcissist. We are just puppets in the eyes of a narcissistic individual. For instance, after placing an order in the restaurant, they may not be able to wait for much time before complaining.
7. Low sense of responsibility
Unfortunately, someone with a narcissistic personality has a low sense of responsibility and accountability for their actions. Even if they hurt someone, they don't feel accountable to helping the other person out.
8. Extreme criticism
Extreme criticism is also one of the most common manipulative traits of a narcissist. When their demands are not met, they often lash out with harsh words. They may say bitter things to make you feel guilty about things that you have not done.
9. Silent treatment
Narcissists can shut you out completely if you try to question their decisions. Unfortunately, narcissists are experts at silent treatment. They try to rob you of your attention and validation.
10. Disrespect for boundaries
It can be a challenge to establish boundaries with someone with narcissism. Since they value only themselves, they can stomp over your boundaries and pretend that they did nothing.
11. Sabotage other relationships
Other traits of a narcissist include stopping you from reaching out to your loved ones. They may place restrictions on you and threaten you with abandonment. In a way, they try to sabotage your relationships.
12. Emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail is a common technique for exerting control and power over you. At any sign of abandonment from your side, a narcissist is likely to lay out a plan for emotional blackmail.
By identifying the traits of a narcissist, you can move towards self-awareness. Additionally, if you know or live with someone with narcissism, you can learn to establish boundaries, protect your mental health, and find resources.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.