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Living with a narcissist is not easy. A lot of times, you may realize that you are in a toxic relationship only after you have lived with them for some time. A narcissist is someone who displays heightened love and admiration for themselves.
They may go about controlling everyone around them to the point where it turns into abuse. However, deep down, they generally feel very insecure about themselves and their identity.
If you find yourself living with a narcissist, you know that it is not easy. You may have also contemplated leaving the relationship. Not everyone leaves but that doesn't mean they have to continually suffer. With the right tips, you can find some space and calm yourself in a toxic relationship.
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12 survival tips for living with a narcissist
The painful reality for most individuals on the narcissism spectrum is that they lack the empathy required to sustain a healthy relationship. A lot of us end up in this space where we hope, even if we know it's not possible, that the narcissist will finally wake up.
Unfortunately, since narcissism is a personality trait, it can't change overnight, even if you wish it could be. Here are 12 tips that can help you live with a narcissist:
1. Be aware of your contribution
If you choose to stay, it is important to think about how much you are giving to the relationship. If a person lacks empathy and they are not actively working to resolve that, no amount of work on your end will change that.
2. Be realistic
When living with a narcissist, it is important to keep your expectations realistic. They will not go all the way out for you, even if you want them to.
3. Draw boundaries
This can't be emphasized enough, but boundaries protect you from further harm and hurt. There is no end to the games an individual with narcissistic traits plays.
4. Seek help for yourself
They may stop you from reaching out or seeking help from others. You may be even motivated to seek help for your partner. Keep in mind that your recovery is for you. They're unable to see their role in your pain, and no amount of good communication can change that.
5. Safety circle
Make a note of people, things, and places you can reach out for help. Always keep significant others in the loop.
6. Make self-care a priority
When you find yourself in a draining relationship, it is vital to prioritize self-care. Try to engage in experiences that make you feel happy and safe.
7. Educate yourself
An individual displaying traits of grandiosity and high egocentrism may be at risk of developing Narcissistic Personality Disorder. By educating yourself, you empower yourself.
8. Don't fall for gaslighting
An individual with narcissistic personality traits likes to engage in gaslighting. They may challenge your sense of reality and make you question your own belief system.
9. Remain alert
Always keep an eye out for thoughts and behaviors that put your health at risk. There is nothing more important than that.
10. Take a time-out
Living with a narcissistic partner can be draining, both physically and emotionally. Try to take some time out and reflect on what changes you would like to bring into the relationship.
11. Seek therapy
While seeking professional help is optional, it can go a long way toward protecting your well-being. They can be your soundboard, help you build resilience, and regulate your emotions.
12. Make a choice
The last tip is to remember that you will always have the option to leave. It can be extremely difficult to leave an unfulfilling relationship, but staying in one ensures that you remain unfulfilled.
There are many things you can do while living with a narcissist, but you will always have the option to choose yourself. It can be scary to do everything alone but you are not alone. Try to take care of yourself starting today!
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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