The perfectionism-anxiety link: Striving for flawlessness?

Do perfectionism and anxiety go hand in hand? What is their connection? Perfectionism is a personality trait or a pattern of behavior in which you strive for becoming the best and towards the highest possible standards.

We're talking about moving towards a possible version of ourselves that's admirable and stands out from the rest. Why is it then we are drawing a connection to anxiety?

Anxiety is a typical response we experience on an everyday basis. However, its link to perfectionism especially makes a frightful combo. Both combined can severely impact the quality of life.

They can keep you in a space of uncertainty and worry. However, by identifying and understanding the link between these two, you can learn to break free one day at a time.

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Perfectionism anxiety: The messy connection

It's not easy to constantly strive towards excellence when anxiety creeps in. (Image via Freepik)

The anxious perfectionist is a broad term to describe someone who's struggling with both anxiety and perfectionism.

There are many underlying causes of anxiety, and one of the primary ones is perfectionism. If you're someone who has always looked at being perfect, you know that while people may look up to you and appreciate you, there's also a wave of underlying fear. Perfectionism affects mental health.

The apprehensions of not being able to meet your standards can always keep you in on your guard and make you feel anxious. The reasons for that can vary, but a lot of times, it stems from childhood parents. Did you have strict parents while growing up? Do you believe that if you don't achieve a particular standard, you're a failure?

This pressure can build up over time, and even if you're able to reach a particular standard, the anxiety continues to grow with you. That can also create a very distressing and vicious cycle. Every time you're able to meet a standard, it evolves to something higher. The standard increases and so does your anxiety.

So, is anxiety the consequence or cause of perfectionism? This is a tricky question to answer. Often maladaptive perfectionism has been seem as a core symptoms of certain anxiety conditions, like generalized anxiety disorder and personality disorders like, obesessive compulsive personality disorder.

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Is there a treatment for perfectionism?

Striving hard is important, but not at the cost of mental health. (Image via Freepik)

Before treatment begins, it's important to reflect on your thought patterns and emotions. Treatment works only when you recognize that you're experiencing a problem due to your perfectionist cycle.

Generally, a mental health professional will first allow you to define the areas where you might be displaying perfectionist thought patterns and behaviors. After that, they will help you in recognizing the differences between maladaptive perfectionist behavior and striving for excellence. Finally, they will help you in gauging whether you feel it's important or not to change these patterns.

Addressing these two concerns can be a complex process. It may include a blend of tools and therapeutic modalities like cognitive-behavioral therapy. This will help you identify any irrational thoughts.

An irrational thought can sound like "I am only a good person, if I am perfect". A more realistic and compassionate alternative of this thought can be: "Doing well is important, but it does not determine if I am a good or bad person."

While CBT targets your thoughts, we also need something for the body to relax and calm down when feeling anxious. Modalities like breathing techniques and mindfulness paractices can help you feel more grounded and present-oriented.

These strategies for perfectionist tendencies inform the body that you don't have to feel so anxious while dealing with imperfections.

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Even though perfectionism is admired by the society, at the end of the day, it's a social construct. That also means it looks great in theory.

Yes, there are many instances where reaching your standards can be important. At that point, try to strive towards excellence, but don't be driven by perfectionism. You will learn to recognize the difference when your worth is not dependent on meeting those standards.

There's a fact that we tend to forget: we're imperfect beings. Embracing this fact stops us from falling into the perfectionist-anxiety trap. If you or someone around you is stuck in this vicious cycle, it might not be an easy decision to work on perfectionism. However, if you decide to do so, mental health professionals are ever ready to support you.

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Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.

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