What is demisexuality? Understanding the term

How the emotional bond is linked to the physical bond between individuals (Image via Vecteezy)

In modern times, the understanding of love and attraction is expanding and encompassing a broader spectrum instead of being limited to strict classifications. In recent times, the use of the term "demisexual" is becoming more common.

But what exactly does it mean to be "demisexual" and how is it different from our usual understanding of attraction?

What It Means to Be Demisexual

Emotional bond is important over physical attraction (Image via Vecteezy)

Demisexuals are not all about looks; they need that strong emotional connection first. This does not mean they do not dig physical attraction, but that they prioritize mental connection before physical compatibility. Demisexuals sit somewhere on the asexuality scale, which means people experience sexual attraction in a ton of different ways, or sometimes not at all.

Sometimes, people feeling this way might have felt out of place because their way of connecting and initiating intimacy was different. But now, with an increasing understanding of how attraction works and varies from person to person, demisexuality is seen as a valid and common way of approaching attraction.

Breaking Down Asexuality and Demisexuality

In asexuality, people are not sexually attracted to each other (Image via Vecteezy)

Asexuality is a broad zone where people might not feel sexually attracted to others, no matter their gender. Within this, people can feel physical attraction in different ways – or not at all. Being "Ace" means you generally do not feel sexual attraction at all. Demisexuals, though, might find someone sexually attractive, but only after they have bonded emotionally with that person.

There are some misconceptions about demisexuality out there. Such as the assumption that Demisexuals decide not to get down unless they are majorly in love, or being super picky. But it is not about choice. It is about how some people naturally experience attraction – through that emotional connection.

For those who identify with this, figuring out their sexual orientation can be confusing. They often find themselves breaking it down for potential partners, explaining why that emotional bond needs to come first before they feel that spark. Being open about this can lead to stronger, deeper connections.

Understanding the Whole Demisexuality Thing

There are social groups and communities with tons of support (Image via Vecteezy)

Recognizing demisexuality and all the other ways people experience attraction helps us all get a better handle on the human heart. It shows us that not everyone connects in the same way, and that is cool.

For people diving into their sexual orientation, or their loved ones trying to get it, there is help and info out there. Groups like The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) are one of the several support communities for asexual and demisexual people. You can find forums, social groups, and tons of resources online too.

Learning about demisexuality highlights the value of emotional connections for some people before they feel physically attracted to others. Embracing this and all forms of attraction helps create a more compassionate world. Whether you are demisexual, asexual, or have a different experience, it's all valid. Our unique ways of experiencing attraction make us who we are.

Edited by Shirsh