15 Funny Valentine's quotes to make your loved one laugh in love

Funny Valentine's Day quotes are the ones that hit the sweet spot for a peal of shared laughter between you and your loved one, a perfect way to celebrate Valentine’s Day with humor.

February 14 is right around the corner. It’s high time to arm oneself with the right words to make your loved one feel cherished, and what better way to give them this love season than by giving them the gift of laughter through funny Valentine's quotes?

To bring some shared laughter to the season of love, we’ve compiled a list of short funny Valentine quotes and Valentine's Day quotes to help lighten things up and make loved ones laugh. These hilarious quotes about love, romance, relationships, and marriage are guaranteed to brighten their day.

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Funny Valentine's quotes for loved ones

1. “The thing about Valentine’s Day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of.” — Faye Morgan

2. “Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you are alone.” — Lewis Black

3. “Whatever you may look, marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” — Phyllis Diller

4. “Can officially confirm that the way to a man’s heart these days is not through beauty, food, or s**, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.” — Bridget Jones Diary

5. “Marriage is a lot like the army. Everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlist.” — James Garner

6. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” — Agatha Christie

7. “No, love is hiding who you really are at all times, even when you’re sleeping. Love is wearing makeup to bed and going downstairs to the Burger King to poop, and hiding alcohol in expensive perfume bottles. That’s love.” — 30 Rock

8. “As a man in a relationship, you have to choose one of the two. You can either be right or be happy.” — Raphie May

9. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner

10. “Remember, your Valentine’s Day card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.” — Melanie White

11. “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby—awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” — Lemony Snicket

12. “If you’re alone during Valentine’s Day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise, you would spend a few hundred [dollars].” — Unknown

13. “I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When you think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.” — Unknown

14. “Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you. After marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” — Helen Rowland

15. “ By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” — Socrates

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These are 15 funny Valentine's Day quotes to give your loved one a little laugh. If your boyfriend or girlfriend prefers to celebrate with humor instead of mushy Valentine’s Day messages, send them these funny Valentine's Day quotes via text, email, or print. Better yet, write them on an old-school Valentine’s Day card.