BEST FIFA Awards 2017 Live - Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi, who will be BEST FIFA Mens Player of the Year?

That is that, a quick wrap to a well-oiled function that did what it was supposed to... made us smile, gave Cristiano Ronaldo an award and showed us a superstar in a hideous burgundy/plum/carmine suit... all hosted by the ever wonderful Idris Elba.

Lovely stuff. Thanks for joining us!

Anirudh Menon signing out...

Toodle-ooo!

Oh and he thanked "Leo" and Neymar for being there... of course he's happy to see them there!

OF COURSE IT WAS HIM. WHAT A BOSS. WHAT A LEGEND... that's his second consecutive BEST FIFA Men's player of the year award

CRISTIANO RONALDOOOOOOOOOO!

And the winner is....

THE AWARD FOR THE BEST FIFA MEN'S PLAYER OF THE YEAR which will be presented by the LEGENDS that are Ronaldo and Diego Armando Maradona!

AND NOW. THE BIG ONE!

Congratulations, #LiekeMartens! 💪
Winner of #TheBest FIFA Women's Player 2017 🏆 pic.twitter.com/aKaTXHuQnz
— #FIFAWWC 🇫🇷 (@FIFAWWC) October 23, 2017

LIEKE MARTENS OF THE NETHERLANDS!

NOW! THE QUEEN OF FOOTBALL! The prize for the Best FIFA Women's Player of the Year..... and the winner is.....

A little bit of a break as the Kasabian take to the stage... you can almost read Ronaldo's mind here... OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD GET ON WITH IT AND GIMME MY PRECIOUUUUUUUUUUSSS

Strenght, sacrifice and not getting tired of winning... trust Sergio Ramos to come up with the best quote of the night to describe what his secret to making it 7 consecutive times into the FIFPRO XI!

Your FIFA FIFPro #World11 for 2017 🙌#TheBest pic.twitter.com/h8gNrTpMiX
— #TheBest 🏆 (@FIFAcom) October 23, 2017

How in the blue hell does Andres Iniesta make that list after playing for only like half the season?

The FIFA FIFPRO WORLD XI up next... David Suazo and Frankie Lampard are out to call out the names for the Ultimate Dream Team, chosen by fellow professionals...

GK: Gigi Buffon

RB: Dani Alves
CB: Sergio Ramos
CB: Leo Bonucci
LB: Marcelo

CM: Toni Kroos
CM: Luka Modric
CM; Andres Iniest

RF: Lionel Messi
CF: Neymar
LF: Cristiano Ronaldo

Congratulations, 🇹🇬Francis Kone! 👏
Winner of The FIFA Fair Play Award 2017 🏆#TheBest pic.twitter.com/2sre73H4sQ
— #TheBest 🏆 (@FIFAcom) October 23, 2017

Francis Kone who pulled out the tongue from the stricken opposition keeper's mouth... and his swift intervention ensured that his opponent lived to tell the tale!

Next up, the BEST FIFA Award for Fairplay - and what a pairing to present it Marcel Desailly and Sir Patrick Stewart!

*deep breaths* anyway, the winner is...

Congratulations, 🇳🇱Sarina Wiegman! 👏
Winner of the #TheBest FIFA Women's Coach 2017 🏆 pic.twitter.com/Kjv3gK5ugF
— #FIFAWWC 🇫🇷 (@FIFAWWC) October 23, 2017

SARINA WEIGMAN! OF NETHERLANDS, WINNERS OF EURO 2017!

Alex Scott and Ruud Gullit have walked out to award the prize for the BEST FIFA Women's Coach and the winner is...

Congratulations, Celtic! 🍀
Winners of the FIFA Fan Award 2017 🏆 #TheBest pic.twitter.com/ptGJtKU3PQ
— #TheBest 🏆 (@FIFAcom) October 23, 2017

CELTIC FC fans for their stupendous 360-degree tifo for their legendary 1967 Lisbon Lions who won the Champions League against all odds, with a collection of players who were all born within a 30-mile radius of Hampden Park.

What a story.

What a tribute.

Samuel Eto'o walks out, after some A-class banter from Idris Elba and Samuel Eto'o is all set to announce the winner of the BEST FIFA Fans Award...

A superb moment there as Schmeichel and Buffon hug before Buffon states to ever-louder applause that he wants to speak in English... and he delivers one of the most endearing acceptance speeches you will ever hear at an awards ceremony.

How can you not love this man?

FORZA GIGI!

Congratulations, 🇮🇹Gianluigi Buffon! 👐
Winner of #TheBest FIFA Goalkeeper 2017 🏆 pic.twitter.com/GfWChRvEn2
— #TheBest 🏆 (@FIFAcom) October 23, 2017

GIANLUIGI BUFFON! GIGIIIIIIII!

OOO LA LA LA! Peter Schmeichel walks out to great applause to hand over the award to one of Gianluigi Buffon, Keylor Navas, and Manuel Neuer. And the award goes to....

Congratulations, 🇫🇷Zinedine Zidane! 🎉
Winner of #TheBest FIFA Men's Coach 2017 🏆 pic.twitter.com/fHTc3R1Q76
— #TheBest 🏆 (@FIFAcom) October 23, 2017

AND THE WINNER IS ZIZOUUUUUUUUUUU!

WOOT WOOT! The charming Claudio Ranieri has walked out to present the BEST FIFA Men's Coach of the Year! Allegri, Zidane or Conte... who will win it?

Congratulations, 🇫🇷@_OlivierGiroud_! 💪
The Frenchman’s scorpion kick wins the FIFA #Puskás Award 2017 🦂💥#TheBest pic.twitter.com/xA69neDfoO
— #TheBest 🏆 (@FIFAcom) October 23, 2017

OLIVIER GIROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!

The Frenchman walks away with the 2017 PUSKAS Award for that absolute belter he scored against Crystal Palace

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Diego Forlan come on stage, Ms. Zeta-Jones still looks as stunning as the day she wowed us all in Zorro, and the winner of the 2017 PUSKAS Award is...

The first award up for grabs is the BEST FIFA Puskas Award... named, of course, after the great Hungarian goalscorer-extraordinaire Ferenc Puskas

Idris Elba is the boss isn't he - fanboying his way around Messrs. Maradona, Ronaldo, Neymar, Leo, and Cristiano - taking selfies with the latter three - and he's giving this event a fun air it never had last year!

Love how he's taken the seriousness out of the occasion and reminded us all what award celebrations are meant for - fun!

Some funky tap-dancing, garbage-can-drumming, football-bouncing, garbage-bag-waving "music" and "dance" has heralded the introduction of the utterly magnificent Idris Elba! WOOT WOOT!

May the entertainment begin

Fair point, this.

Still can't get over Fifa calling these awards "The Best Awards", it's like something a toddler would come up with
— Michael Cox (@Zonal_Marking) October 23, 2017

How can you hate this man.... how can you not love the pure elegance of Andres Iniesta, eh?

Having said that, he probably doesn't deserve to be on the BEST XI for last season, though

Ready! #TheBestFIFA pic.twitter.com/M7cQTbMc3a
— Andrés Iniesta (@andresiniesta8) October 23, 2017

See what I mean by a regular suit?

Lionel Messi arrives at the London Palladium for The Best awards. 🐐 pic.twitter.com/0Vl5j0XPZU
— Squawka News (@SquawkaNews) October 23, 2017

My man Amit Mishra has done his research and has come to me with an answer. Neymar is clad in an all-carmine suite, apparently. Colourful, to say the least... both Mishra and Neymar

THE Man has arrived. Cristiano Ronaldo has swaggered in with a classy as hell three-piece that looks like it was sculpted onto his body. WOOF!

Neymar has walked in.... and he has made up for his great friend Messi's conservatism. His suit's a wonderful shade of burgundy/purple... ok, I'm not really good with colours, ok. It's the same shade as the one Messi wore to one of his Ballon d'Or award ceremonies.

LIONEL MESSI HAS ARRIVED! AND HE IS WEARING A DECENT, REGULAR, SHARP, BLACK SUIT! Where's the flamboyance, Leo? Where are the colours!!!

FIFA, though, is getting quite a lot of flak for the Women's Player of the Nominees... Deyna Castellanos, as talented as she is, not even a full professional yet and got nominated for what she did in the U-17 World Cup... can you imagine one of Lincoln or Abel Ruiz making it to the top 3 for the men? You can't? Then you see the problem.

FIFA, of course, issued a typically PR-y response - “The process is clear and transparent and we are not involved in the final selection of nominees,” FIFA said in a statement. “However, we have taken note of the concerns raised by the football community and our fans and will take this feedback on board in future editions of The Best Awards.” - but really, there simply is no arguing for FIFA on this one.

Old friends are Best! @FIFAcom #FifaAwards #London ⚽️🏆⚽️ pic.twitter.com/Jo1UUQtsTc
— Ian Rush MBE (@Ian_Rush9) October 23, 2017

The Original has come in and put in his name in the hat for his namesake... THE Ronaldo is quietly confident that Cristiano will walk away with the award.

He's signing footballs for an excited bunch of kids, while Granit Xhaka and Ruud Gullit have found a bunch of Arsenal and Chelsea fans who are going giddy at the prospect of them signing their jerseys.

The stars are arriving! Last year's manager of the year and everyone's favourite friendly ol' uncle cum general miracle-worker-for-hire Claudio Ranieri is in town... and the legend that is Peter Schmeichel have walked down the green carpet giving their general opinion on things and just soaking in the occasion.

It's all warming up very nicely at the Palladium Theatre