Angela Lee opens up about suicide attempt in 2017: “I couldn’t stop thinking about the shame”

ONE women’s atomweight MMA world champion Angela Lee recently penned an emotional piece for The Players’ Tribune, detailing her personal struggles with her mental health.

‘Unstoppable’ bravely revealed certain aspects of her life to the public, which she tried to sweep under the rug for several years.

Lee even revisited her darkest kept secret, admitting her 2017 car crash was not by accident as initially reported. The Singaporean-American admitted she tried to commit suicide that night.

As part of her gut-wrenching revelation, Lee admitted the pressures of becoming a global superstar took their toll on her physically and mentally. In the days leading to the crash, Lee shared her struggles to cut weight for a scheduled fight at the time.

The physically draining nature of her cut, along with anxiety and the depression that comes from trying to live up to an immense pressure, eventually led her to the lowest point of her life.

Lee detailed in The Players’ Tribune article, 'Resilient':

“I couldn’t stop thinking about the shame that would result if I wasn’t able to make the fight. As someone who had never missed any competition in her entire life, that terrified me. It became all-encompassing. And, ultimately, I got to a point where I would rather take myself out of the equation than deal with what might come.”

She added:

“That’s where my head was at. It was all or nothing.”

On that fateful evening, Angela Lee purposely drove her car over a ledge. Instead of fear, she admitted feeling a sense of relief as the incident occurred.

Fortunately, she survived the harrowing ordeal and now has the courage and clarity to tell the tale. She continued:

“And, as an athlete, in all honesty, that mentality can be useful and motivating. But it’s also a double-edged sword. And, with me, I got to a point where I had pushed my mind and body too far.”

If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone who is experiencing them, help is available. In the US, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For a list of other nations’ helplines, see this page.