"I still want to take this time now to apologize again": Rachel Leviss takes accountability for hurting Ariana Madix

Rachel Leviss, who exited Vanderpump Rules season 10 following the “Scandoval” controversy, wants to apologize to Ariana Madix again. The former cast member spoke at length about how she feels watching the season 11 premiere on the latest episode of her podcast Rachel Goes Rogue.

In a dramatic confession, Rachel admitted she was in contact with Tom Sandoval even after apologizing for their affair to Ariana during the season 10 reunion.

Tom and Ariana, two of the principal cast of Vanderpump Rules, ended their relationship of nine years last March after the discovery of Tom’s affair with fellow costar Rachel Leviss. Last season’s reunion, saw Ariana confronting Sandoval about the infidelity, which led to a nasty fight on screen.

Though Rachel apologized for her actions at the time, it is now revealed she would continue to send Sandoval letters to communicate with him. She confessed:

“I feel like, with my apology that I made at the reunion, I had all the right intentions and I was extremely sorry. But there's another part of an apology, which is your actions afterwards — they have to align with what you're saying.”

Rachel Leviss expressed she wants to apologize to Ariana again for being hurtful to her:

“And by sending him (Sandoval) letters and being in contact for a good amount of time, I still want to take this time now to apologize again because I am in a different place than I was back then, and I can see things a lot clearer now."

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Rachel Leviss reacts to Vanderpump Rules season 11 premiere

The former Vanderpump Rules star detailed the twisted truth of doing reality TV explaining how people have to live a singular timeline twice. She said:

“It's a weird time warp when you're watching a show like this and living one reality in that moment and then, months later when the episodes air, you're living in another reality but you're also reliving those moments that they captured on camera.”

Hence, watching Ariana’s reaction toward the infidelity makes her want to take “accountability” for her previous actions. Rachel noted that her behavior was “hurtful” to Ariana at the time.

The reality star is also learning to accept the fact that she’s not going to feature in this season, a decision that Rachel claims was difficult for her to make. She’s focusing on the positive aspects of it all as she continues to find “peace” and “stability” in her life. Rachel Leviss explained:

“I do worry about things that are going to come up this season, but I'm just happy that I'm not in it like I used to be."

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Rachel Leviss reacts to Lala’s voice note

In the Vanderpump Rules season 11 premiere episode, Lala was the first cast member to take initiative toward making room for forgiveness toward Rachel. In a heart-to-heart conversation with Lisa Vanderpump, Lala broke down feeling bad about Rachel’s comment about feeling “isolated.” She dropped her a voice note trying to reconcile and repair their friendship.

On her podcast, Rachel Leviss said that she listened the voice note when she got out of the treatment facility:

"I immediately just felt like I didn't trust Lala and her intentions, but as I'm watching this season and this episode, immediately I was like, 'Oh, she did it on camera. OK, that makes a lot of sense'... Just knowing that she didn't reach out to me on her own time, and it not being related to the show and filming, tells me everything that I need to know."

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Vanderpump Rules season 11 episode 2 is set to release on Tuesday, February 6, exclusively on Bravo.