How did Mark Harmon and Pam Dawber meet? Relationship explored as NCIS star reveals the “cold call” that led to marriage

During a discussion on his new historical non-fiction book with PEOPLE, Mark Harmon revealed how he met his wife, Pam Dawber, with whom he has been married for 36 years.

Recalling their first meeting, he said that he was originally supposed to be set up with Dawber on a group date via a mutual friend:

“I said, 'Can I just call? Can I get a number and just cold call?'”

The My Sister Sam actress, Pam Dawber and 1989 People's Se*iest Man Alive, Mark Harmon were TV's most popular couples in the 1880s. They got married in 1987 with a private ceremony involving only a small group of friends and family.

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We're not trying to keep something secret - says Pam Dawber

Mark Harmon's cold call in 1986 was received by Pam Dawber but went to her answering machine.

He proceeded to leave a message for Pam not knowing that his future wife was screening the call. He said:

'We don't have to (all) go out. We could get a cup of coffee or something.’

Mark Harmon then revealed Pam Dawber's reaction to his message;

"She was monitoring, and she picked up. We went out that night, and we're together ever since.”

Despite being the "it" couple, the two were private about their life, to which Pam commented during an interview with PEOPLE;

"We're not trying to keep something secret, but if you don't want it totally exploited by the press, you have to."

In 2016, she told Fox News that it's important for her and Harmon to leave the family out of the spotlight;

"Noticce you don't see us in the magazines. When you're married, that's real life. And to go and plaster your kids...I'm sorry. I'm not for that."

After being crowned the Sexiest Man Alive, Mark said to PEOPLE;

"I'm real monogamous by nature, and I'm fine being alone like I am now. When I marry, I want it to be everything this town says it can't be. I'm not into catting around."

When asked about their secret to a happy marriage, Mark Harmon replied;

“We laugh. You got to laugh, and you got to talk and communicate. That's the fun part. Do we sit and talk about it? No. Maybe you just get fortunate and find the right one. We share many things and yet we're really different.”

However, he had told PEOPLE in 2019;

“We were both in our thirties when we got married, so hopefully the stupid stuff we did earlier. That’s probably the closest I have to what the key is.”

Commenting on the family life, Pam Dawber in 2016 told Fox News on how she took more than a decade-long hiatus to focus on her family:

"I don't think two people can work all the time in show business and stay married. I wanted to drive my kids to school. I wanted to be there for their birthdays and bring cupcakes and donuts and do the school festivals and all that, and I did."

She added:

"I got to teach in their art class, and so it was a different life then. And I was very happy to do it."

Today, the couple live a quiet life in California. They have two children, both in their thirties. Sean is an actor, while Ty is a screenwriter.