Singer-songwriter Mariel Darling recently took to TikTok to discuss the latest dating trend - being zombied. Darling shared a video on the platform last week and told her 255K+ TikTok followers that she wasn't just being ghosted but was being zombied as well. The trend took over the internet and several other social media users have shared their experiences of being zombied in as they navigate modern-day dating.
In the video, which has since gotten more than 1.5 million views, Mariel explained that being zombied was like ghosting. However, she explained that the ghoster comes back from the "dead after a couple of months and hits you up."
In a follow-up video, Mariel said that dating in New York was similar to being in a zombie apocalypse as "all these boys are tap dancing around commitment."
As soon as people saw the video, they couldn't help but agree with Mariel's statements and relate to her dating experience. One person even commented that they were living "in an apocalypse fr (for real)."
Meanwhile, the Urban Dictionary described the term as:
"When someone you dated, had a one-night stand with, or was a friend with benefits that ghosted you and comes back later."
In simple terms, it refers to someone you were previously involved with, no matter how brief, and who is now hitting you up.
Netizens react to the dating trend of being zombied as they share their own experiences
Several users took to the TikTok comment section of Mariel Darling's video to talk about their personal experiences and explain the phenomenon in their own way.
A few also gave their input, while others pointed out that it was an old concept. They even cited the Urban Dictionary, which shows that their definition was last edited on March 18, 2018.
Although it is an old concept, people said that they are still being affected by it. Some said that the entire thing was just the definition of zero commitment and that the ability to go back to your previous lover should not be classified as being zombied.
Dating expert Samantha Jayne said that being zombied can impact a person's self-confidence
Samantha Jayne is a dating expert who said that the trend has been around for as long as relationships have been. Jayne added that players love to zombie other people, and even discussed the effects of being zombied with News.com.
She said that it can be incredibly damaging and confusing for the person who had to deal with it. Jayne noted:
"It impacts self-confidence and leaves someone feeling anxious about abandonment, then when that person reappears can give a sense of hope and a painful reminder of the random departure."
Jayne said that when an old flame returns from nowhere and expects things to be normal between the individuals concerned, the effect can be cruel. It could also leave behind a feeling of bewilderment. It is important to remember that the person walks in with zero accountability, according to Jayne.
She says that there are two main reasons that people zombie. The first one is that the person is bad at communication while the other is that the person does not know how to end things.
For those who don't know how to communicate effectively, as time passes, they can try and reconnect with the person they ghosted to help their anxieties and insecurities. However, Jayne said that the second reason is just malicious on the ghoster's part.
The dating expert added:
“They got back with an ex, met someone new and you are their backup plan. They suddenly feel lonely, have run out of options, and know that you are a sure thing to massage their egos until they find the next one.”
She concluded that they basically treat the other person like a doormat and believe they can reappear and disappear when they have a better option.
To highlight the difference between the two kinds is that the poor communicator will be anxious and overthinking. However, will always come along with an explanation and an apology. Meanwhile, the malicious type will have a mindset that the person they are coming to is the one who should consider themselves lucky.
Jayne reminds people that it is important to keep in mind that the person being zombied is the one with all the power in the situation. They can delete the message or ignore it. Either of the two actions will send across a strong message to the other person.
However, if the person being zombied requires an explanation, asking is the best way to go. Depending on their answer, one can determine how to react, according to Jayne.
Samantha Jayne concluded her outlook on being zombied by asking one to be mindful since the player could just possibly want to do it all over again. She believes that the best thing to do is not to dig up a zombie in the first place.
Meanwhile, the original poster of the zombie video, Mariel Darling also recently discussed the phenomenon with Fox NY.