Who is Lilly Jay? Ethan Slater's ex-wife opens up about divorce and how they grew apart while he filmed Wicked

Ethan Slater's ex-wife, Dr. Lilly Jay, has broken her silence regarding their divorce and the circumstances surrounding it. In a personal essay for The Cut, published on December 19, 2024, Jay details her journey through the dissolution of her marriage, which coincided with her husband's involvement in the movie Wicked and his alleged subsequent relationship with Ariana Grande.

"I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband's new relationship with a celebrity," she wrote in the essay.

Lilly Jay's essay highlighted the growing distance in her relationship with Slater, particularly as their career paths diverged. Jay, a psychologist specializing in women's mental health, described her detachment from social media as a deliberate choice, contrasting with Ethan Slater's professional reliance on online exposure. She explained:

"We puzzled through this predicament on walks, over pizza, in our apartment and excitedly concocted rules of engagement of how and what he would share about our lives together... I confidently moved to another country [England] with my 2-month-old baby and my husband to support his career."

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Lilly Jay opens up about postpartum depression and public marital breakdown

Lilly Jay also revealed her battle with postpartum depression during this period, stating in her essay,

"My entire adult life, I feared that loss of control and postpartum depression would destroy me. One day in London, I looked up and found that they had both arrived. And I am okay."

Despite these challenges, Lilly Jay remained focused on her child and on reshaping her future.

Addressing the public nature of her marital breakdown, she shared that she has been working hard to come to terms with the sudden end of her marriage. Lilly Jay further expressed her belief that despite losing the life she envisioned with her high school sweetheart, a future filled with happiness awaits her and her child.

Ethan Slater officially filed for divorce from Jay on July 26, 2023, shortly after People reported on his romance with Ariana Grande on July 20. Meanwhile, reports of Grande's separation from her ex-husband, Dalton Gomez, emerged earlier that year in January.

On July 27, 2023, Jay indirectly addressed the rumors regarding Slater and Grande's alleged affair. She told Page Six:

"[Ariana's] the story, really. Not a girl's girl. My family is just collateral damage."

Ariana Grande, on the other hand, has emphasized her frustration with media misrepresentation during interviews in 2024, including her appearance on The Zach Sang Show in February and a September interview with Vanity Fair.

Ethan Slater at the "Wicked: Part One" European Premiere (Image via Getty)

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Since the finalization of her divorce in September 2023, Jay has focused on her son and maintained a low profile, deleting her social media accounts.

Lilly Jay's professional background reflects her dedication to advocacy. A graduate of Amherst College, she has worked as a psychology lab assistant and has been active in campaigns against campus sexual assault. In 2014, she even spoke at the White House on the importance of allyship in supporting assault survivors.