What is depersonalization? SNL star Bowen Yang steps away from Las Culturistas podcast

Saturday Night Live (SNL) star Bowen Yang recently took to social media to open up about his mental health issues. The comedian and actor shared via Instagram stories that he will take a step back from his podcast, Las Culturistas, due to “bad bouts of depersonalization.”

Mayo Clinic states that Depersonalization-derealization disorder occurs when a person persistently or repeatedly has feelings of observing themselves from outside their body. They may also have a sense that things around them are not real.

The website further states that the disorder is more common in people who’ve had traumatic experiences in the past. The disorder is different from psychotic disorders as the people suffering from depersonalization are aware that the feelings of detachment are not real.

Symptoms include a disconnect from thoughts and surroundings, depression, anxiety, feeling like one is observing them from outside their body, and feeling like one is living in a dream. Feelings of distortion, alienation, and emotional disconnect are not uncommon.

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Bowen Yang is the first Chinese-American cast member of SNL

Bowen Yang joined Saturday Night Live (SNL) as a staff writer in 2018. He was promoted to the cast as a featured player in season 45, along with Chloe Fineman. He is the show’s first-ever Chinese-American, third openly queer, and fourth-ever Asian cast member of the long-running show.

The SNL cast member is known for his impressions and characters, including Chen Biao, Ken Jeong, George Takei, Andrew Yang, Yao Ming, Elton John, Kim Min-Seok, Fran Leibowitz, Steven Seaggal, Taboo, Xi Jinping, Mr. Uekusa, Psy, and Eugene Lee Yang.

In January 2020, Bowen opened up about his traumatic past while in conversation with The New York Times. During the conversation, he revealed that when he was 17 years old, his parents found a conversation between him and another male.

“They just sat me down and yelled at me and said, ‘We don’t understand this. Where we come from, this doesn’t happen.’ I’d only seen my father cry when my grandpa died and now he’s sobbing in front of me every day at dinner,” he said.

The Saturday Night Live star continued that he kept thinking to himself that he wanted to make it right because it was “the worst thing you can do as a child of immigrants.” He added that he didn’t want his parents to suffer on his account and revealed that his father arranged for him to go to therapy which he later discovered was gay conversion therapy.

He recalled that the first few sessions were “talk therapy,” which he didn’t mind, but eventually, they started to “explain the gay away with pseudoscience.” The therapist used to ask the SNL star to describe the sensory description of how he felt when he was attracted to a man. They would then go through the circular reasoning of it.

While speaking of his experience with the therapist, Bowen stated that they would often phrase questions in a way that would make him rethink his orientation. He shared that they would often pester him if his answers weren’t what they wanted them to be.

Examples of the questions included “Weren’t you uncomfortable a little bit?” or “How his chest felt when he would see a male he was attracted to?” When the SNL cast member would admit to the smallest of things, such as “slouching,” the therapist would claim that Bowen had feelings of shame.

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Bowen has been the host of Las Culturistas along with Matt Roger since 2016. In 2021, he was included in Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People and was even on the cover of Entertainment Weekly’s Pride Issue the same year.