'%20x='0'%20y='0'%20height='100%25'%20width='100%25'%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20xlink%3Ahref='data:image/jpg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAMDAwMDAwQEBAQFBQUFBQcHBgYHBwsICQgJCAsRCwwLCwwLEQ8SDw4PEg8bFRMTFRsfGhkaHyYiIiYwLTA+PlQBAwMDAwMDBAQEBAUFBQUFBwcGBgcHCwgJCAkICxELDAsLDAsRDxIPDg8SDxsVExMVGx8aGRofJiIiJjAtMD4+VP/AABEIAAYACgMBIgACEQEDEQH/xABfAAEBAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABggQAAICAgIDAQAAAAAAAAAAAAECAxEABAUHBhQhQQEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAxEAAgIDAQEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQIRIQADBGFi/9oADAMBAAIRAxEAPwCR7z7j4rQ7B2eLbxqOXY45401pTNQk9hAWLGrSg3yrvMtbDeTpPKsW1AEV2CAs90D8/MYxuJFjYYslZvzB7Nrk6lmlDAV9Z//Z'%3E%3C/image%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Bryan Kohberger's Tapatalk posts have gone viral on social media following his arrest. Kohberger claimed to have been experiencing visual snow syndrome, in which one of the symptoms includes loss of memory.
On January 5, Bryan Kohberger appeared in court. He has been charged with the murder of students Kaylee Goncalves, Madison Mogen, Ethan Chapin, and Xana Kernodle.
The 28-year-old murder suspect's online activity has recently been making headlines. The posts, which have come to light, have been from the Tapatalk platform, where he explained the struggles of experiencing visual snow syndrome. Speaking about the same, Bryan Kohberger said in one post:
“My mind is never not on visual snow and I always wonder what a normal person would be doing while I sit there and suffer. This whole thing has made me crazy, I feel like my life is pointless because people can think about times with parents/ childhood memories and be happy, and I won’t be able to.”
Visual Snow Syndrome has a range of troubling symptoms
According to Web MD, visual snow syndrome is a rare condition that can obscure one's entire visual field. Patients can see static-like dots in black-and-white, colored, or even transparent. The website described it as follows:
“Visual snow is a continuous visual disturbance that can entirely obscure vision. People who have it often describe it as a tiny flickering that resembles television static. While this “snow” is usually black and white, it might also be colored or transparent.”
Some symptoms may include headaches, irritability, lethargy, and difficulty concentrating.
The cause of the syndrome remains unknown. However, it may be linked to traumatic incidents that "trigger" the visual snow syndrome symptoms. Some triggers that can lead to what is believed to be a neurological disorder include concussions, head trauma, illegal drug use, and SSRIs.
What did Bryan Kohberger say on Tapatalk?
On July 4, 2011, Bryan Kohberger uploaded a post on the platform under the username Exarr.thosewithvisualsnow. He explained that he had been experiencing "horrible depersonalization" for nearly two years.
In the lengthy post, Bryan Kohberger called himself an "organic sack of meat with no self worth." He explained that he could not connect with his family as he was "stuck in this void of nothing" and felt no emotions.
Adding to the symptoms, the alleged murderer also claimed that he was always "dizzy and confused." Bryan Kohberger went on to add:
“As I hug my family, I look into their faces, I see nothing, it is like I am looking at a video game, but less. I feel less than mentally damaged, it is like I have severe brain damage. I am stuck in the depths of my mind, where I have to constantly battle my demons, am I here or am I fake? I feel myself slipping away, I hear screams faintly, but I constantly battle away from it.”
Bryan Kohberger also claimed to be experiencing depression which would not leave.
Medium claimed that Kohberger began posting on the platform when he was 14. At the time, he stated that he was also suffering from vision problems, which was evident from his misspelled words.
In another post uploaded on May 12, 2011, the murder suspect said that he was experiencing:
“Fog, lack of compregention at some times… no interest in activity, constant thought of su*cide, crazy thoughts, delusions of grandeur, anxiety, poor self image, poor social skills, NO EMOTION, I feel like nothing has a point to it"
He continued:
"When I get home, I am mean to my family. This started when VS did. I felt no emotion and along with the depersonalization, I can say and do whatever I want with little remorse… everyone hates me pretty much I am an a*shole.”
Twitter user @wydna00 also uploaded a screenshot of Bryan Kohberger explaining his memory loss on the social media platform. Kohberger said:
“I can’t remember anything recent or anything from childhood. I used to be able to remember everything from my childhood and everything every day for a month before me… now I am just a blank soul living in the now… what hurts the most is knowing that everytime I try to remember things from the pastm I can’t, and my mind is so hung up with vs, all the migraine (vs) effects mentally.”
The murder suspect also created a rap song about his struggles. Those interested in hearing the same can do so through this YouTube video.
