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4. A cat wins the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Championship
Although not an inanimate object per se, a cat isn’t capable of understanding this situation, nor is it capable of actually knowingly making a decision. Thus, the cat makes sense as an inanimate ‘creature’ for the sake of this argument.
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During the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Championship’s ‘illustrious’ lineage, several non-human entities have held it following dubious title ‘victories’. In one case, then-champion Laura James was playing with her car Bunny, and had the car on her chest while she was lying on her back, with her shoulders presumably pinned down.
As a result, the referee counted three, resulting in Bunny the Cat becoming DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Champion for a short time.
Shortly thereafter, Bunny lost the belt to Ryan Nemeth, after he got the cat to ‘shake hands’ to forfeit the title in exchange for a cat treat. No, seriously:
