10 most difficult footballers to manage

All the world’s a rage to these 10 players. Be it their spitting, hitting or jail-visiting, they make their managers contemplate sending them away to Shutter Island. Their conduct breaches and culinary fetishes earn them the distinction of being part of this list. Without further ado, here are the 10 most difficult players to manage in world football.

#10 William Gallas

Chelsea may not have had a cranky, spoilt pre-adolescent in their ranks between 2001 and 2006, but at least they had William Gallas. For a world-famous pro-level footballer playing in one of the biggest leagues, threatening to score own goals unless benched and sold sounds too petty even for a 12-year-old trying to blackmail his parents into buying him that new action-figure in the market, lest he won’t eat his broccoli.

The Frenchman secured the transfer he had wanted and made a horrendous switch to fierce rivals Arsenal. Ironically, Gallas perpetrated another act of betrayal when he moved from Arsenal to fiercer rivals Tottenham Hotspur a few seasons later. And for an Arsenal captain to switch over to Tottenham is worse than committing a Cardinal Sin.

Gallas, who once scandalously plonked his bottom on the turf against Birmingham City – whether in disbelief or protest – gained the reputation for being a real prima donna. And prima donnas are the worst kind to manage.

#9 Luis Suarez

Any slideshow is not complete without Luis Suarez. Ever heard the saying, “It’s a dog-eat-dog world”? It looks like our Uruguayan has taken that way too seriously, and while none of his victims are dogs, he may have seen them as hot-dogs.

Ever heard the saying, “You are what you eat”? It looks like our Uruguayan has also taken that saying too seriously and, in believing and wanting to profess his human-ness, attempted to eat other humans.

These distasteful and disgraceful acts that Suarez has performed not once, not twice, but thrice show us just how sincere the ‘Smiling Assassin’ is about his proverbs. His managers, however, are left with a bad taste in their mouths (unlike him), as they have to deal with his lengthy bans by roping in replacements. And with someone irreplaceable like Suarez, that’s a tough ask.

His attitude and other on-field antics didn’t make him easy to coach either but he seems to have settled down after his move to Barcelona.

#8 Carlos Tevez

When Roberto Mancini, at a time of dire need, called on the services of his mercurial striker against Bayern Munich, he remained plonked to the bench. Say hello to Carlos Tevez, everyone.

This refusal to come on against Bayern is only the tip of the iceberg for a man who understates the term ‘brat’. Tevez, who drove around the United Kingdom without licence, embodies true unprofessionalism.

A constant magnet for trouble and controversy, the Argentine has left his managers with more than enough headaches to last a lifetime. And if that’s not enough, his complete lack of respect towards Sir Alex Ferguson, Alejandro Sabella and Roberto Mancini makes him a deplorable personality.

His ‘R.I.P Fergie’ placard while on victory parade with Manchester City and whimsical comments on the national manager not owning ‘satellite television’ speak volumes of his character. All this coupled with a poor training regime and work ethic make Tevez one that most managers would prefer to avoid having to work with.

#7 Adel Taarabt

Harry Redknapp on Taarabt:

“Taarabt’s not the best trainer, and hasn’t got the best attitude.” (Euphemism for ‘Taarabt is arrogant and lazy.’)

Also, Harry Redknapp on Taarabt:

“Get rid of the troublemaker before he gets rid of us.”

Harry Redknapp on Taarabt a few years prior to that:

“Taarabt’s a fruitcake!”

Harry Redknapp on Taarabt again:

“I don’t know if his head is right.”

The ‘next Zidane’ is what Taarabt was slated to be. But first, he needs to pick up his manager’s phone calls. Taarabt was reportedly left out of the Moroccan squad by for a series of friendlies by manager Badou Ezzaki after he did not respond to any phone calls or messages sent to him.

With cutthroat competition for a spot in the Tottenham squad during his stint there, calling a rival club like Arsenal ‘better’ and saying that he’d rather play for them is not the wisest thing to do.

The arrogant and often gauche Taarabt is yet to live up to his ‘Zidane’ tag and never will unless he earns some faith from his managers.

#6 Antonio Cassano

Cassanata: noun.1. Any inappropriate or silly behaviour; any behaviour that is incompatible with team spirit in football. 2. Any unbelievable, unfathomable piece of brilliance in football.

Here’s an Italian term coined by Fabio Capello, a ‘father figure’ to the one and only Antonio Cassano. On his father figure, Cassano had this to say in his autobiography:

“He’s more fake than monopoly money.” Capello is not the only manager that the feisty Italian has badmouthed, there have been tons of others. And they have badmouthed him too. And not without good reason, for this man has the uncanny ability of delighting and disappointing at the same time.

Here’s a sampling: Cassano holds the world record for being the only player to score, get booked and subsequently get sent off all within the span of a minute.That record probably sums up the magician best.

A sex addict, Cassano’s pre-match warm-up – much to his coaches’ dissent – includes a staple round of sex with the 600-700 women he claims in his autobiography to have slept with. He also claims to have a special food-and-sex ritual that he follows before derby matches. What’s shocking though is the fact that Cassano is one of the best derby players – he’s scored in 5 Italian derbies and one Spanish one!

That’s Cassanata 1 & 2 for you.

#5 Marko Arnautovic

If Mario Balotelli thinks that someone makes him look like a Saint, then you know that someone means business. Marko Arnautovic is the bad boy.

The Austrian has the knack of doing the wrong things at the wrong times. For example, he injured his knee ligament at the most crucial time of the 2011/12 season for Werder Bremen, indirectly costing them a Europa League spot.

How is that his fault, you may ask? The fact that he injured his knee while having a running race with a dog might answer that question. That probably didn’t leave his manager Thomas Schaaf very happy. He added to Schaaf’s problems by getting himself sent off shortly after returning for threatening to kick the ball on the referee’s head.

With Jose Mourinho saying he ‘acts and thinks like a kid’ and ex-manager Mclaren calling him ‘the craziest player he’s ever coached’, Marko Arnautovic gives Balotelli a run for his money when it comes to mangling managers.

Fun Fact: Arnautovic borrowed Samuel Eto’o’s Bentley once and took it to a restaurant. After he finished his meal, the car was stolen, gone. Well, that’s Arnautovic for you, folks.

#4 El-Hadji Diouf

He spits when he wants, he spits when he wants!

Ell-Hadji Diouf; he spits when he wants!

When Gerard Houllier brought him to Anfield, he paid £10 million for a serial scorer, not a serial spitter. The Senegalese striker has attracted patent disapproval from two of his three Premier League managers – Houllier and Sam Allardyce. In fact, Big Sam even went on record saying that Diouf’s reputation was bad for the team.

One of the most hated players in the Premier League at the time, there is much more to Diouf than just spite and saliva. More racist than the Northerners pre-emancipation is El-Hadji.

While most of the other players that make this list make up for being a perpetual headache with talent, the same cannot be said about Diouf. According to former captain Carragher, “Diouf was one of the worst strikers in Liverpool history. In fact, he was one of the worst No. 9’s of any Premier League club. He was the last to get picked during training.”

Take that for spit!

#3 Ricardo Quaresma

Very few have been as repugnant towards their managers as Ricardo Quaresma. He criticises them, threatens them, hell, he even throws bottles at them! Oh, no, Quaresma is not your ordinary rebel.

The fact that he lambasted then-manager Frank Rijkaard – not somebody you’d want to defy – while only 19 in his first season at Barcelona is proof of just how rebellious Quaresma is. Never one to bow down to authority, he was even guilty of trying to assert his supremacy over his manager Carlos Carvalhas, when he attacked him with bottles, launched a tirade and told him that “he’s nothing without him”.

Apart from defying managers, the supremely endowed Portuguese winger has frustrated his teammates at all the clubs he has represented with his selfishness. Passing the ball is not an institution he believes in and this has triggered a number of arguments and altercations with his compatriots – the most notable occasion being the bust-up between Turkish veteran Nihat Kahveci and himself while at Sporting GP.

Quaresma has gone from being Cristiano Ronaldo’s twin to his shadow, but he may yet redeem himself as he appears to have sorted himself and his ego out. Following an extremely impressive 2013/14 campaign for FC Porto, the king of Rabonas and Trivelas seems to have hit a second wind of sorts, and for the sake of football, we earnestly hope that he can sustain this rekindled brilliance.

#2 Joey Barton

The guy runs riot, literally. He served 77 days in prison for assault and affray, and punching a man 20 times, knocking out a few teeth in the process. Therefore, it would be a safe assumption to say that Sam Allardyce, Stuart Pearce, Harry Redknapp and all the other managers under whom Barton has played, don’t want him around their teams’ dressing rooms. After all, he even has a record of punching a teammate near blind.

For a man who spends more time in the police station than on the training ground, Joey Barton has quite the CV. Having won accolades such as Young player of the Season while representing clubs like Manchester City, Newcastle United and Marseille, Joey Barton has often been touted as one of England’s best playmakers and leaders.

However, our boxer-ninja-psychopath all-in-one has never lived up to his promise, flying into two-footed challenges, sparking off 10-man melees and assaulting ex-teammates, not to mention wagging his uncovered derriere at opposition fans.

But what makes Joey Barton THE Joey Barton is his outright infringement of every freedom of expression guideline. From taking to Twitter to call Brazilian pair Thiago Silva and Neymar an ‘overweight ladyboy’ and ‘cat-piss’ respectively, to biting the hand that feeds him by publicly castigating his teammates and manager while at Manchester City, Barton is not one to mince words.

Neymar is the Justin Bieber of football. Brilliant on the old You Tube. Cat piss in reality...

— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 25, 2013

And that is what makes Joseph Anthony Barton every manager’s nightmare.

#1 Mario Balotelli

Balotelli and Roberto Mancini were once involved in a scuffle at a training session

Presenting to you the Godfather of all footballing delinquents – Mario Balotelli!

Much has been discussed about the oddities of the previous players in this slideshow, but none can hold a candle to Mafia-man Balotelli. Let’s discuss why our Brilliant & Belligerent Bambino is the ultimate manager mangler:

Firstly, he tried to beat the stuffing out of Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini on the training ground. The aforementioned players on this list have only tried to do this to their opponents or to their teammates, or throw bottles at their manager, at worst.

But, Balotelli, oh Balotelli, assaulted Mancini, and who knows what would have ensued if it wasn’t for a timely intervention? Now, which manager would want to work with a man who wants a pound of flesh of him?

Secondly, for shooting practice, Balotelli tried to kill a bunch of innocent, youth academy players with darts (tranquilizers, possibly?). At least Joey Barton picks on people his own size.

Thirdly, Balotelli once claimed he is allergic to the pitch. How can a manager possibly live with a player who is allergic to the field he plays on?

Even Adel Taraabt – earlier on our list – believes that Balotelli is truly the Enfant terrible of the footballing world as per Harry Redknapp. Balotelli even has a song to prove it.

And finally, Jose Mourinho’s story at Inter Milan:

“I remember one time when we went to play Kazan in the Champions League. In that match I had all my strikers injured. No Diego Milito, no Samuel Eto’o, I was really in trouble and Mario was the only one. Mario got a yellow card in the 42nd minute, so when I got to the dressing room at half-time I spend about 14 minutes of the 15 available speaking only to Mario.

“I said to him: ‘Mario, I cannot change you, I have no strikers on the bench, so don’t touch anybody and play only with the ball. If we lose the ball no reaction. If someone provokes you, no reaction, if the referee makes a mistake, no reaction.'

“The 46th minute – red card!”