9 reasons why it's tough to be an Indian cricketer

Being a cricketer is tough – it takes a lot of hard work, commitment and sacrifices to become a world class cricketer. However, it’s even tougher, if you are born in India. Cricket in India is a religion (yes, it’s a cliche but am still using it) and people go nuts about the team and it’s members. If you win, you’re a demi god, if you don’t it can get a little nasty.Forget your technique, you need something more to become a cricketer and play for India. Here are the 10 major reasons why it’s tough to be an Indian cricketer:

#1 You are always the Next Tendulkar

The Next Tendulkar or the first Kohli

Biggest hurdle for a young cricketer. You are always tagged as the “next” someone. If you are a batsman and have scored a couple of blazing hundreds, you’re the next Tendulkar and if by mistake, you have ever helped India to save a game from a tight spot, you are definitely the “Next Wall” in the making.

Forget Tendulkar and Dravid, nowadays, if you’re a great U-19 talent and have a swagger about you (read foul-mouthed), you run the risk of being tagged as the “Next Virat Kohli” and if by any cruel twist of fate, you’re a bowler and have conceded important runs, the tag of the “Next Ishant Sharma” is waiting just round the corner for you.

#2 You are as good as your last game

100s is all we care about!

If you’re an Indian cricketer, you can never be out of form, period. Unless of course, you’re Virender Sehwag. You have to score eighties, if not hundreds, every game to even become a crowd favourite.

Statutory warning: A quick cameo of 40 is not good enough because no one will even notice it. In India, you aren’t a batsman if you can’t score a 50 in every game.

However, if you’re a bowler, it’s a little easier. If you don’t concede more than 40 runs in a game, you’re GOD.

#3 If youre doing ads, you better score a lot

Dandruff Shampoo okay but runs should also flow like Tattad Tattad

If you are flaunting your dandruff free hair on the telly with the latest Bollywood bombshell, you better be ready to flex your muscles with the bat when India is chasing a huge score . Always remember, the number of biscuits you eat on screen is directly proportional to the number of boundaries you hit and if you’re a bowler, oh sorry, you don’t need to worry, you won’t get ads anyway.

So young batsmen be careful, be very careful and remember what Yuvraj Singh said, “Jab tak balla chal raha hai….thhat hai…warna….”

#4 If India wins, matches are fixed

That towel!

“India aj jeet raha hai…yeah to fix hai fir!” - Another absurd reasoning that every Indian cricketer has to live with. Since the time Hansie Cronje confessed, every Indian cricketer has definitely heard this at least once in their life. You drop a catch – match fixed. You get out for a duck – “paise liye hai” and thanks to Sreesanth, now you can’t even wipe you sweat off with a towel.

#5 If youre from Chennai Super Kings, youre the captains pet

We don’t care about you have taken 50 wickets!

They say the best players come from the best teams. In football, you often see the national team dominated by the players from their league champions but for Indian cricket, this theory doesn’t hold true. If you are from Chennai Super Kings and you have been included in the Indian side, it means you’re MS Dhoni’s pet and have N. Srinivasan’s phone number on speed dial 1. Even if you’re the best ODI bowler and have picked up 50 wickets in a year, you’re still in the team because you are “Dhoni ka chamcha” .

#6 You better not get out to the short ball

No Test cricket for you…Sorry bro!

Never, ever get out to a short delivery. Duck, sway out, hook, pull, cut but don’t flinch and for Suresh Raina’s sake, don’t get out to a bouncer. It’s a taboo to get out to a short delivery if you’re an Indian batsman and the entire world will treat you as an outcast if you so much flinch at a missile hurled at your ribcage at 150 miles per hour.

It’s okay for a Jonny Bairstow and a Phil Jacques to dance around on a turning track, but if Suresh Raina can’t handle the short delivery – no Test cricket for you…Sorry bro!

#7 You are born on flat pitches

Flat track bully!

You are just born on the wrong side of the world, boss. No matter how much you score, every run is credited to the flat pitches and the 300s that you score on them are really not a real estimation of your talent. You are tagged as a flat track bully and the world will laugh at you when you struggle abroad.

#8 You are a bowler

Bowler? Huh! What’s that?

The joke’s on you – who in their right mind becomes a bowler in India? Get yourself checked and if you are found sane then….

“Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else….You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you.”

#9 You are judged by Experts

Because what I say matters, Really!

In India there are too many “experts”, way too many of them. Everyone has an opinion how a ball pitched on the off and middle should have been played and how the batsman should have actually “cut” and not “pull” – ed the short ball.

Those were the arm chair ones and they are pretty harmless but every Indian cricketer should stay away from the ones behind the mike, not from all of them, but most of them.