8 most frustrating things about Fantasy Premier League

What makes football such a loved sport across the globe is its unpredictability. A game of football makes one go through the entire set of emotions, right from elation when your team wins to disappointment when you have to deal with a loss. In some ways, it is very similar to life.One otherthing that comes close in this respect is a good, oldvideo game. A recreation of reality, theres virtually nothing you cannot do in a video game. Its got the thrills, its got the spills, and you havent even got anything to lose, since none of it is real. Another thing that nearly recreates the same moments full ofunpredictability is a good, oldrisky gamble (which, by the way, is illegal).That stomach-turningsensation of putting your hopes (and more importantly, your money)on a particular player or team and the success (money) he/ they can bring you, and the failure (no more money) with which he/ they can sting you, is a sensation exclusive to a gambler.Therefore, when one entity- Fantasy Premier League- combines the meanest qualities of all three- football, virtual gaming, and gambling, oh, its delightful. That is the English Premier Leagues official fantasy gamesaw over 3.1 million people participate.But like everything else in life, this mega-coaster has a catch. It makes you want to tear your hair out. Here are eightreasons why Im going bald:

#1 The Budget

If you often find yourself thinking, ”Manuel Pellegrini doesn’t have a budget, and he won the League last season! So why should I? I can’t possibly win the League with only a hundred million Pounds, can I?”, then you’re not alone.

It is the most common, and frustrating rule that FPL imposes on its players. But, there’s nothing you can do about it, since you’re not Manuel Pellegrini. Instead, embrace the ways of Arsene Wenger, and learn to be frugal (not too frugal, though).

With fifteen slots to fill, creating a team that does not exceed a hundred million pounds does prove to be quite a challenge.

#2 Problem of plenty

Hazard or Schurrle or Oscar or Willian or Fabregas or Salah? One expensive Chelsea midfielder is all you can afford, but you don’t even know whether the midfielder selected will be a part of Chelsea’s starting line up. That is what economists like to call the ‘problem of plenty’, and what fantasy football pundits call the game’s biggest pain in the neck.

With over 600 players to choose from, selecting only 11 in your starting lineup and 4 on your bench is an extremely tricky, and sticky process. And unless you’ve lived all your life under the tutelage of Professor Trelawney, staring into a crystal-ball, the odds of choosing the right eleven are stacked against you.

#3 Sheer (bad) luck

Hazard four weeks back: Plays the entire ninety, doesn’t contribute at all. He earns you 2 points. You decide to be patient and hold on to him, knowing that he’ll come good as class is permanent.

Hazard three weeks back: Plays 59 minutes, puts in an insipid performance. No goal, no assist. You’re starting to sweat, but you’re not worrying yet. After all, form is temporary.

Hazard two weeks back: makes cameo off bench for 12 minutes earning you virtually nothing. You’re worrying now, but you still won’t press the panic button. Patience is a virtue.

Hazard last week: Mourinho decides to give him ‘a rest’. You’ve had enough, he’s a waste of your money. You decide to bring in Aaron Ramsey, the season’s most consistent performer. Bye-bye Hazard. Hello Ramsey.

Hazard this week: Best showing of the season. Scores 3, sets up 2. (Ramsey got himself injured in the first half, typically.)

That’s the Fantasy Premier League at its best. Serving you a tasty, chunky slice of bad luck. Cheers!

#4 Conflict of interest

“Glory Glory Man United!”and “United Till I die” are your two favourite anthems, you sleep on a bedsheet that has Sir Alex Ferguson’s face on it, you flaunt your Wayne Rooney jersey like it’s a blessing straight from Heaven, you mourn on the sixth of February, yet you jump up and dance when Diego Costa (your fantasy team captain) puts one past David De Gea.

Fantasy Premier League can indeed be brutal sometimes. It turns you against those that you love dearest. Almost as if it’s a reincarnation of Shakespeare’s Brutus.

#5 The need to think

Luis Suarez has left the Premier League. You can’t have him on your team anymore. You no longer have the assurance of a captain who will score points week-in, week-out. That’s when the realization that you actually need to think this time around dawns on you. No more having it easy.

Another headache has been added to your worries. Math- hundreds of probabilities, permutations, combinations, statistics is now a part of your FPL regime, if school/work wasn’t bad enough already. Yes, Fantasy Premier League involves a great deal of thinking, of calculating, of understanding, of realising, of choosing, and of course- failing.

#6 Smaller teams and differentials

As was indicated in ‘The Budget’ slide, buying expensive, well- known players is a luxury no fantasy manager can afford much of. That’s where the smaller teams with lesser-known players come into the picture.

‘Differentials’, as fantasy football pundits have coined them, constitute a pivotal part of your fantasy team. Picking the right ones could reap you great rewards, but more often than not, we pick random guys who we’ve never heard of, not without good reason, and who are just a waste of time and money. Definitely quite frustrating. We play the game, after all, for the big sharks, and not the small, inconsequential tadpoles.

#7 The \'free\' transfer, the \'unlimited\' transfers and the four-point deduction

The makers of the game are giving people, and they have showered us with their generosity by granting us one absolutely ‘free’ transfer every week. We are eternally grateful to them. Eternally grateful for making us choose only 1 out of 15 underperforming players on our teams. Eternally grateful for leaving us with a perennial headache, which ends at the beginning of the weekend, only to begin at the end of the same weekend.

Eternally grateful even though they’re not that magnanimous after all, since they charge a ‘nominal’ fee of four points for every extra transfer made. And when four points is nearly a fifth of what you make every week, it’s not such a ‘nominal’ fee after all. Eternally grateful for selling us the lie that we will possess ‘unlimited’ transfers on the home page at the beginning of the season. Great thanks for the frustration, makers of FPL!

#8 Hope

This slide can be best explained by quoting Bane to Batman fromThe Dark Knight Riseswith a slight twist.Fantasy Premier League, where I learnt the truth about despair, as will you. Theres a reason why Fantasy Premier League is so frustrating...Hope. Every man who has ventured here over the years has looked up at the prizes and imagined climbing to glory.I learned here that there can be no true despair without hope.

Every day that you visit the FPL home page, you secretly hope to be the 1 in the 3,100,000 to win that seven-night VIP holiday, where youll be treated to two Premier League matches of your choice. So,as Fantasy Premier League terrorizes you, it will poison your soul with hope. Hopeless hope.