10 most outrageous and controversial quotes in world football

Footballers are humans too. One of the most often repeated cliches in sport, any crimes and misdemeanours committed by the prima donnas of the game are explained by this statement. They make mistakes too.After all, how long can you live under the constant fear of paparazzi guzzling up every word of yours? How long can you last before you become a public relations sensation or disaster or both?The normal ones find it easy. The characters do not. They are the Jose Mourinhos and the Jurgen Klopps of the game. The ones who make headlines with every word, tweet and line. They can be as funny as Jerry Seinfeld, as nasty as Vickie Guerrero or as stupid as Piers Morgan.And that is precisely why the game needs more like them. Here are ten such bizarre, yet memorable instances which prove that the beautiful game is indeed a quotable game.

#10 When Mario Balotelli asked a frank question

“Does a postman celebrate when he delivers post?”

The European championships can get to a young footballer. The beaming lights, the pressure and the relentless, eternal stoicism of Vicente Del Bosque can get to anybody’s nerves. Some wilt under the experience. Others thrive. Some others grab the tournament by the scruff of its neck and shake it around, giving it some much-needed fillip. Now, Mario Balotelli was no ordinary man. He certainly belonged to the latter category.

Having gained fame for making even Jose Mourinho speechless as a promising youngster at Inter Milan, the then Manchester City forward asked this unanswerable, existential and utterly ludicrous question to journalists who were obsessing on his joylessness.

The next day, he delivered not one but two mails into Manuel Neuer’s post (no pun intended), thus helping Italy deliver their eighth consecutive major tournament triumph on Die Mannschaft. Surely, ze Germans must’ve thought “Why always us?”.

#9 When Eric Cantona owned the press conference

“When the seagulls follow the trawler, they think sardines will be thrown into the sea”

The media is often accused of putting words into celebrities’ mouth, trying to manipulate them into saying something they never wanted to. However, every now and again, “the messers become the messees”, to quote Chandler Bing. Remember the epic “I’m just here, so I won’t get fined” replies given by Marshawn Lynch to the media? Well, he certainly wasn’t the first to troll them fourth estate guys.

It was 1995 and Eric Cantona had just been banned and given community service as punishment, after delivering an astonishing kung-fu kick on a Crystal Palace fan. In his post kick conference, Cantona didn’t oblige to the media and just stayed put obdurately. However, something had to give, and soon enough, King Cantona delivered this slap-on-the-face-disguised-as-high-intellectualism quote, as he likened the media to parasites trying to feed off his words. Ouch.

#8 When Roy Keane ranted at Mick McCarthy

“You can stick your World Cup up your a###”

Roy Keane doesn’t like a lot of things. Or people. He doesn’t like Patrick Vieira. He doesn’t like Sir Alex Ferguson. He doesn’t really start drooling when asked about the Class of ‘92. And he positively hates the former Republic of Ireland supremo, Mick McCarthy. Now, Roy Keane didn’t like Ireland’s training facility for the 2002 World Cup. He told the authorities he didn’t like it and went home.

However, McCarthy coaxed the volatile midfielder back into the team, and he sure didn’t like it. He told the fans that he didn’t like it. He told the media he didn’t like it. And when questioned by his gaffer, he told him he didn’t like him in a famous rant which goes “@#$%@#$%beeeeep%$@##$%^”. Needless to say, Keane was sent back home because he didn’t like any of this, and he happily obliged, spending time walking his pet labrador. He liked the dog.

#7 When Zlatan Ibrahimovic wrote about Pep Guardiola

“Barca had bought a Ferrari, and was driving it like a Fiat”

The master of quotable quotes in modern football, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is egoistic, hard to please, outspoken and unbelievably entertaining. He doesn’t do auditions, he doesn’t know Daniel Sturridge, he doesn’t give his wife gifts, and every sinew of his towering 6ft 5in body loathes Pep Guardiola. In his turbulent time at Catalunya which lasted just a solitary season, the big Swede ran into his manager for a whole lot of reasons.

Ousting him from his favoured No. 9 position irked him. Prohibiting swanky cars vexed him. And the Catalan’s lack of communication well and truly exasperated him. In his vitriolic and endlessly entertaining autobiography, Ibrahimovic minced no words, as he stopped short of raining the manager with expletives. However, this memorable quote, unattributed to this day, catches the eye, as Zlatan talks about how he was misused by the Spaniard.

#6 When Joey Barton tweeted on Neymar

“Neymar is the Justin Bieber of football”

More known for red cards, punches, fights and mooning than football, Joey Barton is like an Ed Wood movie – you know there’s no substance, you know it’s all ridiculous, yet you find it funny, precisely because it’s ridiculous and lacks in substance. With every claim to fame of his coming either off the field, or by being sent off the field, Barton’s opinions on football hardly matter; still, they are a lot of fun.

However, the combative Englishman had to eat humble pie with this analysis of Neymar, which incidentally, was just one among a series of anti-Neymar tweets. Thankfully, faith in humanity was restored, as Barton recently acknowledged that his tweet was a mistake. I don’t understand why people say the tweet is wholly false though. After all, he likens Bieber to feline urine. Take that, Beliebers.

#5 When Brian Clough trashed agents

“The only agent back then (in the 1970s) was 007. And he just sha###d women, not entire football clubs”

Aimed at the Jorge Mendeses and Mino Raiolas of the world, the most eloquent man in the history of football nailed it, with this timely, insightful and delightfully crude quote.

While nothing can beat his immortal public dressing down of John Motson, or his endless witticisms on his players (my personal favourite being “I can’t even spell spaghetti. How can I tell an Italian to get the ball? He might grab mine”), this statement actually reflects the truth of modern football, with clubs having to deal with agents who force them to pay through their nose, to acquire their superstar clients.

Here are some more Clough specials:

On losing 4-0 to Walton & Hersham – “I lost to a team who sounded like a firm of solicitors”.

On football hooligans – “Well, there are 92 chairmen, for a start”.

Brian Clough. Enough said.

#4 When Sepp Blatter debated on women\'s football

“Let the women play in more feminine clothes, like they do in volleyball. They could, for example, have tighter shorts”.

Sepp Blatter is a power monger. Sepp Blatter is a corrupt man. Sepp Blatter is thick skinned. Sepp Blatter is deluded. Sepp Blatter is outspoken. Sepp Blatter is an alleged criminal. Sepp Blatter is hard headed. Sepp Blatter often borders on senility. And, Sepp Blatter is a misogynist.

Of all the ways on earth to promote women’s football, the old, old Swiss found body hugging attire to be the most attractive. Not the sponsors, not the infrastructure, not the prejudice, not the coaching – skimpy clothes were the way to go. He then went from bad to worse, as he went on to say “We have three ladies on the board, say something ladies. You are always speaking at home. Say something now”. Oh my!

#3 When Diego Maradona commented on Pele

“Pele should go back to the museum”

The two greatest footballers of all time. The shared winners of the “FIFA Player of the Century” award. And yet, neither of them are the epitome of grace. With the Brazilian being constantly accused of egotism and vanity, and the eccentric ways of the Argentine being well documented in popular culture, it wouldn’t be amiss to say that they aren’t the best of role models, vis-a-vis Lionel Messi, for instance.

With self-proclamations of being better than the other being relentlessly thrown at each other, the pair has always risked losing their godlike statuses in the annals of the beautiful game. And Maradona, in particular, has been the master of below the belt attacks against the Black Pearl. This quote was in response to Pele criticizing modern footballs when asked about the Jabulani, ahead of the 2010 World Cup.

#2 When George Best talked about alcohol and women

“In 1969, I gave up women and alcohol – it was the worst twenty minutes of my life”

Has there ever been a greater showman in the beautiful game? Has there ever been a greater maverick in the history of sports than this man, bar maybe Ian Botham or Andre Agassi? And has there ever been a man full of so many one liners that the common man can relate to?

With his long, flowing Easy Rider hairdo and the natural charisma that came to him effortlessly, Best was the best when it came to being the best entertainer in the world of football. How can anybody ever forget his constant jibes at fierce rivals, Liverpool, to quote just one?

“If I had to choose between dribbling past five players and scoring from 40 yards at Anfield, or sha##ing the Miss World, it would be a hard choice. Thankfully, I’ve done both”.

George Best. You beauty.

#1 When Bela Guttman cursed Benfica

“Not in a hundred years from now, will Benfica ever be European champions”

The curse of Bela Guttman. Football’s answer to the Illuminati and the Bermuda Triangle. Sacked after winning the 1962 European Cup, because he asked for a pay rise, Guttman’s curse has been the albatross around the Lisbon outfit’s neck for more than half a century now. The team has gone on to lose an unbelievable five European Cup finals, in addition to three in the Europa League.

In fact, the great Eusebio even went to the grave of the Austrian and prayed for forgiveness, prior to the 1990 European Cup final, which was played in Vienna. However, none of them has been to any avail, as Guttman’s curse has gone on to achieve mythical proportions. The club even unveiled a statue of the man outside the Stadium of Light, but as far as his terrible curse is concerned, there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.