Andre 3000

Andre Villas-Boas wants to be included in Chelsea’s goal celebrations. According to British tabloid-trash ‘The Sun’, Villas-Boas wants Chelsea players to celebrate their goals with him and the coaching team, although the idea hasn’t gone down that well in the dressing room.

What a load of garbage, talk about trying to fill newspapers with stories just to fill the pages!

PC1 will be offered a deal

WWF Wrestler cum’Keeper Petr Cech will be offered a new Chelsea deal in the summer, to quell rumours of a Chelsea exit to make way for young upstart Thibaut Courtois.

The Force is Strong in Him

In a press release, AVB stated, ‘The goalkeeper position is very, very specific’. Insightful stuff indeed from the Portuegese tactitian.

Clever chap

Regarding Courtois,

‘We won’t recall him in January, for sure’.

Transfer update

Who will Chelsea look to plug their leaky defense? Despite a hatrick of clean sheets with a 3-0 result, AVB has his sights on a central defender to replace the outgoing Alex. So who should AVB look to? What about some tough Serbian or Italian master defender? Nope. Instead, AVB will look to the Premier League’s last placed team, whom have the worst defensive record so far this season. Gary Cahill, see you soon.

‘He’s a fantastic player because he plays for the English national team, a central defender of high qualities.’

Heskey plays for England. Heskey.