London Olympics 2012: Confessions from an ignorant Indian

No, I don’t read The Hindu. I don’t have the minutest idea about who’s going to participate in the Olympics from India. I know some Bindra dude won a medal a few years ago and that’s only because I see him in ads. I also see one more hunk on TV; the boxer guy, Vijendar I guess. But yes, that’s about it. And P.T.Usha, but wait, does she still run or is she a coach now? Okay, I’m trying to stretch my imagination as far as it can but I can’t come up with names. Oh yes, Jeev Milkha Singh. Did play hockey or was he a runner? Not quite sure. Anyways, I won’t rack my brains further.

As I mentioned earlier, I don’t read The Hindu but the recent controversy on TV with TOI v/s The Hindu, got me all worked up and I picked up The Hindu. But believe me, I read it only to look intelligent. Yes we all do it. What I think is that more than 50% of the newspaper sales happen because CAT classes advise students to read newspapers and hence these IIM hungry keedas scurry to subscribe their copies. Not to digress, Olympics is something I relate more to General Knowledge rather than sports. I’ve never thought of it like it’s something tangible; the Olympics are held to organize Quiz competitions later, right?

How many gold medals did India win in the men’s featherweight boxing category in 2006 when you were preparing for your final exams? How many arrows did Bindra have in his quiver at 4.30 PM on 23rd July, 2004? Was he wearing blue coloured goggles? All these are fascinating questions! And that’s why the Olympics are held. I see no other perceivable reason. Are we supposed to play? I think I played one Olympic sport in school, Shotput but that was only so that I can know the weight difference between the shot for men and women. I play football but never considered it as an Olympic sport. Olympics means long jumps, javelin throws, archery and nose picking I think.

Any ways, every four years the Olympics appear and I become all patriotic listening to new themes (usually by A.R.Rehman) and I buy a flag (perhaps imaginary) and hope India wins a few gold medals. In my endeavour to come across as literate, I came to know that the 210 gm gold medal consists of only 6 gms of gold and the rest is silver and copper which is just ludicrous. Any sane minded Indian wouldn’t fight for a medal which is hardly what they claim it to be. There’s no resale value! Okay, so that’s almost all that I know about the Olympics. Let’s sing a few songs, circle around with the torch for a while and then lets call it wraps. We can start planning for the new theme song! And yes, catch Vijendar on TV, he’s so cute!