N Srinivasan asked to appear on Bigg Boss

Living up to its history of getting pig-headed, obstinate, argumentative stars who generally make fools of themselves to appear on screen – Bigg Boss contacted the ultimate big boss – N Srinivasan of the BCCI – to be a participant in its next season.

“We see Mr. Srinivasan sharing many of the traits of our previous competitors. Like Sunny Leone, he is known for spoiling the values of Indian youth. Like Baba Sehgal, he usually spouts a lot of nonsense. Like Vindoo Dara Singh, nobody had heard of him before his stint. And like Navjot Singh Sidhu, he’s insufferable,” said a Colors TV representative in glee.

Another member of the team explained in more detail. “We had criminals, models and item girls on the show. The only thing we needed was someone who had experience of running a large-level criminal organisation that was noted for looting. Dawood Ibrahim was a close second choice but we decided to go with Srinivasan given his current news value”.

Srinivasan himself is nonplussed. “Total nonsense. I deny all charges”, he said. When reminded that we weren’t asking him about the spot-fixing issue, he appeared flustered and said, “Oh? Ah? Ah… No, I think I’d be perfect for Bigg Boss. Firstly – ever since that idiot son-in-law of mine got entangled in this mess, I’ve had a lot of experience fighting with people in the same home. So I should do pretty well on the show. Hehe.”

Industry experts point out that he is likely to be a very clear champion for the next season. Said one gent from a leading entertainment weekly: “With corruption charges against him, conflict of interest charges, everyone from the sports minister downwards asking him to step down – and he still refuses to budge… We think these traits will make Srini Mama a fantastic option for the next leader of oppos… Oh, I mean… Bigg Boss contestant.”

When asked for comment, MS Dhoni said that he could not answer without the express permission of N Srinivasan, so just smiled. This was branded the ‘Manmohan Singh moment of the day’.

The question now remains, who will be the remaining contestants? If rumours are to be believed, there are attempts to make it a sports-only special. There are rumours that Gautam Gambhir and Virat Kohli will be introduced as roommates, that Luis Suarez will be the international participant, and, unfortunately, Karishma Kotak or Rochelle Rao could be one of the women.