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DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and as is written with a humorous intent, not to be taken seriously
Have you ever wondered what sportsmen could do after retirement ? And I’m not just talking about running back to their respective sports to become coaches or commentators. I’m talking about what you could see your idols doing once they quit and decide not to come back to their respective sport. So, let’s take a look at what players like Cristiano Ronaldo and Chris Gayle could be doing a few years from now.
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Cristiano Ronaldo – Fitness superfreak
CR7 is quite the fitness freak, we all know that. Well, what about life after retirement? Getting a gym trainer’s job could suit him well, so to say. Though I’m not quite sure there are a lot of people I know who could do a ridiculous 1000 squats a day. I my self would collapse after 5 (how sad is my case, all those punishments at school for not having done my homework haven’t helped me in this case at all). So Cr7 would do well as s gym trainer showing off all those muscles and his 6-pack abs to encourage my peeps to loose their ‘family pack flabs’.
Notable mention(s): Mario Balotelli and Didier Drogba. For obvious reasons, Balotelli’s famous celebration at Euro 2012 against Germany was the source for many internet ‘trolls’ last year. And Didier Drogba is just your friendly neighborhood ‘Ivorian’!
Christopher Henry Gayle – Dance Choreographer
Opp opp opp, oppa Gangnam Style… maann!
I can almost imagine him saying this at a dance studio: “Ya maann, lift that leg up higher, shake that thing! The hands are supposed to be riding a horse”. I bet he’ll even give our very own Shaimak Davar a run for his money, West Indian style. Even if Brazil have almost stopped playing ‘samba’ style football, you can ensure Gayle carries on that tradition, albeit in a dance studio!
Notable Mention: Dwayne Bravo. The charismatic compatriot of Chris Gayle is a much better dancer, but of course he doesn’t have a massive frame to support. But his moves have caught the eyes of many dance instructors around the globe, and in India especially. I heard he entered Shaimak Davar’s office to discuss an opening! Wow, Gayle is in for a lot of competition it seems.
Fernando Alonso – Indian Soap opera star
Maine trophy nahi jeeta maa, main nahi jeet sakta yeh trophy, mujhe baksh do!
You guessed right folks! Fernando Alonso could well be on his way to Indian cinema, as a television actor of course. After some spirited performances on screen where she saw him shedding tears, Ekta Kapoor has decided to cast Alonso in the upcoming serial – Kyunki main be kabhi world champion tha! So gear up for a whirlwind performance from the best weeper on track! (Standing ovation would do. If you don’t give even that, he may start crying as soon as he is introduced).
Notable Mention: Andre Agassi. Well, a legend on the tennis field, but could be a bigger legend on screen. Could even turn out to beat Alonso to the race of becoming the lead in Kapoor’s serial, which is expected to go on floors this fall. A tight race to the finish, be sure you catch the preview of KMBKWCT on June 30 at 9:30 on K Tv.
‘SIR’ Ravinder Jadeja – Rajinikanth’s ideal replacement!
Enna ‘Batsmenna’? MIND IT!
A list like this can’t be complete without “Sir” himself. His ominous presence on social networking sites in almost every troll available makes him the leading man to take up the mantle of ‘legendary troll master’ Rajini Saar! A source of laughter most of the time, Sir could feature in a Tamil cinema, one which Rajini saar would do. And maybe after a long time, and after hearing a lot of jokes about himself on the internet, you might hear him say – “Kanna MIND IT! I have done those things before in my life, they aren’t jokes!” As of now, he might be telling Michael Clarke, ‘Enna Batsmenna? MIND IT!
Notable Mention: Rohit Sharma – his comparison to ’2 minutes mein maggi ad ‘ for staying at the crease for a mere 2 mins when playing for India gets him to this coveted list of superstars. He isn’t in the same class as Rajini or even Sir for that matter, but he could full fill the role of Amitabh Bachchan on the Maggi Ads.
John Terry – The heir to Hugh Hefner’s role as Playboy’s boss!
I think I’ll pick that girl in pink in the corner there, she seems young and cute. HEY! wait, I think its someone’s wife too!! ;)
John Terry – England and Chelsea‘s legendary ‘playah’! (oops! defender).”His eyes are like a Hawk’s!” said Bridge, as he only wished to convey that JT has very good ‘vision’. “His abilities are the stuff of legends” said Perroncel, pointing to his footballing, of course. Playboy magazine might prosper under him. With a reputation like his, I can’t see many to take up the mantle from the ‘evergreen’ current owner of Playboy!
Notable Mentions : Tiger Woods. The American golf champion does have a little poke here and there, and well, he might just end up doing a Hugh!(I did mean taking over the empire and nothing more)! Getting all those ‘birdies’ may not have been too hard for Tiger, right? After all, he is the world champion, you know!
And the best for the last – Drum rolls, please!
Lance Armstrong – Underworld Drug Dealer!
Oh no! They’ve caught wiff of my distributers!.. No matter, I’ve got few more that could do the job!
Performance enhancing indeed! Lance Armstrong has now decided to launch his own brand of drugs, called ‘Lance’s Magic Wand’! And you can find them easily too. All you need to do is win a few Tour de France titles illegally and he’ll call you himself. And guess what, he’s ready to throw in a few Oprah shows for confessions and also a coveted Livestrong band saying, “Welcome to the league, my friend”! And guess what, you get a stylish cycle and a dedicated Facebook ‘confessions’ page with that. How about that for a combo? I guess Vijender Singh heard about all that and decided to give it a go! And the Punjab Police are hot on his trail.
Notable Mention : No one beats or even comes close to the cyclist on this one!
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and as is written with a humorous intent, not to be taken seriously
