Satire: The Real Face of Indian Olympic Association

The future of the world looks uncertain, the future of this nation looks uncertain, and likewise, the future of India’s Olympic participation looks uncertain too. “Enough is enough, let us part ways” are the words commonly uttered by separating lovers. Ironically, this scene bore perfect resemblance to the current scenario of IOA (Indian Olympic Association), IOC (International Olympic Committee) and our government.

The ban on IOA is hardly two months old, but the effect of the ban is set to haunt the next generation too.

But IOA is holding steady by not obeying the Olympics sports conduct rules in its office elections by following the quote “Every dog is a lion at home” and they are confident in their decision to put a full stop to India’s Olympic dreams.

Right or wrong, everybody seeks a bail plea or appeal against the judgement when they face the consequences. But IOA is different, as they did not move towards the court of Arbitration of sports and did not lay down their differences with IOC. Instead, the IOAthinks that they held their head high. This ban may now force IOA to start their own multinational sports and games events like Olympics to prove their mettle to IOC. May be the event will be named as AOG (Anti-Olympic Games). It is our natural and as well as national habit to start our very own organisation or own party if we are thrown out from one party or organisation, and we also consider our previous boss as our arch rival.

In the AOG, the members may be from previously and currently banned countries by IOC. And also there will not be any wondering, as IOA may seek the help of holy-spirit Kalmadi, Chautala, Lalit Modi or even Lance Armstrong.

The IOA will welcome not only humans but each and every creature of god to come and participate in the AOG. The main virtue of being an AOG player is that they need to be a tainted athlete.

In AOG, both winners and losers will be awarded medals and they will make sure of high cash prizes for their performance. Here, losers are awarded not at the prospect of winning next time but on the support they provide to AOG. In the history of world games and sports events, AOG will be the first and only games where the winner’s face will be carved on the medal itself. This medal will be a rare and distinct honour to them. The players will be allowed to party late night. The players will also be allowed to take part with the intake of EPO (performance-enhancing drug).

Here, the IOA will try to make a statement to IOC that they are not cowards but “heroes” in facing tough situations.

Most probably, IOA will consider India as their home land before expanding their campaigns to all other continents and even other planets and galaxies. Though Olympic Games are played once in four years, the AOG may be regularly played at a gap of a year or two.

There will be no big problems for IOA in finding title and other sponsors, since they can find more people who can donate them enough money for conducting a multinational event.

The IOA might start a new worldwide channel to globalize and popularize the Anti-Olympic Games among the doors of the millions of hearts living around nooks and corners of this world.

With the high and clever thinking, the IOA-led AOG will soon sail past the Olympic games to emerge as the world’s biggest multinational event.

The IOA might be thinking of echoing Julius Caesar words, “He came, He saw, He conquered”.

But the thoughts of fans and players will similarly echo,“We owed, We followed, We suffered and will suffer”.

Disclaimer: The above article is a work of fiction and is not to be taken seriously.