The Day I Tried To Teach My Aunt Cricket

“Football is a game simpler to explain and enjoy than cricket” – Anonymous

My stadium for the world cup final match was my uncle’s 40” LCD TV. I had for company a 5 year old who would dance around when ordered to, an 8 year old who knew Sachin Tendulkar, Yuvraj Singh and Sreesanth, my younger brother who was surprisingly under the influence of world cup fever, my 37 year old cousin sister who is an avid cricket cum football fan and my uncle, an early septuagenarian who just loves sports. I thought I was in for a gala world cup final – but little did I know that I would be spending close to 1 hour explaining cricket to my aunt who decided to join us.

As the game was about to start we broke the news Sreesanth is playing. Since he is pretty much a household name and at the end of every other text message circulated in the state, my aunt decided to join us for the game. As she came and sat down we told her Sreesanth just finished his over and Zaheer Khan would be bowling now. Before we could finish saying this she asked – “So I can’t see Sreesanth any more”. This brought us to the first concept of cricket – A bowler bowls 10 overs a game and all that gyan. She seemed happier but lamented unlike football players were not always in action.

Is this game confusing?

In the 4^th over she witnessed Sreesanth bowl and her first comment was he better get a haricut if he wants a decent bride. She was happier commenting on Sreesanth’s off field incidents rather than the final. Then came the most interesting concept of the day. Just as Sreesanth bowled a no ball all of us had our hands over our heads. So now the problem was she couldn’t understand what a no ball was. Despite repeated explanations by all of us her simple question was a no ball meant No – Ball and that is at the best meaningless since the ball was still there. Luckily he did not ball a wide ball.

Her first spell with cricket got over as soon as Sreesanth was taken out of the attack. She came on next when India started batting. Due to some mandatory rules at home, dinner is served only at the dining table. So we missed the batting for some good 5-6 overs during which she said she would update us with the scores. Just as we started eating she announced Dhoni is out. We all sprang up from the table and rushed to the TV. Dhoni had just got beaten by a delivery from Perera and she concluded he was out. Thus started the last of the gyan sessions – modes of dismissals 101. She was so fed up by it that she got up and said – “Cricket should have been like football where the only aim is to score goals. This game is very confusing. No wonder people go crazy over it in India.” There ended her tryst with cricket.