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On Thursday, March 27, Garosero Research Institute released an alleged diary entry made by Kim Sae-ron in 2023, which was a handwritten letter to ASTRO's Moobin after the news of his death. The actress and the idol were known to be close friends during their time as fellow child actors and then being housed under the same agency, Fantiago.
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The two also starred in the 2015 K-drama series To Be Continued, alongside another ASTRO member Cha Eun-woo. In the alleged letter, the actress talked about how she was in a similar position as the idol when he decided to take his own life, struggling with loneliness in the entertainment industry and the media pressure it resulted in.
She not only talked about how she missed the idol after hearing about the news of his death, but also confessed that she was tempted to follow him in his decision. Here is part of the alleged letter she wrote, according to Garosero Research Institute:
"I tried to choose death because things were so difficult, but then I heard news about you. I know better than anyone, just how scary and lonely that decision must’ve been, so I can’t bear to ask you why. But did you know, I strangely missed you all of a sudden that day? I was going to call you, but I couldn’t in the end. I regret that so much. I probably couldn’t have stopped you, but you might’ve postponed it for a day."
She continued:
"For me, when today passes, tomorrow comes. I live day to day, barely getting by. Were you like that too? Every day, every moment, I’m so tempted to follow after you. Don’t be lonely — I think I had been going through too much myself to have stuck by your side and comforted you. If you get lonely, come see me in my dreams. Then, I’ll be by your side and listen to what you have to say, just like you did for me.”
Garosero Research Institute releases Kim Sae-ron's alleged letter to ASTRO's Moonbin following the news of his death
In the alleged letter of Kim Sae-ron to ASTRO's Moonbin released by Garosero Research Institute, the actress continued to express how the idol and his fellow members were like a family to her that she had known for long.
She also discussed feeling like she took the relationship for granted, but much of her worries were sorted when the group officially debuted and succeeded in the industry.
Kim Sae-ron also talked about when she saw the ASTRO members after Moonbin's death. At the time, she was heartbroken to see them trying to cope with his passing away. Therefore, in order to take care of the members, she decided to postpone her death despite the stuggles she was facing with the industry and the several negative effects it came with.
Kim Sae-ron continued to talk abut how she wished for the depression to have taken her away instead of ASTRO's Moobin. As she mourned his death, she also confessed that she was scared to make the decision about her death. Kim Sae-ron, then, opened up about her own struggles with her job and the pressures of the industry.
“I am so disappointed and disgusted by how I’m not improving, by how the media is targeting me with unverified attacks, how I am still unsatisfied. This is the job I have chosen, so I must be responsible for it. I also have my family, who are depending on only me, and my fans. But this must’ve been the same for you too. I’m not the only one who’s pain started the moment I achieved my dreams."
Kim Sae-ron continued:
"I’m not the only one who couldn’t say a word and rotted by myself. You probably tried to bear it pain day by day too. We should’ve come clean to each other, and cry until our throats give in, scream that we are having it hard. Although to be honest, I still can’t do it, I should’ve gathered you and the kids to do that. We didn’t want to worry each other, so we pretended to be strong and fine to each other, right?
Kim Sae-ron concluded her letter by bidding him farewell and conveying her regrets for not being there for Moonbin when he was struggling. She also added that she will be seeing him soon, hinting that the actress also had her thoughts on taking own life.
