"It was a very bad relationship"— Justin Baldoni opens up about being sexually traumatized by a former girlfriend

Justin Baldoni opened up about being in an abusive relationship, so emotionally abusive that at some point, he "lost any sense of self." The It Ends With Us star and director joined Elizabeth Day in the December 4 episode of her How to Fail podcast to talk about his experience being in a toxic relationship.

He recalled meeting a "beautiful young woman" while in college attending Long Beach State University. They met at Abercrombie & Fitch, and it wasn't long before a relationship started, but the actor recalled that he was in the relationship for the wrong reasons. He said he used it as a source of validation and to fill "a hole and void" because he didn't feel like he was enough. He further said:

"It was a very bad relationship, and I kind of contorted myself and my personality to be what she wanted."

Justin Baldoni recalled that he had "string values and opinions" going into the relationship, but those were "very easily manipulated." He added:

"A few months in, I completely lost any sense of self that I had left. And it got very emotionally abusive."

The actor further said that before he had experienced s*xual trauma in that relationship, he didn't think that a man could have that kind of experience "in the hands of a woman." Society, he said, made everyone believe that it was only the other way around, but in reality, Baldoni exclaimed that men can also experience s*xual trauma from a woman.

When talking about the s*xual trauma he experienced, the Jane the Virgin actor didn't elaborate but said that he was hoping to save himself for marriage.

---

Justin Baldoni opens up about his "near breakdown" while filming It Ends With Us

Besides directing It Ends With Us, Justin Baldoni starred in the film as Ryle, who gets into a relationship with Blake Lively's Lily that turns abusive. During his interview with Elizabeth Day, the actor opened up about filming one scene that led him to a near breakdown, and he had to leave. He recalled:

"There was this moment in the movie where Ryle finds Lily's phone and he finds a phone number and he's very jealous and he's heartbroken and he's angry and he doesn't harm her."

The actor remembered his character well, saying he didn't want to harm Lily, but something in his eyes showed that he was dangerous. He added:

"After that scene, I had a near breakdown. And I had to leave and just cry and shake because there was so much pain."

He also talked about the pain and trauma of his character in the podcast, saying what's "hard" about his character as Ryle is what he does is a result of everything he kept inside him. Justin Baldoni added that playing Ryle had made a lasting impact on him, saying:

"That was very hard and that took a few months. I had dreams of him for a while, and it lived in my body but I think for the most part, he's out."

As for directing It Ends With Us, Justin Baldoni spoke about how it was a lonely job. He said that being a director and leader of the movie kept him from sharing a lot of his insecurities and nervousness with the crew.