“I would feel guilty and ashamed” - When Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone opened up about dealing with fear as a child

Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone has established herself as one of the best 400m hurdlers to have ever taken to the track. While the American is now the very picture of confidence on track, she once opened up about dealing with extensive fear as a child.

McLaughlin-Levrone rose to fame as a teenager when she qualified for the Rio Olympics. Since then, she's gone on to compete at the Tokyo and Paris Olympics, setting numerous world records. In 2023, the 25-year-old released her debut novel, "Far Beyond Gold: Running From Fear to Faith."

In the book, among other aspects of her life, she opened up on her experiences with fear and guilt. She outlined who she was when she was younger, writing:

“Fear had always supercharged my conscience. If I did something that I knew my parents wouldn't approve of, I couldn't keep it from them. Even minor mistakes. If I was watching TV at my house or a friend's and something came on the screen that I knew my parents wouldn't approve, I would feel guilty and ashamed, and I couldn't let go of the anxiety until I'd admitted what had happened to my parents.”

Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone went on to write that a lot of her fear was due to a misunderstanding of "God’s character." She wrote:

“I feared correction. Being told no or that I was wrong cut me to the core. I wanted people to always be pleased with me. When something came about that could derail that, it ate at me. Looking back, I think a lot of that came from my misunderstanding of God's character. With an overemphasis on the judgment part of the gospel, I often didn't value God's other characteristics, such as love, grace, and forgiveness.”

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When Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone opened up on how her "instinct abandoned" her at 2016 Rio Olympics

Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone on how fear impacted her at the 2016 Games (Image Source: Getty)

In 2016, Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone, then 16 years old, finished third at the US Olympic Trials, becoming the youngest athlete to qualify for the US Olympic track team in more than 30 years. At the Games, she made it to the semifinal heats of the 400m hurdles, where she finished fifth.

In her book, McLaughlin-Levrone revealed that fear of running in the finals resulted in her instincts "abandoning" her in her semifinal race, writing:

“Halfway through the race, I was running well, within striking distance of the final. But at some point over the next 100 meters, my instinct abandoned me, and I was just left with my thoughts. It was the first and only time it’s ever disappeared on the track.”

She went on to add that she essentially "threw the race," writing:

“As I labored down the back-stretch, leaping over hurdles when necessary, I suddenly found myself without the need, or even the desire, to win. I found myself actually formulating full sentences inside my head as I endured one of the most physically grueling minutes in sports. ‘It’s been such a long season. I made it further than I thought I would. No one is going to be mad at me. Just be done’. And just like that, I threw the race.”

After the Rio Olympics, Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone found redemption at the 2020 Tokyo Games, setting a new world record of 51.46s in the 400m hurdles as she took the gold. Four years later, the hurdler improved on her feat at the Paris Olympics, winning gold and setting a world record of 50.37s. At both the 2020 and 2024 Games, McLaughlin-Levrone also helped the USA win the 4x400m gold medal.