"I've been in the dark, in the deepest part of the ocean" - Jordan Chiles opens up on experiencing suicidal thoughts

Jordan Chiles opened up about experiencing suicidal thoughts under one of her former coaches. The American gymnast later changed her coach and started training with Simone Biles.

Chiles is set for her debut memoir on March 4 and gets into detail about her abusive relationship with the former coach, referring to them as X in the book, per People. She also spoke with the outlet about her struggles, revealing that she felt like she was in the deepest part of the ocean.

“I wanted to get it off my chest. I wanted to let people know that I had really, really down times. I've been in the dark, I've been in the deepest part of the ocean," she said.

"[Writing about] it was hard at first. But I'm happy that I was able to revisit those things and I'm happy now that people get to read it and understand, and hopefully that gives them the confidence to be like, ‘You know what? Maybe I need to talk about something [too],'” she added

Chiles further revealed that the coach used to attack her race, her body, and her eating habits, and it resulted in an unhealthy relationship with food.

"This was a trauma, and I’m happy that I’m moving past it. I know that it’s healthy to eat and it’s healthy for my body," she added

The 23-year-old won her maiden Olympic gold medal last year when she helped Team USA reclaim the women's gymnastics title. She was earlier brought in as a replacement for Biles at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics and helped USA win the silver medal.

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Jordan Chiles pens an emotional message for UCLA Gymnastics after returning from a year-long break

Jordan Chiles during the UCLA v Washington - Source: Getty

Jordan Chiles took a year-long break from UCLA Gymnastics last year to prepare for the Paris Olympics. While Chiles won her maiden gold in Paris, she was stripped of her only individual medal less than a month after winning it. Chiles was devasted and said she lost her love for the sport.

However, she returned to UCLA in stellar form last month and is ranked No. 1 nationally in the floor exercise. Chiles credits Bruins teammates and fans for helping her find the joy again.

"Words can’t describe how grateful I am to be apart of such an amazing team!! @uclagymnastics you guys have made me re-love competing and being out on a competition floor and I thank you🫶🏽 it’s been 6 months and I finally found the joy again❤️ to the alum, fans, and student-athletes thank you 🙏🏽," Jordan Chiles wrote.

Chiles has often gone viral for her Prince-themed floor routines from UCLA meets. This season, she has earned two perfect 10 scores.