"A domino effect": The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On's Dave opens up about his and Vanessa’s early exit from the show

Reality television like The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On often presents intense situations that challenge the personal relationships of its participants. One such case occurred in season 3, where Dave Adams and Vanessa Hattaway decided to leave the show prematurely.

In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE on December 17, 2024, Dave opened up about the factors that led to this early exit, shedding light on the emotional challenges they faced. Dave emphasized that their departure from The Ultimatum was a personal choice driven by safety and emotional well-being, saying,

"It wasn't like a domino effect...So everybody's communicating one way or another."

He explained that their decision was influenced by a combination of concerns regarding their relationship, particularly the dynamics between Vanessa and her trial partner, Nick Tramontin.

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The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On Dave and Vanessa's early departure: Reasons and impact

Why did Dave and Vanessa leave early?

Dave, 34, and Vanessa, 30, entered The Ultimatum to strengthen their relationship, as Vanessa had given Dave an ultimatum to either get engaged or move on. However, after selecting their trial marriage partners and moving into separate homes, they both found themselves reevaluating their situation.

Dave shared that although leaving was not initially part of their plan, the decision was made due to multiple factors, including emotional and safety concerns. Dave underscored the situation, saying,

“But when we move out of the dating week and we move into trial partnership, you do get your devices back…And I think that was very important, because in my situation, there was an aspect of safety, and in Chanel and Micah’s situation, they had other things going on."

He explained further that the circumstances surrounding Vanessa's trial marriage with Nick contributed significantly to their decision to leave The Ultimatum. According to Dave, Vanessa faced emotional turmoil, which led to concerns about the safety and well-being of both herself and their relationship.

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The influence of Nick Tramontin

One of the key factors that influenced Dave and Vanessa's decision was Vanessa's interactions with Nick. Dave described Nick’s behavior as manipulative, which played a significant role in their early departure. Vanessa had learned that Nick misrepresented his background, exaggerating shared experiences to create a false sense of connection with her.

Dave described this behavior as a “red flag on fire,” signaling that there were deeper issues at play that made their continued involvement in the show untenable. Dave explained,

“There was a lot of untruths that Nick provided to get on the show through psych evaluations that he just wasn’t truthful about,”

Additionally, Dave explained that Nick's initial attempts to bond with Vanessa over shared experiences of being homeschooled were later found to be exaggerated.

“Vanessa found out a lot of information upon day one of moving in together, and that just immediately threw up more than a red flag, it was like a red flag on fire that we really needed to think about what's the best thing for our safety.”

He emphasized that this created a manipulative dynamic where Vanessa was emotionally drawn into the situation under pretenses.

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A lesson in relationships and personal growth

Reflecting on his time on The Ultimatum, Dave shared that the experience helped him gain new insights into relationships and personal growth. He emphasized the importance of focusing on the positive qualities in others, especially in the context of romantic relationships. Despite the challenges he faced, Dave underscored that it’s crucial to focus on what truly matters—recognizing the good in others, saying,

“I think it's about seeing the good in people, and everybody, including yourself and myself, have things that we wish we did better,”

Dave explained further explained, saying,

“But everybody does things that their partner doesn’t like. There’s also so many more things that your partner does that you love in them. So I think it’s a matter of focusing on those good things,”

In the end, Dave’s decision to leave The Ultimatum was a personal one, driven by a combination of factors related to his relationship with Vanessa, their well-being, and concerns about the safety of their emotional environment on the show.

As Dave put it, their primary motivation was ensuring their mental, physical, and emotional safety, which led to the conclusion that leaving was the best option for both of them.

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Don’t miss a moment of the drama, growth, and tough decisions! The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On Season 3 is now available for streaming exclusively on Netflix. Watch as couples navigate love, ultimatums, and second chances—stream the full season now!