"Had a lot of heartache" — Sister Wives star Meri reflects on divorcing Kody

Sister Wives season 19, episode 15, titled Faith Can Move Mountains, premiered on TLC on December 28, 2024. The episode featured a conversation between Meri and her two friends as she reflected on divorcing Kody.

Meri recalled that she and Kody were already going through a rough patch around that time. She hoped to postpone signing the divorce papers until she could get to a better place in their relationship. However, she felt that that would not happen and decided to go through the divorce process as soon as possible.

Meri shared that she had to go through "a lot of heartache" because she felt she wasn't getting emotional support from her fellow family members.

"Like, I had a lot of heartache around that because I honestly, I didn't feel like, emotionally supported during all of that. And I didn't feel like I should be. Because it's not really a divorce," she said.

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"I was putting a lot of pressure on myself" - Sister Wives star Meri talks about the hardship of going through the divorce

In Sister Wives season 19, episode 15, Meri sat down with her two friends and talked about the emotional toll she had to endure during and after divorcing Kody. She described her divorce as a "super long" process, adding that within six months of their divorce, Kody stopped staying with her.

During that time, she speculated about Kody's intentions, questioning whether he might have already formulated a plan, thinking, "If I can just do this, it would make for an easy transition."

"That legal divorce was so impactful for me because when I got married, there was one ceremony. The ecclesiastical authority that married us had the legal authority to marry us as well," she later shared in her confessional.

She continued:

"So he performed the marriage, that was the religious and spiritual sealing as well as the legal ceremony, He signed the paper. We're done. So now we're basically on signing the paper."

The Sister Wives star further recalled that while she thought she still was spiritually married, she had a feeling that she was "getting rid of like the whole marriage."

She reflected on how difficult the situation was for her, adding that she had to constantly reassure herself, saying:

"No, it's not. We still have that spiritual marriage, and it's no different from what Christine, Janelle, and Robyn had experienced."

Meri explained that if she had considered herself not married after that moment, then she would have considered Janelle, Christine, and Robyn as not married. However, she admitted that she still had the emotions surrounding it.

Regardless, she added that Janelle, Christine, and Robyn would never understand her situation "because it was never part of their marriage."

"I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to be like, 'You were wrong for feeling like this. You should not feel like this'. I was also getting it from other members of my family. So I'm like, 'Why am I feeling like this? I shouldn't be feeling like this'. I was afraid because before that we had been kind of in a in a tough spot and I had kept putting off doing it because I wanted to be in more of a secure spot with him,' she continued.

The Sister Wives star recalled that she and Kody had been discussing the legal divorce for years, even before signing the papers. However, when it happened, she made the move and talked to the lawyer first.

Meri explained that she just wanted to sign the papers and get over with the matter.

"I kept thinking, if we can wait until our relationship is stronger, then I'll feel better about doing it and I'll feel more confident and I'll feel more secure in our relationship. But that was never going to happen, obviously. It was within six months that he quit coming around," the Sister Wives star conluded.

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Sister Wives season 19 episodes air every Sunday on TLC.