“Not my intention”— The Golden Bachelorette’s Pascal states he didn’t want to “hurt” Joan

Pascal Ibgui and Joan Vassos of The Golden Bachelorette (Image via Instagram/@pascalibgui)
Pascal Ibgui and Joan Vassos of The Golden Bachelorette (Image via Instagram/@pascalibgui)

The Golden Bachelorette is a reality dating show on ABC that follows Joan Vassos, a woman in her 60s, as she embarks on a journey to find love. After experiencing heartbreak in her previous relationships, Joan is given a second chance to meet potential suitors, many of whom are also navigating their later years and hoping for a meaningful connection.

Among the contestants is Pascal Ibgui, whose emotional exit during the overnight dates on The Golden Bachelorette left Joan questioning her worthiness of love.

In a heartfelt statement during the Men Tell All special which aired on November 6, Pascal clarified that it was never his intention to hurt Joan. He shared with host Jesse Palmer,

“I hope I didn’t hurt her — that was not my intention and she’s a wonderful woman,”

Pascal reflects on his journey and exit from The Golden Bachelorette

Pascal’s emotional departure and the impact on Joan

During the The Golden Bachelorette Men Tell All special, Pascal opened up about his decision to leave Joan during the overnight dates.

While he had a strong connection with her, Pascal acknowledged that he wasn't able to provide her with the emotional availability she was seeking. He explained to host Jesse Palmer,

“It was very difficult for me to say goodbye.”

Pascal went on to clarify that Joan’s feelings of unworthiness were “totally wrong.” He expressed that, despite his departure, Joan deserves love and was not to blame for the end of their journey together. Admitting that he struggled with opening up fully to her during The Golden Bachelorette, he added:

“I just wasn’t able to give her what she was looking for at the time,”

Pascal felt that had he been given more time, he might have been able to develop a deeper connection with Joan.


Pascal’s struggles with vulnerability and emotional walls

One of the key challenges Pascal faced during The Golden Bachelorette was his guarded nature. He shared that throughout his life, he had experienced emotional struggles that led him to protect himself from vulnerability.

Pascal shared with Jesse Palmer that he grew up in an environment where he did not feel loved by his parents, which made it difficult for him to trust and express his emotions freely.

Despite this, Pascal reflected on how Joan’s presence on the show helped him grow emotionally. Recognizing that he had begun to break down the walls he had built around himself, Pascal said,

“Joan gave me the understanding of where I’m at now,”

Joan’s openness and vulnerability helped Pascal see the importance of embracing his emotions. He credited her for teaching him that it is acceptable to show vulnerability, especially in relationships.

During the Men Tell All special, Pascal also shared a powerful moment with his son, Maxim. Maxim praised his father for breaking down societal expectations of men, particularly the belief that men should not cry or express their feelings.

Pascal’s emotional journey, both on the show and with his family, became a testament to the healing power of vulnerability. Pascal said,

“It’s OK to cry; it’s OK to let it go,”

Joan’s reaction and the final moments between them

In a poignant The Golden Bachelorette reunion on stage during the Men Tell All special, Joan and Pascal came face-to-face for the first time since their emotional goodbye. Joan reflected on their hometown date, expressing how much she enjoyed spending time with him and meeting his family.

Acknowledging the strong connection they had developed before his exit, Joan shared,

“I pictured a life with you,”

Joan also expressed understanding regarding Pascal’s decision to leave, recognizing that the overnight date and the Tahitian bonding ceremony had been difficult for him. Joan said,

“I know that that Tahitian bonding ceremony was very uncomfortable for you....I thought maybe in fantasy suites we could’ve figured out something in either direction, but you had already made up your mind.”

Despite the emotional farewell, Joan reassured Pascal that she only wanted the best for him, and she wished him happiness moving forward.

Both Pascal and Joan’s words reflect mutual respect and an understanding that their paths, although not aligned on The Golden Bachelorette, contributed to each of their journeys.

The nuances of their connection, alongside Pascal’s personal growth, made a notable impression on the experience of both contestants and viewers.


Catch the Men Tell All episode of The Golden Bachelorette, which aired on Wednesday, Nov. 6, from 8 to 9:30 p.m. EST on ABC.

Don’t miss the season finale, After The Final Rose, airing Wednesday, November 13, where the journey wraps up with unforgettable moments and reflections.

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Edited by Prem Deshpande
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