“You’re a grown man”: 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way star Shekinah criticizes Sarper for ripping out her hair extensions

In the September 9 episode of 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, tensions escalated between Shekinah and Sarper, as the two sat down to confront their relationship's turmoil. In their first face-to-face meeting after Sarper ripped out Shekinah’s hair extensions during an argument, the couple addressed the conflict.

Shekinah expressed her anger and disappointment, making it clear that his actions were not acceptable. Sarper, overwhelmed with regret, admitted his mistakes, but Shekinah did not hold back in criticizing him. In the recent 90 Day Fiancé episode, she told him bluntly:

“You’re a grown man. You need to know you don’t make a woman happy by lashing out in anger.”

Sarper’s aggressive behavior in pulling out Shekinah’s hair during a heated argument became a pivotal moment, pushing Shekinah to reconsider the relationship in 90 Day Fiancé.

Despite the tension, Sarper's regret and plea for forgiveness prompted Shekinah to give him a second chance, though with clear conditions.

The 90 Day Fiancé confrontation

Shekinah expresses her hurt

After spending a few nights away from Sarper in a hotel, Shekinah agreed to meet him at a cafe, where the conversation quickly turned tense. Sarper began by sharing his struggles, telling her:

"I can't sleep... I'm overthinking non-stop."

This attempt to garner sympathy did not sit well with Shekinah. Sarper seemed to miss the point, asking why Shekinah wasn’t feeling sorry for him, to which she sharply responded by reminding him of his actions. She interrupted, stating:

“I do not care about all of your ailments that are a result of your actions.” Why would I feel sorry for you? You should feel sorry for what you did."

The argument revolved around an earlier incident in which Sarper pulled out Shekinah’s hair extensions. During that argument, Shekinah had asked for a vanity but didn’t like the one Sarper chose for her, which led to a heated altercation.

She was visibly upset that Sarper hadn’t even asked if she was okay after the incident where he ripped her hair extension out, further fueling her frustration.

Sarper attempted to explain himself, claiming that the act was an accident, but Shekinah’s trust had already been damaged.

Sarper admits stress over their future

90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way star Shekinah and Sarper (Image via Instagram/@90dayfiance)

Sarper admitted that his stress over their future caused him to lash out in anger. He told Shekinah that he had been under pressure, especially regarding his K-1 visa application to move to the U.S. and the uncertainty of their next steps as a couple.

He confessed:

“Help me. Show me the way.”

She responded that he's a grown man and he should know. She continued to express her frustration, revealing that she felt "stupid" for being there and wondered if she had made a mistake in staying with him.

Sarper, realizing the gravity of the situation, admitted to his faults saying that he overreacted, acknowledging that his stress about their future had led him to behave poorly.

He even admitted to regretting their arguments and expressed his remorse, but Shekinah’s patience was wearing thin.

She explained that each time Sarper showed his anger, it changed the way she saw him. She said:

“Eventually my emotions and feelings towards you are going to completely change, and I don’t want that to happen.”

Shekinah draws comparisons to her past

During their emotional discussion in 90 Day Fiancé, Shekinah brought up her previous toxic relationship with a man who had a bad temper.

She admitted that she had once been fearful in that relationship, and now Sarper’s actions were triggering those same feelings. Shekinah through tears said:

"Love is not enough."

She wanted Sarper to understand that his actions were pushing her away and that she couldn’t allow herself to fall into the same patterns she had vowed to avoid.

Sarper, recognizing the seriousness of Shekinah’s concerns, expressed his regret. Trying to convey how deeply he cared about her and how much he wanted to make things right. He told her:

“I love you more than I love myself,”

However, Shekinah’s boundaries were clear. She wasn’t willing to tolerate disrespect, not only for her sake but also because she wanted to set an example for her daughter.

She confessed that, as a mother, she always thought about what she would want her daughter to tolerate in her relationships, and Sarper’s actions were unacceptable.

Shekinah’s decision to forgive

Despite everything, Shekinah decided to give Sarper another chance. She acknowledged her love for him but made it clear that this was his last opportunity to prove that he could change. She said:

“If you show me that bad side of you again, it’s over.”

Sarper seemed to understand the gravity of the situation and agreed to go to therapy both with her and on his own, hoping to get his emotions under control and rebuild their relationship.

Shekinah was cautious in her decision, explaining that she had been through toxic relationships in the past and had promised herself she wouldn’t repeat those mistakes. She said:

"I'm putting my foot down."

She also emphasized that she was doing so because of her daughter, ensuring that her actions aligned with the kind of example she wanted to set for her.

Sarper’s promise to change

Sarper promised that everything moving forward would be about Shekinah, expressing his desire to make things right. Shekinah, while still wary, shared that she wanted to believe he could change. She explained:

“The way he can show me that he learned anything is by changing, and I think he will if he loves me as much as he says he does.”

Sarper agreed to seek therapy and admitted his mistakes, showing his intent to address the issues in their relationship.

Shekinah decided to forgive him, establishing firm boundaries and making it clear that any recurrence of his anger would lead to the end of their relationship on 90 Day Fiancé.

90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way airs Sundays at 8 p. EDT on TLC. Tune in to follow the latest developments in the couples' journeys.