"Their lives aren't stable"— Tori Spelling feels like she has let her children down amid divorce from Dean McDermott

Tori Spelling got emotional while opening up about her children amid her divorce from Dean McDermott. On the latest episode of her misSPELLING podcast on Friday, December 6, 2024, the former 90210 star detailed how her split from McDermott after 17 years of marriage is affecting her and her kids.

Spelling, who shares five kids with her McDermott, said that they lost stability at home amid the divorce. She said:

"Their lives are not stable. The love's there, but they're on this rollercoaster with me, unfortunately."

She expressed that the instability is something that still "constantly" makes her feel like she's letting the kids down. Spelling further mentioned that she's leaning more on her eldest daughter since the split, adding that her teenage daughter, Stella, has been acting as a second mom to the other four kids. She stated that the kids live with her, and Stella is often a stand-in when she's busy at work and gone all day from the house, saying:

"As a single mom providing for them, there's times when I'm working and I'm hustling. In the last three months, I've really been working my b*tt off, and I'm super grateful for that work."

While speaking about Stella in the podcast, the 90210 star said:

"She calls herself this, my 16-year-old, who is my eldest daughter, has always said, 'I'm the second mom,' and she really is."

She said that her eldest is still in junior high school and has a "full plate," so she feels like she's putting her job as a mom onto her daughter, which she added "feels bad inside." However, Tori Spelling went on to say that she doesn't have the luxury of having babysitters or housekeepers, and her eldest daughter has to act as a mom in the house.

Tori Spelling's reflection on the new family dynamic comes about nine months after filing for divorce from McDermott and over the year since their split, which she listed in the filing as June 17, 2023.

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Tori Spelling says she's been in "fight or flight" mode since the divorce from Dean McDermott

Since her split with Dean McDermott and the subsequent divorce filing, Tori Spelling opened up about not having time to prioritize herself and her mental health. She said on her podcast on Friday, via a recording of a therapy session with psychotherapist Dr. Hillary Goldsher, that she had a lot to unpack being a single mother with five kids. She said:

"I'm not saying poor me—here I am defending myself again—but I feel like since my soon-to-be ex-husband and I separated, it's been fight or flight. It's been constant with five kids. And whether it's emotionally, physically, financially, we've just been going."

She also talked about people labeling her as "wealthy, "entitled," or a product of "nepotism" in Hollywood. Spelling noted that while things look great on social media, it's not what's really going on and that what lies behind all the good stuff is something that her key circle only knows about.

As for her kids, Tori Spelling ended her podcast on Friday, sharing her concerns that they would feel, deep down, that they were abandoned. Because of work, she said she couldn't give her children "individual attention on a daily basis" despite wanting to. It's something that she said she feels "super guilty" about because she's been incredibly busy the past three months.