40+ CLEVER COMEBACKS THAT ARE SAVAGE

We’ve all said a thing or two we regret and that we wish we could take back. And sometimes there are people there to witness it and give us savage burns that are so epic.

But when it’s on the internet, everyone can see it. These people posted ridiculous things online and they were served clever comebacks. You’re going to need an ice pack to get over these burns!

God’s Plan

Getting in a car accident is a traumatic experience, both physically and emotionally. Some people barely survive one—after surviving seven in one year, we’d also think there was some divine intervention happening.

However, if you look at this situation from a different perspective, it seems awfully unlucky to get into so many accidents in the first place. Either this girl needs to learn how to drive better, or simply stay far away from the road.

Marvel vs. DC

Marvel and DC Comics fans have a rivalry that matches that of the superheroes and their greatest enemies. And this tweeter claims that the DC Comics squad would make defeating Thanos, a supervillain to the Avengers, look easy.

Chuck Pilgrim snaps back with a simple burn about the success (or lack thereof) of DC Comics movies. As the most trusted reviewer of movies, Rotten Tomatoes has quickly become the biggest enemy of the Justice League.

Going Out or Waiting Tables?

The world has become much more casual and we have fewer occasions to dress to the nines. But this person seems to have gotten a bit confused.

What seems like a sleek button-up and vest can easily be mistaken for a waiter’s uniform at a restaurant, as this person pointed out. They'll have to hang around the Olive Garden to see men dressed up like this every day. At least then they can get some endless breadsticks too!

When Things Get Heated

To this man, solar panels are useless in the winter and whoever suggested using them was clearly wrong. Luckily, Emily responded with facts about why solar panels are useful, even in the winter. He should probably do his research before he tweets.

We don't blame him though; maybe his lack of solar panels in the cold is making his brain go a little numb…

Down With the King

Isn’t it so interesting that the British Museum has collections of objects from all over the world? And that there have been multiple unsuccessful campaigns to try and have these objects repatriated to the rightful owners?

Going to the British Museum might be an experience that evokes curiosity and education for those visiting, but as this commenter reminds us, let us be reminded that they are not actually British objects.

SallyWise

We’re never ready for those ads that pop up on our computer, trying to sell us something naughty that we are absolutely not interested in. However, we had to do a double-take when we saw this post.

Something about this girl looks awfully familiar, as if she is coming from our nightmares, or just a really scary movie about a clown that terrorizes young children.

Aesthetic Preferences

Every dog and cat should receive love from a person that will be generous and loving. This particular shelter posted this exchange with a woman who had very specific preferences.

When the shelter responded with the exact thing that Catherine had sent to them, she was much less understanding. It’s crazy has something sounds when it is said back to you. What a savage response!

Good Try, Bozo

Realizing your bike has been stolen is so disappointing, especially when you rely on it for transportation. However, realizing that you can’t read handicap signs is perhaps more disappointing.

While the sign was put up with good intentions, it took this second sign to point out what should have been obvious: the city rightfully took it so that those who are handicapped have access to their parking spaces. Thanks to the second sign, we understand the real situation.

Best Roast in History

Thank you, sir, for the opinion no one asked for. Richard is not only explaining why women do the things they do but also seems to know everything there is to know about what is attractive throughout history.

Not to fear. In swoops the historian, who doesn’t even need to correct Richard, but gracefully owns him. How is he going to generalize what all men find attractive when he was just destroyed in front of the entire internet?

You Can’t Handle the Truth!

Fact-checking is necessary with so much false information floating around. But it gets annoying when everything you are writing or reading keeps getting flagged.

This may be a radical solution, but posting the truth just might get rid of the fact-checkers. We’d love to see what this person responded to the comment because we are sure this is not what they wanted to hear.

Gold Digger

Winning the jackpot would be life-changing for anyone. You probably have been asked hypothetically what you would do with the money if you won. The jackpot is a big deal—big enough to reconsider some major decisions.

But how do you come back from breaking up with someone without seeming like you are just coming back for the money? Timothy has an idea: he's pregnant and it’s their baby. Now they have to get back together. Problem solved.

You Are Not the Father

If you have ever seen the show Maury, or one like it, you know all about how dramatic it is when the biological dad of a baby is revealed.

This poor guy clearly understood that the DNA test was worth it and saved him 18+ years of raising someone else’s kids. Even the medical bills to nurse his bruised ego were probably cheaper than that.

Laughing Out Loud

Personality goes such a long way. Not everyone is obsessed with the way their partner looks, as long as they enjoy who they are on the inside. Clearly, this is something this person has trouble understanding.

This responder knows the power of a good sense of humor. If someone is funny, they are instantly more attractive (especially if your eyes are closed from laughing). We love this “scientific” point.

Getting Deep

Have we told you that all lady parts are beautiful, no matter how they look and feel? Well, this guy seems to think that they all feel the same. We can't think of a more guy thing to say.

We couldn't have said it better than Ebony. If you're lucky enough, you'll be able to reach deeper, in more ways than one.

More Bitter Than Coffee

People can be so rude when they haven't gotten their coffee yet. This store decided to charge for coffee based on how polite people were to their servers. And when we saw this entitled comment, we understood their need for a sign like this.

Don’t worry because someone else put them in their place: all the way at the bottom of the barrel, where all the rude, entitled, get-charged-five-dollars-for-a-coffee people, go.

Male-d It

Most superheroes are men. It’s a fact we’ve all grown used to, and seemingly accepted. However, we’d run to the theaters as fast as we could if they released a marvel movie with all women.

Screenshot from "Avengers: Endgame Behind the Scenes - Marvel Sisterhood (2019) | Fandango Now Extras" Via Vudu/YouTube

We’re not sure why this person seems offended simply by the idea of an only-women cast, but we do know that the fact they tried to pull out was wrong. Thanks to IGN for their quick search and even quicker comeback.

Chocolate and Manila

While going through their divorce proceedings, this woman demanded from her soon-to-be-ex-husband $5,000 in child support every month. In response, the husband handed over a folder.

When the magistrate opened it, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Inside, was a paternal test the husband had done without his wife knowing, showing he was not the father of the children, and therefore, didn’t owe her any money. Everyone was shocked, but the husband just walked away without another word.

Snowy Weather

No one likes people who are entitled and rude, no matter their beliefs or ideals. Still, how can you call someone out for being annoying when your own actions show you’re not much different?

As much as this woman would love to thow a fit about an abundance of nsowflakes in the middle of an Los Angeles summer, this guy is ready to recall a memory that makes her own qualms seem quite foolish.

A Proposed Plan

A marriage proposal should happen in its own time, so the weight of the event can be understood and appreciated in its entirety. Adding it on top of an award or major event in your girlfriend’s life is probably not the best time to pop the question.

However, even if your boyfriend doesn't necessarily read the room and asks you at the wrong time, we wouldn’t say that calls for the end of your relationship. People are so harsh these days.

Not Cool

It’s always hard to gamble just what temperature you’ll be in the office on a day-to-day basis. It’s always good to have a layer or two as backup, just in case you need to add some warmth.

Just to double check, we are just talking about the air conditioners in office buildings, right? Why is everyone getting so heated? This feels like an argument that took way too much energy to even write about.

Woke Up

Friends are great for keeping us in check. They make sure we don’t get into trouble, and save our butts when our own bad behavior starts to make others upset.

Image via Imgur; Screenshot from "Home Improvement"

Someone should take Twitter away from celebrities, before every one of them starts to taint our fond memories of their performances. This isn’t even the worst tweet we’ve ever seen, but it’s just so unnecessary. Maybe Tim should hang out with RiIchard Karn again soon to keep him from behaving badly.

Home Improvements

If a date is going well, you might not want to stop hanging out with that person. Bring them home for a nice glass of water and some home improvements.

Hey, if it came up in casual conversation and he offered to help, there’s no need to be upset. However, if she only brought him home to fix things she had no idea how to do, then we have a problem. This person has a great point—let’s be respectful of people and not make them do the things we’re too lazy to do.

I Like It Like That

Kids can be cruel, and many of us are no strangers to getting bullied. Words can hurt, but if you find yourself in a situation where someone is hurting you, here’s a little tip.

All you have to do is tell them that you’re getting worked up by what they’re doing. No bully would know how to deal with someone who actually gets all hot and bothered when they’re being shoved around. Protect yourself, kids—tell your bullies you like it like that.

The Dark Knight Falls

It’s always fun to pit two superheroes against each other to compare their powers and strength. But in this case, someone couldn’t even hide their disbelief at the comparison. In their opinion, there is no competition.

There aren’t too many people that Thor's hammer couldn’t defeat. But this commenter did Batman dirty, reducing him to just his outfit and his scratchy voice. The real question is, who would win the fight, Batman or this comment??

We Want a Prenup

Expecting your partner to cover the entire rent is a privileged mentality. Eden clearly expects a lot from her husband and is even threatening to leave him for expecting an equal contribution to the relationship.

This response is so good. Where would she go then? If she can’t afford to split rent with her husband, she clearly won’t be able to afford anything on her own… Guess she should start figuring out how to pay half.

Mathematical Evidence

We can’t go anywhere without our phones. This person addressed how unfortunate this fact is when he got a bit of a reality check.

Not only did this commenter respond by pointing out that this person was on his phone a lot, but he presented the internet with hard mathematical evidence that showed him just how addicted to his phone he is. Now that’s the way to roast someone.

Revved Up

Ah, yes. Someone who thinks that unnecessarily complicated things are going to be the downfall of the younger generations. This person responds with such a simple but powerful comeback.

And they’re right—the world changing has more to do with the influence of older people and less to do with the younger generations just living their lives. We mean, they are making cars that drive themselves now! Stick shifts are old and irrelevant anyways.

Find-a-Wife

Careful! According to this man, any woman you meet at a bar, nightclub, or on a dating app is not going to be your wife, even if you are at those same places looking to be a husband!

We don’t want to listen to anything this man says. And evidently, neither does Cameron. We argue this “your wife” joke might even be better than some of the “your mom” jokes we’ve heard.

Chivalry is Not Dead

There is something so romantic about having your car door opened for you. And while women are capable and independent on their own, some chivalrous actions are appreciated.

After this woman asked the internet about men opening car doors, this guy responds to the vague question with a hilarious and valid question of his own—of course, men open car doors… for themselves! Don't worry—chivalry is not dead!

'90s Rock and Roast

'90s grunge is making a comeback in a big way: flannels, chokers, you name it. But something that never goes out of style is absolutely owning your dad.

Not only is this daughter quick on her feet when it comes to good comebacks, but she also was able to roast an entire decade for their lack of technological abilities. Good try, Dad, but your daughter is too clever for her own good.

Getting Emotional

If you've ever taken a physics test, we're sure you've had a good cry while trying to make sense of its crazy theories and numbers. This is probably not the kind of book this account was looking for, but we understand the response.

The author of this physics textbook, however, dedicated his whole life to physics, enough to write a textbook on it! How could anyone be sad reading this amazingly interesting book of his?

Free Birth Control

These days, people are waiting longer to have kids to travel, make a career, or just do what they need to do. And have you ever babysat a kid that was just awfully behaved? It doesn’t exactly compel you to become a parent and give up your freedom.

This person expressed that seeing young people jump into families and have lots of children without being able to handle the responsibility really can be the best form of birth control.

Pretty People Problems

Pretty privilege is so real. People are so gorgeous on the outside that people flock to them. Their looks get them far enough that people don't realize they are actually quite dull. Ah, to be pretty and not worry about who you are on the inside.

This person must think they are beautiful enough to make up for being boring, but this commenter very concisely explains, that no, they are boring AND ugly. Ouch.

Feud at Riverdale High

Riverdale’s two main actors going at each other is so funny to us. Is it just us or are younger people looking older than we did at that age?

While KJ Apa probably could’ve beaten Cole Sprouse up easily, he couldn't have handled the riches Cole already made as a popular child actor. And KJ definitely couldn't have handled his quick wit either.

Netflix Without the Chill

This is such an innocent way to look at a situation. Honestly, we find it refreshing that this guy didn’t even think about doing any other activity while watching a movie. But when he blamed Netflix for their lack of interesting movies, Netflix had something to say.

You know you're clueless when Netflix’s Twitter has to point out the missed opportunity. It’s okay, Bryan, maybe next time you’ll get the hint.

Pikachu in the Wild!

Pokémon took over the lives of children everywhere in the 2000s. Maybe this concerned people enough that an entire study was conducted to find out the wildlife knowledge of these 8-year-old kids.

The reality is, when the only thing Pokémon creatures say is their species’ names over and over again, it makes sense that they’ll remember Bulbasaur over real animals that don’t yell their name at you.

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough

We love those lists of date ideas to do with your partner. But is going to the top of a mountain and risking your lives really appealing to people? Seems like an accident waiting to happen.

We don’t know how this guy is holding his girlfriend stable like that while sitting at the edge of a cliff. And we agree with Ariam that anyone with common sense would hopefully find a different activity to engage in.

He/His

When our modern day becomes too confusing, people are quick to reference the Bible. In this case, the old book was the perfect place to turn to in a time of need.

If you’re going to come up with an argument against acceptance of others, you probably shouldn’t use a figure that is said to love everyone. You heard it here folks—Jesus wants to normalize using pronouns.

Armed and Ready

It can be difficult to figure out the best way to design costumes and armor for women. No matter what you do, people will always have something to say about it.

Still, women have a little bit extra in the chest, which is an an area that feels extra important to protect. Don’t worry, they aren’t trying to focus on women’s bodies—they’re just trying to protect their curves.

Only Fans, No Dads

When you’re in the public eye, it seems you can’t away with anything, including giving your child affection. People have a whole lot say about Tom Brady’s parenting style, especially when some people would love to et any sort of affection from their father.

It’s pretty harsh to assume that just because this girl doesn't have a dad, she must have an OnlyFans account—unless of course, they’re right.

Getting Steamy

So many men strive to achieve a persona of masculinity and power. When putting these things into practice doesn’t work for you, you can always post pictures shirtless in a sauna to show just how tough you are.

Unfortunately for this Twitter user, the Internet is ruthless. If he had only checked that the thermostat wasn’t in the picture, he just might’ve gotten away with the intensity he was going for. Too bad someone pointed out he’s not even using a sauna correctly.

Broke Her Down

Life is difficult. While money can definitely make some things easier, it doesn’t guarantee happiness. Satisfaction comes from the people you spend your time with and the positive outlook you have—something this woman doesn’t understand.

Not only does she have a doting husband who works two jobs just to support his family, but she also has a true friend who tells her exactly what she needs to hear, even if its not what she wants to hear. Time to learn some gratitude.

Hard Way Out

This isn’t news to us—we all know beauty is pain, but what’s worse is that beauty is an empty wallet as well. Getting that first set of lashes is always exciting, until you realize they have to be redone every few weeks.

We love that this man is encouraging a healthy lifestyle and natural beauty, but unfortunately, societal standards of beauty have a completely different idea in mind of what looks best on a woman. Thank you for the suggestion we’ll be sure to keep it in mind.

Pull a Funny Face

If you put any password or fingerprint or photo on some device, the government has access to it. And now, even our phones have all of our information (including our faces) on them.

What this person points out is that we gave the government our faces long ago, when we first started putting photos on drivers' licenses. What's worse is that DMV pictures are usually the worse photos of you to exist. At least the government will get a good laugh.

Playing the Game

A pickup line is a tricky way to start a conversation with someone on a dating app—you have to watch out for ones that are overused or too forward. There’s a delicate balance to achieve with a pickup line.

This person hit the nail on the head with this one. Not only was she not expecting it at this point, but it was such a clever guitar joke that we are chuckling. Round of applause to this guy.

Money, Money, Money

When was the last time someone asked you what you needed and truly meant it? There are a lot of things that we know we need right now: a nap, emotional support, a drink…

But we have to admit, money would help to solve a lot of these problems for us. Like Lo, if you’re going to put your money aside, we will gladly, selflessly take it out of your hands and put it to good use.

Major Clown Energy

Listen, it takes a lot of guts to publicly ask for advice and expose the fact that your boyfriend is cheating on you. We can’t help but feel bad for Ronda.

The responder held nothing back. All we are saying is that if this is not what you wanted to hear, you probably shouldn't have come to the Internet for support. At least if she stays with them, she has a possible career ahead of her.

Stephen King’s Scariest Story Yet

We don’t know which part of this disturbs us the most: that he added no seasoning, that he cooked it in the microwave, or that he will “maybe add a salad.” Please eat your vegetables, Stephen.

Either way, this definitely feels like it was written by the king of horror. Like the responder says, in just a few short sentences, we are seriously chilled to the core from this barbaric way of cooking a salmon fillet.

High Standards

We’re supportive of knowing your worth and wanting to find a partner that is the best person for you. However, sometimes it seems that people have the wrong priorities, and are much more interested in material things than personalities.

After listing all of these requirements, this Twitter user received a comment from someone that really put her in her place. Who knew you could use tricycles as a way to absolutely roast someone?

Masters at Branding

The gaming world is split down the middle between those that are Xbox fans and those that play their video games on PlayStation. The gaming console you use says a lot about you.

Branding is a difficult job. Do you opt for simplicity—something reliable and expected? Or do you go for a bit more random, but bold? All of this depends on preference, and we’re not sure what we are drawn to more.

Fast-Walker Blues

There is nothing more annoying than when you are walking behind a slow walker or a family of them! If you have long legs, or just have somewhere you need to be, we know how frustrating this can be.

We aren’t sure how they conducted this study, but Shalina makes a great point. Maybe if we weren’t trapped behind a super slow walker, we would be happier. Makes sense to us.

Largest Invitation Ever

Sometimes, it's difficult to determine where cultural appreciation ends and appropriation begins. And when one person comments about a holiday their culture celebrates in a way that keeps others from enjoying it, who is anyone else to counter that?

That’s okay because Andy Wang has come and saved the Lunar New Year! This is his formal, global invitation, and now we are free to partake in the celebration alongside him!

Free English Lessons

Everyone is allowed to have their preferences when it comes to dating. But cutting out an entire group of people based on how good their English is, is just simply entitled. Especially when you yourself don’t know the rules of English.

Marquis was quick to point out Nicki's unnecessary redundancy and by doing this, called her out for the same thing she said she had a problem with. We love it when people set themselves up to be embarrassed.

Boring Nights In

People are so quick to have opinions about the decisions others make about their own lives. If you don’t have kids at the age of 25, you’re the “problem?” What problem is that exactly?

This responder did not get offended or defensive. He just pointed out that usually, the people who are judging others for their decisions are missing something from their lives. He at least gets freedom, both from kids and from judge-y people.

Double Standard

For a long time, girls have been fighting against bosses who tell them that their clothing is inappropriate. It’s time people stopped monitoring other people for the things they wear.

Pop off, king. If we don't want girls to be regulated for what they wear, we can't regulate men either. So, wear what you want. Rock those boxers outside if you want! And teach your kids not to stare!

The Right Kind of Gaslighting

To have a boss email you randomly one day to terminate your employment would be horrible. When this happens, pretending it didn’t happen is the only response.

Not only does this response allow the boss to rethink the way he goes about things, but the employee also was able to share a few choice words about what they think of their boss. We hope the boss felt guilty enough to rehire them then and there.

Roomba on the Loose

Roombas are so cute—they just roam around the house, vacuuming and going about their merry way. We worry about what would happen if they somehow escaped from the safe confines of a house into the wild.

We aren’t sure this is exactly what Aristotle meant, but it works both ways. Nature would probably hate a Roomba on the loose and this guy will probably have to fill in this gap (or vacuum, if you will) with another Roomba.

Playing With My Heart

We all want our husbands to know what to do when we are upset and not give up on us. But this can happen in a healthy way, right? We'd like to believe so.

As the responder says, if you have to block your partner at any point, that’s probably not a good sign. And if he doesn’t respect your boundaries and still finds a way to communicate with you, that’s also worrying. Does anyone else just want mature communication?

Getting Caught

It’s definitely happened to us: you looked at someone’s profile and now you're deep into the pictures they posted five years ago. It’s okay, as long as your finger doesn’t slip and you accidentally like one of those really old pictures.

But if you do, make sure you have a good response if they catch you. You could come clean and tell them you were stalking them. Or you could just give them a light insult. Your choice.

Fight for Your Right

Men have an invisible hold on everything in our society. The topic of opening and closing doors is hotly debated between women who want a gentleman to open their door and women who want to express their independence by opening it themselves.

This particular man thinks ahead, making the women he encounters fight for their autonomy and triumph over men. What a considerate guy.

Older and Wiser

This tweet was meant to be a profound statement, commenting on the difference between younger generations and those older and wiser. Young people are sure to get lost without the guidance of their elders.

But this response shows that while people may be older, they aren’t that much wiser. In fact, young people have Google Maps AND quick wit. Don’t worry, we are sure the youth will go far.

Calling Jake Paul Out

It is shocking to see a young kid walking around with the newest iPhone 13. Jake Paul seems confused about why young people are getting these phones so young these days.

This responder points out that the 10-year-old kids provide him with millions of dollars, all because they can watch his videos on the exact phones he is complaining about. His new tweet should be “yo I love that 10-year-olds got iPhones now.”

Reality Check

What someone does in their free time shouldn’t be a concern to others. If a man wants to play video games, he has every right to. What should "grown men" do with their time then?

Reality is hard. Sometimes we just need to distract ourselves with a video game or cover up what we look like with makeup. If you can’t handle the heat, get out of Twitter.

Shoot Your Shot

It takes a lot of guts to ask someone out when you know rejection is a possibility. This poor guy definitely has some guts to ask someone out at his place of work.

Now he has just set the two of them up for an awkward encounter at work every day. There’s not really a good way to tell someone you're not interested in them, but better to shoot them down quickly. That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

Only Men Can Mow Lawns

Are we still in a time where partners make their significant other do things? We thought the time had progressed where it was understood that people can make their own decisions. If a woman wants to mow a lawn, let her mow a lawn!

This responder explains how absurd this post is in the simplist way. It would save the rest of us from the ridiculousness of their thoughts. Actually, we would appreciate that.

No Flex Zone

Have you ever heard people brag about something and thought, this is not something to be proud of? Juju has us confused about why they would go through the effort to flirt with people if there is no point.

Evidently, Edward is confused too. While he might have thought he was showing how cool he was for flirting for fun, we think Juju is wasting his time and everyone else’s. It was a good attempt at flexing but fell pretty flat.

Hilarious Texts from Terrible Neighbors

If you couldn’t get enough of these people that were served clever comebacks after posting on the internet, don’t miss these texts from bad neighbors.

You’re not going to believe neighbors like this exist and you’ll be happy that you don’t live next to them.

Edited by Vishal Subramanian