We all know that being a star comes with challenges. The music industry's glittering facade often masks the difficulties of maintaining a marriage. Fame's demands, distractions, and relentless schedules can strain even the strongest of relationships.
This was certainly the case for country star Alan Jackson and his wife Denise, whose journey through stardom's ups and downs sheds light on the unique trials couples in the spotlight face. Let's dive deeper into the triumphs and setbacks of Alan and Denise Jackson's four-decade-long marriage.
A Star is Born
Born on October 17, 1958, in Newnan, Georgia, Jackson began his music career in the late 1980s and gained popularity in the 1990s with his traditional country sound and heartfelt lyrics. Alan Jackson is one of the best-loved and most influential country musicians of all time. His iconic white cowboy hat and blonde mustache are instantly recognizable.
No one could have known that he would still be popular well over 30 years after his introduction into the industry. So what's the secret to his success?
Topping the Charts
Always working on something new, Alan Jackson has recorded a whopping 21 studio albums, including two Christmas albums, two gospel albums, and three greatest-hits albums.
Some of his most popular tunes include "Chattahoochee", "Remember When", "Livin' on Love", "Don't Rock the Jukebox", and "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere". A whopping 66 of his songs have appeared on the Billboard Hot Country Singles & Tracks chart and out of these 66 titles, 35 have made it to the coveted number-one spot. But that's not all he's achieved!
Award-Winning Artist
As well as conquering the country music world, Jackson is one of the best-selling artists of all time, having sold over 75 million records worldwide. His music has clearly touched countless souls, as well as winning an impressive array of accolades including two Grammy Awards, 16 CMA Awards, and 17 ACM Awards.
But that's not all—he is also a member of the Grand Ole Opry and he was inducted into the Georgia Music Hall of Fame, the Country Music Hall of Fame, and the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame. While he's one of the most successful country music artists of all time, these days he's known for something else entirely.
40-Year Marriage
Today, one of Alan Jackson's biggest achievements in his life is his over 40-year-long marriage. Jackson married his childhood sweetheart Denise in 1979 and they’ve enjoyed a decade-spanning fairytale partnership, which happens to be one of the country music world’s greatest love stories.
Denise is the inspiration for many of Jackson’s songs and she played the role of the supportive wife who stayed behind with his three daughters when he went on the road. However, things weren’t always easy for the Jacksons.
Childhood Sweethearts
Alan and Denise grew up in the small town of Newnan, Georgia, and started dating in high school when she was 16 and he was 18. A model student, Denise was a cheerleader, tennis player, and top of her class.
Alan introduced himself to her in a way that definitely isn’t advisable these days—by tossing a penny down her shirt and asking if he could go and get it. When that didn't work, the future country superstar decided to hide in the back seat of her car where it was parked at the Dairy Queen, and when she got in to drive away, he jumped out and scared her. That's one way to make an impression.
Newlyweds
However, Denise was charmed by Alan’s bold behavior, and the couple was married in Newnan Baptist Church on December 15th, 1979. Straight out of high school, she was just 19 years old and he was 21.
Funnily enough, Denise didn’t need to change her last name as her maiden name also happened to be Jackson. The young bride got a job as a school teacher and the newlyweds continued living in Georgia for six years before heading to Nashville, Tennessee so that Alan could pursue a career in country music. However, they had no idea what was in store for them.
Times Were Tough
Like most newlyweds, Alan and Denise faced financial struggles at the start of their marriage. They lived in a basement apartment and Jackson got his first job in the mailroom of The Nashville Network—the cable channel that was to become Paramount Network.
Years later, when Alan won CMA's Entertainer of the Year award, during his acceptance speech he referenced those early years stating, "There is just one person I need to thank for this award. I married her when she was too young to know any better. I drug her away from her family and friends, miles away, and made her live in a basement for five-and-a-half years in Nashville, but she never complained about it.” However, what fans may not know is Denise was the one who made sure Alan got his lucky break.
Chance Encounter
When Denise was working as a flight attendant to help make ends meet, one day at the airport, she spotted none other than country star Glen Campbell. Not wanting to miss out on an incredible opportunity, she approached him and explained that her husband was an aspiring country singer.
Campbell gave her the business card of his manager and the next thing they knew, Alan was signed to Campbell’s Nashville-based publishing company as a songwriter. Even then, he didn't know that success that was waiting just around the corner.
Launching His Career
The aspiring singer-songwriter started releasing music as the first artist signed to the newly formed Arista Nashville branch of Arista Records. In 1989, Arista released Jackson's debut single "Blue Blooded Woman". Although the song failed to reach the Top 40 on Hot Country Songs, he reached No. 3 by early 1990 with "Here in the Real World". This song served as the title track to his 1990 debut studio album which included two more top-five hits and his first number-one, "I'd Love You All Over Again".
Alan finally found the recognition he always dreamed of but he couldn’t just focus on his career. There were other priorities he needed to devote his time to.
Growing a Family
During the 1990s, Denise gave birth to three daughters: Mattie Denise in June 1990, Alexandra Jane in August 1993, and Dani Grace in 1997. The couple was thrilled to welcome each child into the world, but they knew balancing family life with Alan’s newfound fame wouldn’t come easy.
He needed to take time to care for his daughters and spend time with his wife, all while continuing to build up his career. It was a challenging juggling act for the couple.
Life on the Road
Alan’s career continued to flourish and he was required to spend weeks away from his girls, touring and recording. He built an enormous plantation-style mansion inspired by Gone With the Wind for his family, and from the outside, it appeared as though they were living a fairytale life.
Alan didn't shy away from speaking about his hopes for his children. “People for some reason, because I’m a celebrity, want to put (me) on a pedestal. I hope it doesn’t change things or upset my children. That’s important to me,” he told The Spokesman-Review. However, Alan’s popularity was growing by the day and it wouldn’t be long before the pressures of stardom took their toll on the Jackson family.
Country Icon
Widely praised in the media as the latest country music dreamboat, Jackson started getting a lot of attention, particularly from female fans who loved his rugged charm and charismatic stage presence. At first, it didn’t bother Denise too much.
Life was good for the couple and she knew that Alan felt uncomfortable with this new aspect of his celebrity status. He downplayed his appeal to women and tried to just focus on the music. “I’m pretty much still a homebody type of guy,” he told The Spokesman-Review.
Denise’s Insecurities
"People are going to want to be with my husband. But you know, I can’t control anybody else. I can’t even control Alan. That’s something he has to work out himself," Denise Jackson said while opening up about her feelings regarding her husband's heartthrob status in a 1996 interview with the Nashville Scene.
"I just know that really he’s the same guy that I married 17 years ago, and I think he has the same priorities and he loves me as much as ever," she added. But her view of things was about to change.
Breaking Point
The next few months marked a pivotal time in the Jacksons' relationship, with Denise suspecting Alan of being unfaithful to her and he accusing her of being too controlling.
The couple tried to make it work for the sake of their children, but navigating these personal struggles while in the public eye proved too much for them. It wouldn’t be long ‘til the marriage they had worked so hard to build was at breaking point.
Separation
In early 1998, just months after the birth of their third daughter, Alan Jackson made a hard decision. He moved out of their sprawling 25,000-square-foot Franklin home and the couple separated.
While divorce papers weren't filed, Denise sought legal guidance from prominent divorce attorney Rose Palermo, prompting speculation that their enduring marriage might be reaching its conclusion. Their fairytale seemed to be unraveling as news circulated that Alan and Denise had split up and were seeking marital counseling.
Rumors Fly
Amidst their separation, rumors swirled, with some suggesting that Alan Jackson had a romantic involvement with fellow singer Faith Hill during their joint 33-city American tour.
However, most people on Music Row were shocked at the news. "I was probably as surprised as anyone," remarked Marty Gamblin, who played a pivotal role in Jackson's early career. "I would have bet the farm that would've never happened. It seemed to be the perfect situation. I think it's one more example of just how tough this business is on people. We don't realize how tough it is on us until it's too late," he told Nashville Scene.
Heartache
The separation endured for over three months, during which Denise admitted to expending considerable effort attempting to regain control over the situation. In an interview with TODAY, she recalled, "trying to manipulate and control and get Alan back, and I was so exhausted."
The ordeal exposed the toll that Alan's soaring career had taken on their relationship. "Alan has such a strong personality, and the more his career grew, the more insecure I felt, and the more I absorbed myself into his world," she continued. "My dreams became his dreams, and it was all about him and his goals, and I kind of lost myself."
Finding God
"I just remember driving home and just crying out to Him, and saying I can't take this anymore. 'I can't believe You want my family to be apart. But if You do, I just give it all to You. I know You'll take care of me.' It wasn't that things changed immediately. But I had just this sense of peace," she recalled a pivotal moment during the trying period of their separation with TODAY.
However, Denise’s faith would play a central role in navigating the turmoil and ultimately allowing her to find it in her heart to forgive Alan for his indiscretions.
Back Together
Reuniting was a gradual process that unfolded over time. Denise's period of solitude enabled her to gain independence and learn decision-making skills. The couple embarked on a journey of rekindling their connection, starting with dating anew and seeking counseling together.
Through counseling, the couple confronted their issues head-on, addressing the underlying factors that contributed to their separation. And they realized that the problems lay not just in Alan’s stardom, but also went back to the origins of their partnership.
Not a Fairytale
“I was a teenager when I got married and had this almost Cinderella complex: I’m going to marry him and he’s so confident and competent and he’s going to take care of me forever and life is going to be one grand fairytale,” Denise said in an interview with People.
“On the outside, I’m sure that’s what most people think about us. But the reality is our marriage isn’t perfect. Even now, every day is a work in progress. I feel like our relationship now is based on love and respect and I think Alan sees me as an equal partner now versus the old relationship when it was based more on dependency,” she went on.
Christian Faith
Denise found profound meaning in her renewed Christian faith. "The greatest blessings in my life have come out of my worst shattering," she revealed in an interview with People. Betrayal and separation led to a deep love for God, which allowed her to approach marriage with new wisdom.
"I really had no choice. If I wanted my marriage to be restored, I had to forgive. I had to draw my strength from God," she admitted. Her unwavering faith not only guided her through forgiveness, but also laid the foundation for her and Alan’s shared healing.
Writing a Book
Denise chronicled their journey of reconciliation and personal growth in her 2008 book It's All About Him: Finding the Love of My Life. The book offers a candid exploration of their struggles and triumphs—from childhood sweethearts at the Dairy Queen to the tumult of fame, time apart, and finally reconciliation.
Co-written with The New York Times best-selling author Ellen Vaugh and with a foreword written by Alan himself, the "Him" Denise refers to in the title is not her husband, but God. Alan even wrote a song to accompany the sale of the book called "It's All About Him". But would the world see just see him as a villain who cheated on his wife when Denise revealed all?
The World Reacts
It’s always nerve-wracking to disclose your story to the world. However, Denise was happy to inform People, “So far, everyone has just embraced it. Alan was worried initially that he would come across as the bad guy but what I’m finding is that everyone has just been so appreciative of him and that he would actually want me to tell our story. We’ve had endorsements from Carrie Underwood, George and Nancy Jones, Ricky Skaggs, and his wife Sharon.”
With the support of the country music world behind them, Alan and Denise felt happy to have shared their story and hoped it would have a positive impact.
Alan's Honesty
Denise's bear-all attitude also allowed Alan to open up about his own experience of their marital struggles and subsequent separation. “I was gone a lot, and you know, vulnerable, and just made some bad choices,” Alan said in an interview on CBS Sunday Morning.
“And I think it was…I was worried about people knowing about that. But then again, it was, you know, I’m a person. Just real. I’m a human being just like anybody and make mistakes, and I think it was even better to see that we survived that and have turned it around,” he continued. While the couple were working on mending their marriage, Alan's career was continuing to soar.
Surviving the Rollercoaster
Alan's tribute to those who died in 9/11, "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)”, transcended the country genre, catapulting him into the mainstream and winning best-record awards from both the Country Music Association and the Grammys.
While Alan's career was soaring, Denise was making a name for herself. Following the success of her first book, she soon penned another called The Road Home, and became a sought-after public speaker at women’s faith conferences and other events. The family was thriving. However, they didn’t know that another curveball was just around the corner.
Health Scare
In 2010, after going to the doctor about some irregular symptoms and bleeding, Denise was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. The Jackson family was devastated, but determined to fight it and Denise started treatment right away.
Alan wrote a song about the ordeal—the heartwrenching ballad "When I Saw You Leaving (For Nisey)", which closed his 2012 album Thirty Miles West. The family’s closeness and resilience, as well as their faith, helped Denise stay positive during her sickness, and thankfully, her treatment was successful. By 2012, she was cancer-free.
Recovery
Surviving a life-threatening sickness can often make people reevaluate how they want to live their lives. "[The diagnosis] made us change our whole outlook on life, what we value and what’s important. That’s what happens in situations like that,” Alan said in an interview with the Palm Beach Post,
They decided to simplify their lives and focus on love and family. As a result, they sold off several of their residences and tried to spend as much time together as possible.
Making Time
"We try to get out and go to dinner or hang out and go to the movies or something. We build a fire and have some wine and a nice evening," Alan told The Boot.
"We get up in the morning and drink coffee together and talk, and I can't go to bed at night if she's downstairs watching television. We go to bed together, unless I'm out of town. It's just little things I think, that have helped us more than anything. If you can last until you're 40 years old, hopefully, you'll be mature enough to figure out the rest of the years," he continued.
New Challenges
In 2021, Alan recently revealed that he has been living with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT). CMT is a neuropathy condition that affects the nervous system and causes muscle wasting. “I have this neuropathy and neurological disease,” Alan Jackson shared with TODAY. “It’s genetic that I inherited from my daddy … There’s no cure for it, but it’s been affecting me for years,” he continued.
Regarding her husband's diagnosis, Denise told TODAY, "We lift each other up. When I’m down, he lifts me up, when he’s down, I try to lift him up.”
"Remember When"
Alan recently took to Instagram to celebrate the 20-year anniversary of the release of “Remember When”, the ballad he wrote as a tribute to Denise and their love story after their separation.
He shared a black and white photo of them as a young couple sitting in a car and can be heard in a voiceover reflecting on their life together and how it influenced the song: "Denise and I met as kids, and all that's true. And most of that is just reflections of our life, and some of it looking ahead. I've had so many comments saying, 'That's one of my favorite songs,' or 'That's our song,'…It connected with a certain audience, I guess."
Family Man
These days, Alan and Denise's marriage appears to be stronger than ever. In building such a strong relationship with his wife, Alan has been able to raise his three daughters in the most loving and stable home.
When he was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, his daughter Alexandra (Ali) took to Facebook to share a beautiful tribute to her father. “The world sees you as follows: a great musician, an impressive songwriter, and a talented vocalist. I see you as: my best friend, the guy that taught me that how you treat people matters more than anything else and taught me just how to stand on my own two feet. You’re every daughter’s dream father. Thank you for raising us in a house filled with Jesus and music, and always making sure we knew whatever our dream was could be our reality,” she wrote.
Looking to the Future
When Alan and Denise Jackson got married in that little church in Newnan, Georgia, they had no idea what the future had in store for them. The childhood sweethearts went from economic hardship to fame and fortune when Alan got his lucky break and became one of country music's brightest stars. Their story is a testament to love, resilience, and faith.
We hope Alan and Denise have many joy-filled years as they enter a new era of their marriage. We’re sure their journey will keep bringing them happiness and fulfillment, as they make precious memories and face the future together as steadfast companions.